Broken Wands and Evil Gods
by wild-filly
Summary: Ron's broken wand accidently transports part of the Z team into the world of Harry Potter and are Shin or Dende going to help them out? NOT AS SUCH! DISCONTINUED.
1. Chapter 1

Wild-filly - At last! The first chapter of my Harry Potter and Dragonball Z crossover is uploaded! *bursts into most uncharacteristic fit of happiness* It nearly killed me, going in and out of completely different stories, but I've got big plans for this one *evil laughter*.  
  
All characters - *glance nervously at insane author*  
  
Wild-filly - I resent that! I am not insane, I'm just.special.in strange ways ^_^;  
  
Ron - So, just what does this Dragonball Z rubbish have to do with the Harry Potter series anyway?  
  
Vegeta - TAKE THAT BACK!!!!!!!!! *ki-blasts Ron into a charred pile of ash*  
  
Wild-filly - STOP THAT RIGHT NOW!! Honestly, you just can't get agreeable characters these days *uses Magic Keyboard to bring Ron back to life* Ron, you in one corner, Vegeta, you in the other.  
  
Ron and Vegeta - *glare daggers at each other and suicidal author*  
  
Wild-filly - O.o; I think I should probably get on with the story.I'll get a friendlier character to do the disclaimer.  
  
Disclaimer - *crickets chirp* Where are the co-operative characters??? Brilliant, you'd think they weren't supporting my story or anything *ducks barrage of rubbish and homework from cast* Aaahhh!!! Ok, I don't own Harry Potter (or the other wizardy folk) or Dragonball Z, HELP!!!! *flees for cover as Harry, Ron, Hermione, Vegeta, Goku, Gohan, Goten, Trunks and Piccolo start another barrage of food scraps*  
  
*Chapter 1*  
  
Murky grey clouds circled the inky night sky, gently spreading a thick blanket of crisp white snow over the vast castle grounds of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. Delicate snowflakes spun through the air, finally coming to rest on the high arched window of the Gryffindor common room, making it virtually impossible to see into the festively decked chamber. A towering fir tree stood in pride of place in the middle of the room; its leafy branches hung with shiny red baubles and golden tinsel. Crackling near a formidable mountain of discarded wrapping paper, was a small log fire which reflected the tinsel's glitter and threw gold shards of light around what would be an other-words darkened room. In front of the glowing fireplace, five people were stationed either on the thick red rug or on a deep crimson armchair.  
  
Hermione Granger was curled up on a plushy armchair, knees drawn up underneath her and a huge leather-bound book was resting midway on her lap and the arm of the chair. Pouring eagerly over the 'History of Egyptian Witchcraft' which Ron and Harry had teamed up to buy her for Christmas, Hermione was obviously stronger than she looked, since the book probably weighed more than the room's occupants put together and had taken a whole team of giant horned owls to deliver.  
  
Harry was kneeling on the floor, carefully tucking his newly-polished Firebolt into a soft leather travelling case courtesy of Sirius. The black leather case would be considerably safer to carry the broom in, rather than wrapped in clothes at the bottom of his trunk. Glancing up at Fred and George, who were working on new Christmas style 'inventions', Harry was well timed and positioned to duck a particularly violent Attacking Cracker which had wrestled itself out of the iron storage box.  
  
"Be careful with those things!" growled Harry as he tore the cheerfully gnawing cracker from the hem of his robes. The cracker hissed at him, red and gold striped motive flashing dangerously as it strove to bit his fingers in any way possible. Fred grinned, reaching over and expertly grabbing the disgruntled cracker and stuffing it back in the box. "Bet nobody was expecting that at the Christmas Feast, eh?" Harry had to agree; Fred and George had placed their Attacking Crackers at the seating places of certain unpopular Slytherins.  
  
Ron looked up from where he was sprawled on the rug, grinning enthusiastically, "I wonder if Malfoy still has his left ear? From what I saw that cracker was enjoying chewing it too much to let go!" George patted the box proudly, "still New Years to come, maybe one of these beauties can take care of the right for him!"  
  
Hermione glanced up from her book, "you're lucky that you weren't given detention for that, Dumbledore knew it was you, nobody else would make those ridiculous things!" "Awh, don't worry about it Hermione, as if those two would ever admit it!" encouraged Ron, plucking at his maroon jumper while Fred and George glared at him.  
  
"I hate maroon," commented Ron passionately, "why do I always get maroon? It's not like I don't ask for other colours, no matter what, I always end up with it, if not from mum, then from some aunt."  
  
Hermione's eyes brightened up considerably. She flicked the massive book shut with a crack, sat up and fixed Ron with a decisive stare, "why don't you change the colour then, since you hate it so much?" Ron stared back, utterly astonished at the idea. "Unless you actually enjoy complaining about it?" conceded Hermione, "it's your choice after all."  
  
Ron's astonished expression dropped and he retorted, "I don't complain!" Hermione rolled her eyes in disgust, "in that case, I apologise. So why don't you change it?" Moving his stare apprehensively to the jumper he wore, Ron hastily pulled it off and lay it on the rug; eyes crossing slightly from the effort to remember the colour-changing spell. Harry pushed his glasses back onto the bridge of his nose, got up from the floor and wandered over to sit beside Ron, his own mind trying to remember the spell.  
  
**There was a very long pause during which Ron, Harry, Fred and George all raked through their memories for the spell. Hermione rolled her eyes, folding her arms in utter disgust and tried to keep herself from screaming out the answer in frustration**  
  
After 10 minutes of solid indecisiveness, Hermione shattered the silence with an agonising moan. "Do ANY of you actually /Iread/I the Standard Book of Spells, over does it just take root to the bottom of your book- bag?" Hermione stared desperately at each of them in turn, refusing to believe that none of her friends took learning the Standard Spells seriously. Harry, Ron, Fred and George each held her stare for a moment and then proceeded to examine the flagstones surrounding the crimson rug. Hermione raised her arms high above her head in mock dramatic despair and addressed the tinsel-edged ceiling, "it's only one of the easiest spells there is after all."  
  
Ron rolled his eyes, glanced at Harry, scrambled unsteadily to his feet and grabbed Hermione's shoulder, "couldn't you just tell us what it is instead of all these theatrics?" Hermione shook his hand off and replied in superior tones, "it's 'spectrumus.' and then the colour you want the jumper to change into." "Great! Thanks Hermione!" Ron's hand plunged into the pocket of his black robes, foraged through the sweet wrappers and crumbs until he pulled out an extremely battered wand. "Wait!" called Harry, quickly standing up and grabbing the chipped wand before Ron could cast the spell, "where's your new one?" Ron glanced down in surprise at his old wand, "why's this one in my pocket? I thought I left it in my trunk, I guess I must have grabbed the wrong one." George moved in for a closer look, taking in the chips, scratches, spellotape and the silvery unicorn hair poking out one end, "you should get rid of that thing Ron, it's pretty dangerous like that. It could really cause some damage if the spell backfired."  
  
Ron glared at George while the rest of the room began to snicker at the thought of Ron changing a different colour. "It blasted Lockhart for us once, how could I have it destroyed after that?!" George nodded; it was a perfectly good reason. Hermione reached over and took the wand from Ron's hands, "it's far too dangerous to attempt a new spell with a broken wand, especially if the wand's known to backfire." A frown flickered across Ron's freckled face, "you never know," he murmured, "maybe it'll work this time". Pulling the wand from Hermione's grasp, Ron steeled himself, ignoring what common sense told him. The wand /Icould/I work, there's no reason why it shouldn't do such a simple little spell with any trouble. Anyway, he'd had it looked at when he bought his new wand and had been told that the wand could perform some small, simple spells without too much difficulty. "Spectrumus Red!" Ron bellowed, flicking the wand at the maroon jumper on the ground. As a huge jet of scarlet light erupted from the wand, Hermione screamed "NO! THAT'S THE WRONG MOVEMENT!!!" Harry, Fred and George however, decided it would be much wiser to dive onto the flagstones and take cover under the furniture. "Uh oh", moaned Ron as the scarlet beam stopped and began to revolve, twisting like a spiral, slowly at first and then faster and faster.  
  
*  
  
Sprawled on the royal-blue velvet sofa, Gohan eyed the excited chibis warily as the terrible two ransacked the main living room of Capsule Corp. in search of just one Christmas present that had been overlooked. "We /Ican't/I have found them all, Trunks!" whined Goten pathetically, turning the famous Son Puppy Eyes to Gohan from where he was sandwiched under the coffee table. "Don't look at me, Goten!" yelped Gohan, trying to avoid being brainwashed by his younger brother's best natural defence, "why don't you just play with the ones you have?"  
  
Large onyx eyes blinking enthusiastically, Goten nodded happily and leapt into the veritable mountain of toys that was on his side of the circular room; separated from Trunks's pile only by the now-very-bedraggled Christmas fir tree. Trunks sighed, plucking absentmindedly at his muted sea-green gi and burrowed into the depths of his own gift mound, shredding away plastic wrappings and attempting to connect a Playstation 2 to the silver wide-screen TV without the benefit of connector cables. Gohan rolled his eyes and staggered to his feet, shuffling resigned behind the sofa, lying facedown on the colour-coordinated royal blue carpet just as there was a huge explosion from the centre of Goten's toy bundle.  
  
Shaking the plaster that had come crashing down from the ceiling out of his spiky black hair, Gohan stood up again, "if you want a plastic wrapping open Goten, just ask me, ok?" "Ok niichan", agreed Goten sheepishly, pulling at his partially-scorched orange gi and attempting to brush the incriminating lumps of plaster under the gift wrappings.  
  
Trunks gave a sudden yelp of pain as the TV shot blue sparks out of the socket he had been trying to plug the PS2 in. "That goes for you as well, Trunks" added Gohan, forcibly removing the PS2 from the chibi's singed fingers and correctly connecting the cables to the TV.  
  
As Goten and Trunks crouched in front of the TV, eagerly ploughing through the stack of games that had been given to them by Bulma in hopes of keeping them remotely quiet while she and Chi-Chi cooked Christmas dinner, Gohan pondered silently to himself on exactly how he had gotten into this mess. 'Wrong place at the right time', he concluded finally; remembering that Chi- Chi had been feeling fairly harassed when he came into the kitchen asking for food. Come to think of it, he was lucky he hadn't been whacked across the side of the head with that infamous Frying Pan of hers into the bargain with babysitting the miniature horrors.  
  
"SON GOKU! I TOLD YOU TO STAY /BAWAY/B FROM THE FRIDGE! GET OUT OF MY SIGHT!!!" The echoing screech from the cavernous Capsule Corp. kitchens was accompanied with a hideous crashing noise that made Gohan wince in agony for his father's skull.  
  
Harried out of the kitchen like a dog with muddy paws, one of the most powerful creatures in the universe was chased into the narrow curved hallway, rubbing a throbbing bruise on the side of his head and wearing a hurt expression. Gohan shook his head and grinned at his father through the open living room door, "I warned you dad, mum is NOT in a good mood today". Still rubbing the purple bruise gingerly, Goku looked like an over- grown version of Goten as he grinned sheepishly and nodded, "I guess I should have left that plum pudding alone after all."  
  
Before Gohan could remind his father that he had in fact foretold his mother's reaction to Goku being in the kitchen, there was an explosion from upstairs so vicious that it threw several golden baubles off the battered Christmas tree and sent some admittedly tacky paintings off the wall. Goku gave a moan of agony as a Santa ornament bounced off a high shelf and landed perfectly on his egg-shaped bruise, "where did that come from?" Gohan walked over to the hallway and pointed up the solid marble staircase, "well, the ornament fell off the shelf and the explosion came from upstairs.I guess Vegeta didn't appreciate that book he got for Christmas". "What book was this?" questioned Goku, intrigued. "Anger Management for Dummies", snickered Gohan, "you should have seen the look on his face when he found THAT under the tree. If looks could kill, then everyone within a 100km radius would have dropped dead from brutal causes".  
  
Turning away from Tony Hawk's Pro-Skater 4, Trunks's cerulean eyes glinted evilly as he said, "don't you think dad liked the gift I gave him?" "That /Iyou/I gave him?" retorted Goten furiously, abandoning his controller, "I helped buy it too remember!" Goku and Gohan sweat-dropped simultaneously, "uh, I wouldn't go telling people about that, guys", muttered Gohan cautiously, glancing around in case of being overheard. "Yeah", agreed Goku loudly, "who knows what Vegeta would do if he found out?"  
  
"Found out what?" came a soft voice from the top of the marble staircase. Turning around, Gohan gave a nervous laugh. *Dende, he'd better not have heard that last conversation or it will NOT be a very merry Christmas after he attacks us and everyone ends up concussed by mum's frying pan* warned Gohan silently, "oh, nothing Vegeta. How was your training?" he answered cheerfully. Vegeta ignored Gohan as usual, marched down the stairway and shoved past the father and son duo on his way towards the kitchen. As his Royal Shortness disappeared through the white swinging doors; Goku, Gohan, Goten and Trunks all began to count in unison, smirks playing on every face, "Ten, nine, eight, seven, six, five, four, three, two, one aaannnddd."  
  
"GET OUT OF MY KITCHEN!!!" came Bulma's banshee scream along with yet another clatter as Chi-Chi's Frying Pan of Doom connected with a Saiyan skull. "HOW DARE YOU SPEAK TO ME LIKE THAT?! I AM THE PRINCE OF ALL SAIYANS!" came Vegeta's answering roar. This time there there was a louder crash and a long silence.  
  
Goku glanced nervously at Gohan and tentatively pushed the gleaming white door open, walking quietly into the kitchen lest he incur his wife's wrath again. Trunks got up from where he was sitting cross-legged on the carpet and jogged over to the doorframe where Gohan was standing transfixed, "do you think they killed him?" Jolting back to reality, Gohan shook his head, "nah, it would take more than a frying pan to take out your dad, although if our mothers both had frying pans." Gohan shook himself mentally; no, Vegeta wasn't dead. Unconscious maybe, but not dead.  
  
Finally Goku emerged; Vegeta wearing a concussed expression as Goku towed him by the wrist out of immediate danger and guided him to the sofa. "Are you alright dad?" asked Trunks cautiously, edging over to where Vegeta was struggling to remain upright on the couch. Staring unseeingly at his son, Vegeta's eyes slowly glazed over and he smiled faintly as he fell forwards unconscious into the pile of wrapping paper. Trunks and Goku delved through the seemingly bottomless pile and finally shifted Vegeta back onto the couch and shook their heads in amusement. He'd live all right, and he wouldn't be happy to find out that Kakarott was the one who saved him from the banshees' clutches.  
  
Gohan was trying his hardest not to laugh when he felt Piccolo's ki enter the room. "Hey Mr Piccolo", called Goten excitedly, "did you bring me a Christmas present?" "Christmas present?" asked the Namekian, a puzzled expression writ clearly across his face. "Christmas is a holiday", explained Gohan as he walked over to greet his friend and former sensei. "What brings you over here, Piccolo?"  
  
Jerking his head in the direction of the blue sofa, Piccolo replied, "I felt Vegeta's ki drop considerably, I thought that you might need some help here." "Nah, he just annoyed Bulma and Chi-Chi", laughed Goku, "neither of them are enjoying our company very much; especially when we enter the kitchen". Piccolo looked for a moment as if he might ask why, but seemed to decide that he really didn't want to know.  
  
**Miles above the Earth, reclining on a deck-chair positioned at the very edge of the Lookout, Dende; the Guardian of Earth; was mindlessly drunk. Frowning in distaste at his master, Mr Popo attempted to remove the fortieth carton of eggnog from the young Namekian's grasp. Shaken from his drunken stupor, Dende latched on even harder to the half-full carton, "NO! It's *hic* mine!" "I think you've had more than enough Dende", said Mr Popo reproachfully, "I know it's Christmas, but all those Pina Coladas were plenty, let alone this amount of eggnog".  
  
Dende leapt to his feet and was about to burst into a furious answer on how immune he was to the powers of alcohol, when the hem of his cloak tangled on the arms of the sunny-yellow deck-chair and sent the young God sprawling onto the polished white tiles. Sighing resignedly, Mr Popo heaved the dazed Dende back onto his feet. Blinking slightly, Dende's brow furrowed as something forced him to return slightly to sanity. A portal? Someone was trying to open a portal from another dimension into this world! But how? Nobody in their right mind would want to enter this domain.  
  
Dende was just about to focus all of his Guardian powers into pushing away the magical field, until he realised just where the portal was opening. Capsule Corp? How could he pass off such a great opportunity??? Grinning with malicious intent, Dende removed his own magical barriers so that the portal could open.right in the middle of the Capsule Corp. living room.**  
  
"Um, I'm willing to bet that's not a good sign", remarked Gohan as a huge, crimson spiralling portal flickered into existence where the Christmas tree used to be. "What is that thing?" asked Goten, awestruck, reaching out with trembling fingertips to poke the middle of the portal. "Goten! DON"T!" roared Goku in panic, but it was too late. In a scarlet flash of light, Goten had vanished.  
  
Gohan leapt forward after his brother, Trunks right with him. Piccolo leant forward to grab Gohan's shoulder and pull him out of danger, just as Vegeta began to see straight and grabbed Trunks's collar; his intent unknown. In yet another flash, all four disappeared, leaving Goku undecided on his next move in the middle of a pile of wrapping paper. "SON GOKU! WHAT"S GOING ON OUT THERE?" came Chi-Chi's threatening bellow. Goku gulped nervously, weighing up his chances of survival in the unknown dimension, or in Capsule Corp. with his wife questioning their sons' whereabouts. Yep, unknown dimension definitely looked best. So Goku stepped into the portal just as it sealed itself with a scarlet flash, leaving the living room of Capsule Corp. completely devoid of inhabitants.  
  
  
  
  
  
Please review, I'll make sure I write more unless I get killed by my own cast *glares at mutinous characters who are stalking around the computer desk* 


	2. Chapter 2

Thank you so much to all of my wonderful reviewers!!!!  
  
I'm so happy! I feel loved ^_^ I promise I'll take heed to what everybody has to say, so if you have any ideas, complaints, praise you decide to want to shower me in (praise please), feel free!  
  
Disclaimer: I don't have to disclaim anything! As long as I am anonymous on the internet, the lawyers can't find and sue me!! *breaks into fit of evil laughter and falls off chair in terror and shock as stampede of lawyers gallops up the street and hammers on the front door* *gulp* where can I hide? HELP ME!!!!!! *uses handy tennis racket to knock lawyers scaling the walls to the study/playroom window back into the shrubbery*  
  
*glares at sullen characters at opposite side of the room* I've had this lot agree not to try and kill me, else I'd torture their characters even more.*leaves suspense for torture to be imagined by readers and wretched cast to save author having to use actual brain-power and typing effort*  
  
Ok, I'll just go get the family sock-basket and chase the lawyers off.for now though, feel free to read on!! *darts off the computer and moments later screams of terror come from the front lawn as the bloodthirsty lawyers are bombarded with used socks*  
  
**Chapter 2**  
  
Ron could only stand utterly rooted to the spot in fear, shock and disbelief as the whirling red portal his broken wand had created began to glow an ugly blood-red. The rusty colour then was then replaced by a massive beam of scarlet light; blinding the room's astonished occupants as they tried to see just what monstrosity the accursed wand had brought in this time.  
  
From where Harry was crouched behind one of the armchairs, peering tentatively towards the portal from over the back of the chair, he could see an assortment of shapes appearing. Some of these shapes seemed exceptionally tall for a witch or wizard, but they were definitely humanoid at least.although some of them did have rather impressive amounts of spiky hair. Finally the light cleared as the portal gave a sigh and shuddered to a halt; eventually fading from view.  
  
The whole room froze. Harry glanced warily at the visitors.whether they were humanoid or not, they definitely were NOT normal. There seemed to be two little kids; one with the seemingly characteristic spiky black hair, and another with.purple hair?! There was then a slightly taller one, with hair which was making up for his lack in height and a livid scowl which rivalled that of the dear Potions teacher. Standing towards the back of the group were two more taller ones with spiky hair and then a green vaguely-humanoid creature.  
  
'Wherever these people are from', thought Harry, 'they must have a lot of problems with people sticking forks in electrical sockets'.  
  
Gohan was in a similar state of shock; they had been warped from the nice, familiar living room of Capsule Corp. into a cramped, stuffy room which was already inhabited by five human adolescents who were staring at them in varying states of terror and/or astonishment. Even the chibis were silent; staring in surprise at the seemingly petrified group of strangely dressed teens. Piccolo showed very little in the way of emotion; since he'd been Kami of Earth himself at one stage, he knew fine that there were other, parallel versions of Earth and not just the one he happened to reside in. Dende was Piccolo's instant suspicion; there couldn't be another way to transport half the Z team into another dimension.  
  
Gohan was thinking something similar along those lines, except it was mostly to do with exactly how brutally he would kill a certain seriously- endangered young Namekian.  
  
At last, the uncomfortable silence was broken by a weak chuckle by Goku. As every eye turned to fix itself on the slightly twitching Saiyan, Goku proceeded to grin and reach his hand behind his head to scratch his back in the classic Confused Son stance. "ummm.I think we might have gotten lost somewhere" said Goku sheepishly.  
  
The tension seemed to snap as Vegeta gave an exasperated growl and had to be blocked by Gohan before he could knock a little sense into Kakarrot's thick skull. Harry, Fred and George all cautiously emerged from their hiding places and moved to stand alongside Ron and Hermione.  
  
Unable to remain silent any longer, Hermione spun around, eyeing Ron with a mixture of fury and admiration. "DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA WHAT YOU HAVE JUST DONE?!" she screeched excitedly. Ron cowered slightly from the explosion and snapped back, "of course I know what I've just done! That bloody wand of mine has warped these.these.people into our common room, during the holidays, late at night, after we've been told millions of times NOT to use magic out of school times, and now I'm going to be expelled and or arrested!!!"  
  
Hermione nodded impatiently, "yes, you've done all that, but do you have any idea just how hard that level of magic is? I don't think even Dumbledore could transport people from another dimension with a fixed wand, let alone a broken one! It takes a huge amount of magical power."  
  
Harry, Fred and George all slowly turned to stare at Ron, who was slowly turning a ghostly white out of shock. It was probably just as well that Vegeta decided to cut in at that point, or it was very likely that Ron would have fainted on the spot.  
  
"Alright brat, where am I?" demanded Vegeta, striding forward and glaring at Ron, who by now there was no doubt to the Z team knew was the one who had brought them there. Ron's eyes slowly came back into focus and he mumbled, "what have I done?"  
  
Harry and Hermione moved forward, grabbing one of Ron's arms each, steading his balance. Vegeta however, was not impressed at being ignored. Raising his left hand palm-upwards, he conjured up a small ball of blue ki, "I'm warning you brat, I demand to be told where I am or I'll blast you into another dimension!"  
  
Goku stepped forward to extinguish Vegeta's ki, but stopped to watch the robed teens as they each drew out a long thin piece of wood each. Gohan moved forward into better light, "what are those things?" Harry met Gohan's eyes, "they're wands; we can use them to cast magic, so I suggest you tell your friend to stop threaten us"  
  
Fred, George, Harry, Ron and Hermione all stared in surprise at the effect Harry's words had on the "visitors". "Magic? You mean like wizards?" called Goten anxiously. Hermione nodded, as Goten and Trunks steeled themselves, slipping into practised martial arts attack frames. "What are you doing?" spoke up George curiously as Vegeta extinguished the ball of ki, staring at them in an expression of utter hate while Goku, Gohan and Piccolo all slipped into similar fighting stances. Gohan frowned, "we haven't had many good experiences with wizards in the past, so I recommend that you don't use magic in case we act the same way we did last time we met a wizard."  
  
"What do you have against wizards?" asked Hermione, lowering her wand as the others mimicked her; never taking their eyes off the suddenly hostile visitors. Slowly the Z team relaxed a little, the wary look in their eyes still present. "The last wizard we met revived a virtually indestructible monster who butchered more than half of Earth's population. He partially enslaved Vegeta, killed Kibito and then attempted to kill the Supreme Kai. We thought that my son Gohan here had been killed as well, but thankfully the Supreme Kai had saved him," Goku summarized.  
  
Harry blinked, he hadn't understood some of the story, but he got the general gist that these people had had some serious problems with magic in the past. "Don't worry", said Hermione carefully, "we certainly don't do anything like that here". "Where exactly is here?" asked Piccolo quietly. "This is Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, Ron here tried to turn his jumper a different colour, but seems to have accidentally opened a portal between worlds", Hermione explained as best she could.  
  
Gohan smacked his hand off his forehead, you are sooo dead Dende.  
  
"So," said Goku pleasantly, "how do we get home again? Only I'm on a bit of a limited timeframe see, as I only got a week off for Christmas and New Year". "A week off from what?" asked George curiously. "Being dead", stated Goku easily, as if it were the simplest thing in the world. Blinking in confusion, the four junior wizards and witch slowly inclined their heads upwards to where Goku was signalling above his mass of spiky hair. There, perched at a jaunty angle with a small piece of festive Christmas holly, was an unmistakeable halo.  
  
"Good grief", murmured Ron in a voice only Harry and Hermione could hear, "what have I done this time?!"  
Just a short, rather boring chapter I'm afraid, the next will be more interesting; I just wanted to lay the foundations clearly.I HATE it when fics don't explain themselves so they make some sort of slight sense!  
  
Next chapter - The Z team are introduced to Dumbledore, who makes them temporary "students" while he works on a spell to send them home. Goten and Trunks team up with Fred and George.what horrors will the terrible two and Hogwart's best pranksters (of the time at least) release? Will Goku ever be dragged out of the kitchens, and who will win the evilness award? Snape or Vegeta????  
  
Stay tuned (not literally) and I'll find some way to upload my next chapter!!!! *hears another battering ram crash into the front door O.O;* the lawyers are back! AAAAaaaaaaaaaaaaaHHHHHHHHHHhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!! *runs screaming into relative safety of underneath the computer desk* 


	3. Chapter 3

Thanks once again to all my great reviewers! If I get enough time, I'll make sure I read and review ALL your stories!!!  
  
Ok, I'm on a bit of a roll here, I want to make this fic more INTERESTING!!! There will be a little more groundwork here, but I'll be starting up more of the plot *there's a plot? Where? Where? Oh, it's just another figment of my imagination *sigh* *  
  
I'll be introducing more characters as I go.the Supreme Kai will begin aiding Dende in his evil plot to wreck Gohan's life, any other characters you think I should add??? Mail me any ideas, but not the email address on my user-lookup, I don't actually use it anymore; my new one is psycho_filly@hotmail.com, but for some reason, Fanfiction won't let me use it *hmmm*  
Disclaimer: *is still crouching under computer desk with desperate, hunted look in her wild eyes; clutching the faithful tennis racket* I...d..don.DON'T..own..dra.Dragonball Z..or.or..Harry..Potter *evilly- smirking lawyer steps out of shadows and withdraws legal fees for claiming ownership* *wild-filly watches quietly as lawyers troop out of study, then smirks in favourite evil grin* he he he.I HAD MY FINGERS CROSSED!!!!!!!  
  
**Chapter 3**  
  
Fred and George darted down the narrow corridor leading away from Gryffindor Tower; scouting ahead for any patrolling teachers who might seriously endanger their health for being out of bed and in company of aliens. "go, go now!" hissed Hermione, pushing Gohan out of the picture frame, followed closely by Goten and Trunks, Goku gripping Goten's shoulder with Piccolo just behind him. Vegeta brought up the rear with a bored expression clearly writ over his face.  
  
Harry jogged alongside Gohan, signalling to the demi-Saiyan which pathway to take. Gohan decided to slow down his jog a little, since his dark- haired friend was looking very red in the face. "So," panted Harry, "who are you anyway?" Gohan smiled, "my name's Gohan, what's yours?" "I'm Harry, so what's your home like?" "Well, it's similar to yours geographically, but the technology is a bit different and as far as I know, there are less wizards."  
  
Gohan paused, taking in the endless stretches of stone walls, eyeing the sleepy portraits curiously. "Who's Dumbledore?" Harry, brushed a stray strand of hair from his glasses, "Dumbledore's the headmaster of Hogwarts, he's an extremely powerful wizard." "Who's the most powerful wizard in the world?" pondered Gohan.  
  
Harry seemed to freeze, Gohan slowed further and stared at the pale young wizard, "what's wrong?" Harry seemed to reanimate himself, "well.that's a hard one to answer. It's basically a toss-up between Dumbledore and Voldemort."  
  
"Who's Voldemort?" queried Gohan curiously. Harry turned away, glaring at the flagstones as they lightly jogged through yet another corridor. "Voldemort is the evillest wizard of our time. He killed my parents and tried to kill me too, but the spell backfired and practically destroyed Voldemort. I wound up famous and he wound up vengeful." Gohan bowed his head slightly, "I'm sorry about that. My dad's been killed a couple of times too, and the last enemy we fought also killed my mother."  
  
The two then met eyes again; a feeling of mutual trust building.  
  
At last they reached the winged statue guarding the entrance to Dumbledore's office. Harry and Gohan waited until Ron, Hermione, Piccolo, Goku and Vegeta caught up, since Goten, Trunks, Fred and George were already there and making guesses at the password.  
"I'm sure it's some type of sweet.that's what is was last time, wasn't it Harry?" asked Hermione, beginning to reel off every sugar-infused food product known to wizard or humankind. Goku stood patiently (drooling slightly) as the five adolescents with the help of Goten and Trunks, called out yet more types of chocolate.  
  
Vegeta however, glared impatiently at the gargoyle's twisted face. Folding his arms and shooting an impatient glance at Piccolo, who was also looking suitably bored, the two exchanged a brief nod. Lifting his left hand up slightly, Vegeta quietly conjured up a small, but lethal ball of ki, eyes never leaving their places on the gargoyle's marble pupils. Piccolo reached out just in time to yank Goku out of the way of Vegeta's *ahem* ill- aimed ki-blast and the golden jet of energy entered the statue. There was second of silence, and then the statue gave a quiet sigh and exploded into millions of fragments of very fine dust.  
  
Coated in suspicious white powder *he he he*, Ron, Harry, Hermione, George and Fred all slowly turned around to gape at the satisfied Saiyan Prince. Goku freed himself of Piccolo's grasp, "you could have hit me Vegeta", he said reproachfully. However, there wasn't any time for Vegeta to answer that one, because they were suddenly joined by a very old and rather ruffled looking man.  
  
Albus Dumbledore had been peacefully admiring the night sky, watching the birth of a new star, and had just been down to the kitchens for a mug of hot chocolate when he returned to find some rather strange visitors and his gargoyle somewhat redesigned.  
  
Looking over his half-moon spectacles in slight surprise, Dumbledore said mildly, "was there something I could do for you?" Harry stepped forward, attempting to brush off some of the marble dust and said hurriedly, "we're really sorry Professor, but we had a bit of an accident performing a spell." Dumbledore's piercing blue eyes surveyed the company, "was the accident with my gargoyle or with your new.friends?"  
  
***  
  
"Very well", said Dumbledore quietly, chin resting on his steepled fingers. Gohan glanced around the study; strange tools, statues and symbols, surrounded them; all of which seemed to vary in cult extremity. They were all squashed into a circular study which favoured red and gold drapes exceptionally. Ron, Harry and Hermione had explained their side of the story and Goku had attempted to re-enact theirs.  
  
"From what I can tell", said Dumbledore after a thoughtful pause, "you have three choices for your status." "What are the choices?" growled Piccolo in his usual way. Dumbledore sat up, allowing himself to view the new additions to the school population more closely. " You could remain here for as long as you live and never return home." Gohan froze, stiffening as many of the others (bar Vegeta) did the same. "Although I can tell that's out of the question," continued Dumbledore, "you could wait a while until I gather enough magical energy along with several other wizards to be able to send you home, or you could appeal to powers in your own home world to bring you back."  
  
"How could we communicate with them?" asked Goku perplexed, "I've already tried contacting King Kai, but we're just too far away!" The aged wizard smiled, tugging traces of his snowy beard off of his sweeping violet robe, "I can open a portal for a brief amount of time, but you will only be able to see and speak to the person; not actually go through." "Could you do that? It would be great." With a triumphant grin, Albus clapped his hands together and stood up, shuffling out from behind his desk and moving into the middle of the room.  
  
Everyone automatically stepped out of the way, forming a semicircle behind the older wizard. The circular room darkened, until only a small blue light could be seen from the tip of Dumbledore's wand. Harry was suddenly aware of just how loud everyone was breathing, he was standing in-between Ron and Gohan; both of which were staring at the middle of the circle. The shadows swirling around the room seemed to deepen, closing in on the room's silent occupants.  
  
Minutes crawled past, and with each one the wand's glow grew stronger. Squinting at the wizard's tired face, Gohan was surprised to see beads of sweat trickling down the old man's furrowed brow. I guess it's like one of us building up our strongest attacks, pondered Gohan, remembering his father's Spirit Bomb attack and wondering if it was similar to this.  
  
At last, a blue spark shot from the wand. It vanished from view, but moments later, another blasted from the vibrating wand tip. They came slowly at first, but then more rapidly and no longer vanishing. A great electric blue surge issued from Dumbledore's wand and began to slowly revolve, just as Ron's red beam had done earlier. The sparks compacted and formed a disc, no larger than a coffee table top, but glowing an eerie electric blue and occasionally throwing off loose sparks.  
  
"Quickly now", moaned Dumbledore, "who do you want me to contact?" Goku opened his mouth to suggest Dende, but Gohan had suspected that name would crop up. There was NO way that little.Namek would help them out, since he was probably responsible for letting the portal appear in Capsule Corp. Cutting in before Goku could speak, Gohan called firmly, "the Supreme Kai, he's probably got the right kind of powers for this".  
  
Goku glanced at his oldest son in surprise, wondering why he had stopped him. Finally it dawned on Goku's permanently out-to-lunch brain that Gohan and Dende always seemed to be settling scores with each other, so perhaps asking Dende for help wasn't such a very wise choice.  
  
Dumbledore's frown deepened, searching for the right opening. Half an hour later, the tension in the room had dropped considerably and Harry was wondering just how much longer it was going to take the elderly wizard until he collapsed in exhaustion, when Dumbledore gave a loud gasp and the portal glimmered a strange rippling silver.  
  
Much to the entire room's surprise, a recorded message began to play. 'Hello, you have reached the Supreme Kai's planet. Unfortunately Shin cannot open your portal right now because he is busy ensuring that the universe does not spontaneously combust for reasons unknown and too confusing for the likes of you anyway. Please leave your name, universe quadrant, planet and post code and the Supreme Kai will contact you as soon as possible'. There was then an unmistakable click as the recording of Kibito's voice was cut off.  
  
No one moved, nobody knew how to react. Finally the moment snapped and the entire Z team fell over anime style. The young wizards and witch glanced at each other in a mixture of shock and trying not to laugh. Dumbledore stared at Gohan as he attempted to clamber back to his feet in limited light and space. "Does your friend repeatedly get these kind of calls?"  
  
Gohan grinned, "well, he oversees the entire universe where we come from, so I guess he probably does." "I think you'd better leave a message then", smiled Dumbledore, appearing to also have difficulty trying not to laugh. Stepping forward until he was just in front of the silvery portal, Gohan swallowed nervously, rubbing at a singe mark on his navy-blue gi as a loose spark caught his shoulder. Clearing his throat, Gohan began "hello, Supreme Kai? It's Gohan here, I'm in a bit of a predicament because me, dad, Goten, Piccolo, Trunks and Vegeta all got pulled into another dimension, so we could really do with some help if you could get back to us as soon as you can please?" Dumbledore whispered an incantation and the portal fizzed out, disapparating into thin air. The room flooded back into light, revealing the room's temporarily blinded occupants.  
  
"Now", said Dumbledore, striding back behind his desk, "where are we going to let you stay?" Harry moved over to the desk, fiddling absent-mindedly with the sleeve of his coal-black robe, "they could stay in our common room if it's easiest, Professor?"  
  
Dumbledore smiled, pushing his gold rimmed glasses back up the bridge of his crooked nose. "Do our guests have any problems with this?" Goku shook his head and smiled enthusiastically, "that's fine with us!" "Speak for yourself, Kakarrot", growled Vegeta in his usual charming manner. Dumbledore decided just to ignore the comment; it was too late for any more difficulties.  
  
"Only tonight though I'm afraid", he smiled, "if you're going to stay at Hogwarts even for a short length of time, you have to be sorted into houses". Too tired to argue any more, Goku nodded agreeably; fine details like what the old man was talking about could be sorted after supper.  
  
** reclining leisurely in a manner frighteningly similar to Dende, the Supreme Kai was in his study; largely ignoring the complex tools used for calculating the atomic balances of the universe. Sighing resignedly, Shin removed his boots from the polished desk and replaced all four legs of the carved mahogany chair back onto the floor as he felt Kibito's ki approaching. Why was that guy always ready to barge in the instant he put his feet up?  
  
As the gilded white stone doors were swung open, Shin was back to glaring at the finer instruments, taking complex notes which in actual reality only served the purpose of looking as though he were working. Kibito bowed slightly, "forgive me Supreme Kai, but you have just received a transmition from Gohan". "Gohan?" Shin turned away from the hastily scribbled notes, "what's wrong?" "He's trapped in another dimension and from what I can tell, and I think Dende may have "helped out" in some way".  
  
Shin shook his head in disbelief, would that little Namek ever leave the demi-Saiyan alone? He'd had more complaint notes about him than any guardian in all three of the other Quadrants put together! Frowning in disgust, Shin turned away, "I'll contact him later Kibito. Gohan will just have to find someone else to complain to this time."  
  
Kibito blinked in shock, what was up with Shin today? Bowing respectfully just the same, the ancient creature backed out the room and closed the doors. Instantly resuming his former position, Shin pondered to himself, Dende always has all the fun, why couldn't he join in for once? Grinning in a most uncharacteristicly evil way, the Supreme Kai pushed his chair even further back until to his horror and embarrassment, the chair clattered over backwards and sent him sprawling onto the milk-white tiles and brought Kibito racing into the room in panic as to what had just attacked his charge**  
At last! It's quarter to eleven and I'm finally finished!!! Please read, review and continue to put up with my gibberish!  
  
I plan to give the Supreme Kai a bigger part, since no one EVER seems to write him as being as evil as Dende, despite the fact that he has even more opportunities!!!!! Think I should include anyone else? Review or email me at psycho_filly@hotmail.com, I'm always open for ideas!! 


	4. Chapter 4

GAH!!! When I asked for ideas, I forgot to draw the line somewhere.. I DON'T WRITE ROMANCE FICS SO PLEASE DON'T ASK ME TO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *shudder* sorry about that, I just DON'T write romances, unless I get enough demand and decide to swallow my reputation as a pessimist towards romance. But for everyone else who pointed out careless mistakes and gave me helpful hints or random comments, I'm very grateful ^_^  
  
Ah yes, one kind reviewer was good enough to point out to me the fact that Goku is in fact alive during this time frame. My explanation..author ignorance? Nah, he's dead coz it suits the story better in my worthless opinion.  
  
Disclaimer: Finally! The lawyers cleared off when one of them accidentally whacked Vegeta with a briefcase. Sorry did I say cleared off? They were blasted into the other dimension *sigh* How predictable. Ok, Goku you can do the honours.  
  
Goku: what honours?  
  
Wild-filly: you get to disclaim the story!  
  
Goku: *scratches head* what's "disclaim" mean?  
  
Wild-filly: *growling in exasperation* it means I don't own you or Harry Potter, ok????  
  
Goku: *continues to scratch head and then smiles as if undergoing a sudden great idea* but then haven't you already disclaimed the story by telling me?  
  
Wild-filly: HOW DARE YOU CONTRADICT THE AUTHOR??? YOU"RE FIRED FROM EVER DOING A DISCLAIMER EVER AGAIN!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Goku: ok! *ambles away cheerfully*  
  
Wild-filly: grrrrrrrrrrrr...  
  
**Chapter 4**  
  
Shards of dawn light filtered through heavy crimson curtains, staining the scarlet and gold circular room with dappled rays of sunlight. On the flagstone floor, partially covered by islands of rug, were a huge assortment of sleeping bags, blankets and snoring. Gohan, Goku, Goten and Trunks were all still recovering from the previous night and were absolutely dead to the world - oblivious to the stares they were attracting from the sleepy Gryffindors who were trooping down from their dormitories for breakfast. Vegeta and Piccolo were nowhere to be seen.  
  
Harry yawned, sitting up sleepily in bed and groping his bedside cabinet for those illusive glasses. Finally seizing a circular lens, Harry pushed the glasses onto his nose and blinked hard a couple of times, wondering what had disturbed him this soon before his usual waking time. Wafting sounds of surprised chatter where coming from downstairs. The aliens!  
  
Scrambling out of bed, hurriedly tugging on his coal-black robe, Harry bolted down the spiral staircase down to the common room. Harry was instantly confronted by Neville, who for once was also up early.  
  
"Harry!" whispered Neville as loudly as he dared, shuffling his way through the crowd of fascinated wizards and witches "who are they?"  
  
Harry smiled briefly at Neville, "it's a long story, and Ron's wand accidentally transported them here". Instantly, every Gryffindor in the room turned to stare at him. "Who are they?" came Colin's voice from somewhere near the back of the group. "They're from a different dimension, one of the spells Ron was performing backfired. As far as I know, they're martial artists and some of them aren't actually human".  
  
A muffled clumping made its way down the stairs and the half-asleep and scruffily dressed Ron eyed the crowd in surprise. "You brought these people here, Ron?" whispered Colin loudly, his excited face only just visible over the heads of the curious Gryffindors. Ron grinned nervously, still not fully awake, "uh, can I answer these later? It's just that I'm starving!" Hermione emerged from yet another flight of stairs and smiled at the snoring mass of Saiyan and demi-Saiyans plastered on the floor, "do you think we should tell them that it's time for breakfast?"  
  
Instantly Goku's eyes flew open, "breakfast?" Jerked into life by a word associated with food, Gohan, Goten and Trunks all sat up in their sleeping bags with startling speed. "Food? Where? Where?" shrieked Goten excitedly, head snapping in every direction as he tried to spot the afore- mentioned food before his father, brother or friend could beat him to it.  
  
*  
  
Meanwhile, Vegeta had woken up considerably earlier than the other Saiyans and decided that even if he had been transported into an unknown dimension, it was no reason to stop training. It was pretty unlikely that there would be a gravity machine anywhere, but from what the Saiyan Prince saw from the window of the Gryffindor common room, this castle had impressive grounds which would be suitable enough for training.  
  
Vegeta glared at the window; should I bother using all those doors or just blast my way out? Might as well just make my own exit, if these freaks really are wizards, it won't bother them. Striding forwards, Vegeta placed the tips of his fingers on the cold stone wall. He froze for a moment, frowning slightly in concentration, then pushed. The Saiyan's gloved hands sank into the castle wall like a hot knife through butter and slowly pushed themselves outwards and downwards, ripping a Saiyan-sized hole in the castle wall. Smirking slightly, Vegeta leapt out of the "doorway" and hovered outside the Gryffindor tower.  
  
'This place certainly is bigger than I thought' realised Vegeta as he cruised through the sky above the castle. He then stopped to hover over the Quidditch pitch. 'Perfect'  
  
Vegeta dived down and landed gracefully on the smooth lawn of the pitch, glaring at Piccolo who was already meditating in the middle. "What are you doing here, Namek?" Piccolo opened one eye to return the glare, "some of us have already been here for two hours while the rest of us have been sleeping". Vegeta stuck is nose in the air arrogantly, "well in that case, some of us have had enough time here and need to move over and let the real fighters train". Piccolo opened the other eye, unfolding his legs and coming to rest on the ground again, "is that a challenge?"  
  
Vegeta grinned. No competition in this spar.  
  
*  
  
Madame Hooch hurried down the corridor towards Dumbledore's office, seriously doubting her own sanity. She could have sworn she'd seen two strange creatures flying around the Quidditch pitch, without broomsticks and were throwing what looked like handfuls of light at each other, was she going crazy? The crusty Quidditch coach shook herself mentally; Albus would know what to do.  
  
*  
  
Goku yawned sleepily, stretching both arms out behind his back and then whacking his face with both hands in attempt to kick his eyes back into function, "so, where do we have breakfast?" Harry shuffled forward, Ron and Hermione at his side, "we'll have to go down to the Great Hall. Where are the others?" "Huh?" was Goku's thoughtful reply as he realised that the room was minus two occupants and there was a relatively new Saiyan- shaped hole in the wall. Gohan sighed, putting two and two together faster than his illiterate father, "Piccolo and Vegeta probably went off to train somewhere; their kis are close by so they should turn up when Vegeta gets hungry".  
  
Harry nodded, "this way, come on!" Flanked by Ron and Hermione, Harry cut a path for the yawning Saiyans through the fascinated crowd. Clambering out of the portrait hole, Gohan blinked in the soft light, taking in the beauty of the surroundings he had been unable to see earlier. The coppery bricks were partially covered by numerous paintings which joined the rest of Gryffindor Tower in staring at the newcomers. Padding down the sweeping staircases, the Son family (minus Chi-Chi) and Trunks finally arrived in a massive hall; fluffy white clouds circling the seated students and teachers already there and staring pointedly at the Saiyans.  
  
Gohan grinned nervously, realising just how conspicuous they looked - a small group of spiky-haired...people, dressed in strange, loose-fitting fighting gis. Goku seemed to be noticing this as well and was scratching his back in the way he always did when confused.  
  
Harry glanced around the raised area where the teachers sat. Dumbledore was nowhere to be seen.  
  
*  
  
Piccolo and Vegeta locked together, furiously exchanging kicks and punches - blocking at unbelievably fast rates. Vegeta broke away, leaving a still image as he cut in from behind; punching deep into the small of the Namek's back. Piccolo gave a strangled gasp of pain and plummeted to the ground; only able to stop himself at the last moment and hover a few inches above the turf, glaring up at the smirking Saiyan. With a snarl, he leapt back into the air, shooting a series of ki blasts at the cocky warrior as the Namekian struggled to come to terms with the fact that he knew Vegeta was only toying with him in this spar - all he had to do was transform and it would be over.  
  
Madame Hooch jogged down to the edge of the pitch, Dumbledore, Professor McGonagal, Snape and Hagrid right after her. "See?" she rasped nervously, "I came down to check if the pitch would be okay for Quidditch training today and those.things were there!" Snape stepped forward, dark eyes glinting malevolently as he drew a wand from the folds of his black robe. Dumbledore frowned, "Severus, these are guests of the castle." Snape jerked back, stiffening in surprise, "when did they arrive? What are they?"  
  
Albus strode forward onto the pitch, catching the attention of the two fighters. Breaking away from the bout of trading blows, Piccolo dived back down to the ground while Vegeta created another still-frame in a fit of egocentricity. Piccolo glanced at the Saiyan prince as Vegeta adopted his standard pose which could be quite accurately translated as 'you are not worthy of my presence, now LEAVE or I will be forced to use an ounce of my strength to dispose of you'. No chance he was going to help explain this one to the old wizard.  
  
"Forgive us for making use of your castle grounds, but we needed an area to spar". There; an exceptionally long speech by Piccolo's standards.  
  
Snape blinked. "What do you mean, spar?" Piccolo jerked his head irritably towards Snape, why did the human insist on asking stupid questions? "I mean 'spar' as in martial arts. From where we come from, our skill at martial arts is what keeps us alive." Snape smirked - Albus had found yet another bunch of crackpots to hang around with. Vegeta glared at Snape; he could tell that the greasy human had moved forward to threaten them and felt that it was his right to ensure that the human never tried such a foolish tact again. Final Flash should work just fine. Snape felt the burning stare of short Saiyan prince and returned a glare of similar velocity and arrogance.  
  
"Well if there is nothing wrong out here, might I suggest that we return to breakfast? After all we are keeping the rest of the school waiting", McGonagal chipped in curtly, sensing the intense feeling of hatred building between Severus and the "visitor" who wasn't green. The small group of teachers turned and wandered back into the castle, Piccolo and Vegeta following after them. Snape was especially reluctant to expose his back to the shorter.man.  
  
*  
  
Seated beside Harry at the Gryffindor table, Gohan looked towards the entrance of the hall, sensing Piccolo and Vegeta's kis approaching. 'About time too' muttered the demi-Saiyan, glancing reproachfully at his growling stomach. Goten leapt up from the bench, waving his arms furiously, "HURRY UP MR PICCOLO!! I'M STAAAAARRRRRVVVVVVIIIIIINGGGGGGG!!!!" If possible, the Son family attracted even more stares as the embarrassed Namekian and indifferent Saiyan prince navigated themselves over to the Gryffindor table and found seating places - Vegeta pointedly avoiding the cheerfully- grinning Kakarott. Piccolo sat between Gohan and Goten, glaring down at the ecstatic chibi who was desperately looking around for evidence of kitchens and the promised breakfast.  
  
Dumbledore sedately made his way with the other teachers back to the head table, waiting for the hall to settle before starting to speak, "as you are all now aware, we have some unexpected guests among us. They came to be with us last night when a student's spell backfired and dragged them from their home-dimension into our own. Until one of their friends can answer their call for assistance or I myself can gather enough magical energy to send them home, they will be temporary members of the school community. Which of course means that they will have to be sorted into appropriate houses."  
  
Instantly the hall was buzzing with whispered conversations. Goku blinked in confusion, turning to Harry who was staring at Dumbledore in surprise. Hermione leant over to speak to the stunned Harry, "where do you think they'll be put?" Awakening from his trance, Harry replied, "well, I hope they'll be in Gryffindor. Imagine if they get put in Slytherin!" Ron glanced at Vegeta, who was surveying the hall with a disgruntled expression writ across his face, "I guess some of them would be right at home in Slytherin", he muttered quietly.  
  
"Would our guests please come forward to be sorted?" called Dumbledore, eyes meeting Goku's terminally confused stare. Stumbling to his feet, Goku clambered around the bench; Gohan, Goten, Trunks, Piccolo and Vegeta following in various states of confusion, apprehension and open disgust. Professor McGonagal brought out the battered old Sorting Hat, walking towards Goku. "Don't worry", she smiled at him, "just put on the hat and it'll tell you what house you belong in".  
  
Goku grabbed the Sorting hat and tentatively fitted it over his dense black spikes. The Saiyan gave a little yelp of surprise when a rusty voice in his ear screeched, "what ARE you?!" Goku was too stunned to answer, but the hat refrained from any other questions after the initial outburst. "Interesting, very unusual.you have the heart of a Gryffindor or a Hufflepuff, I'm not sure which to choose. Well, I think that since you're a martial artist Hufflepuff would be a bad choice, so you belong in GRYFFINDOR!" Heaving off the hat with a slightly dazed expression, Goku ambled over to the cheering Gryffindor table and recovered his place near Harry, Ron and Hermione.  
  
Gohan, Piccolo, Goten and Trunks all ended up in Gryffindor as well, although the Sorting hat did ponder over putting Trunks in Slytherin for a while until the demi Saiyan realised that he'd rather be in Gryffindor to spread trouble with Goten, than on his own spreading trouble in a different house. Finally it was Vegeta's turn. McGonagal handed the repulsed Saiyan the bedraggled hat and he stared at it contemptuously before grudgingly pulling it on. The hall was then deafened as the hat screamed, "GET THIS MADMAN AWAY FROM ME!! HELP, HE'S GOING TO.." the hat never got a chance to finish. Roaring in indignance, Vegeta ripped off the Sorting hat and disposed of it with a massive ki-blast. Dumbledore sat up in shock as assorted students screamed and attempted to bolt out of the exits. The Son family, Trunks and Piccolo sighed - they knew Vegeta wouldn't go much longer in this place without blowing SOMETHING up.  
  
McGonagal stared in open disbelief as Vegeta smirked in satisfaction at the small pile of ash that was once the Sorting hat. Regaining her shaky voice, McGonagal growled, "you belong in Slytherin beyond doubt".  
  
*  
  
**Back in the Dragonball Z world**  
  
Dende delved through the depths of his bedroom, searching furiously for his Orb. Aah, finally! Rolling a large, cracked glass sphere from under his bed, Dende dusted off a couple of cobwebs from the Orb's cloudy surface, picked it up and padded outside with it balanced in one hand. Taking up his favourite spot at the edge of the Lookout in his yellow deck-chair, Dende used a small amount of his Godly powers to make the Orb float comfortably at eye level. Grinning evilly, Dende placed a smooth green hand on the Orb's fingerprinted circumference and chanted the awakening command. Instantly the Orb fizzed into life, billowing out a picture of the Great hall and its inhabitants within the depths of the smoke. Dende sighed contentedly, mentally adjusting the volume control of the Orb before settling down for a period of good entertainment. He should sell this stuff to the movies; he'd make a fortune, not to mention ruin Gohan's life further. Hmmmm.maybe when they get back...  
  
Dende was just about to absorb himself completely in watching Gohan suffer when a ki signature surfaced into the young Kami's mind. Someone else was watching! But who? Dende was furious, how dare anyone else try to torture Gohan? That was HIS job and no one else's! Reaching out with all of his Namekian/Godly powers, Dende was going to make this invader pay...  
  
*  
  
The Supreme Kai gave a yelp of pain and surprise as he felt the traces of power latch onto him from where he sat at his desk, viewing Gohan's dilemma with suitable satisfaction for how much the demi-Saiyan had been annoying him lately. What was happening? Shin pushed against the tendrils of magical energy with his own brand of power, but it was no use. Whoever was attacking him was pouring absolutely everything into this move and Shin just wasn't motivated strongly enough to save himself. But who would attack him like this? As Supreme Kai, Shin had enemies, but very few of them had ever tried to attack him like this.  
  
Shin grappled with the energy waves furiously; gasping with effort, the little lavender-skinned God fought to escape the glowing bindings that were fixing around his mind. Shin dimly remembered that he should call Kibito for help, but he hadn't wiped his Viewing Orb clean - he could get into even worse trouble for interfering with the lives of mortals than whatever was happening to him now. The wave of energy increased and Shin decided to give up his fight, "KIBITO!!" But it was too late. No sooner had the pink giant bolted into the room than the Supreme Kai was gone. The Orb fell from its blue velvet cushion and shattered on the floor; its thousands of fragments mirroring Kibito's desperate search for his master.  
  
*  
  
The Great Hall had only just recovered from its last bout of astonishment when the new one began. From out of nowhere, a strange figure fell from the stormy ceiling and landed on Vegeta, knocking the Saiyan onto the ground and concussing him on the flagstone tiles. Gohan gave a yelp of horror; there was no mistaking that white Mohawk and purple skin, it was the Supreme Kai. Shin groaned in agony, stumbling to his feet and staring at Vegeta in confusion, "where am I?" Then it struck him. Well, actually Vegeta got there first, but it occurred to Shin that whoever had attacked him had brought him to the dimension that Gohan had gotten himself trapped in.  
  
Goku used Instant Transmission to stop Shin from flying straight through the opposite wall as Vegeta revived and kicked the Supreme Kai as hard as he could. "What are you doing here, Supreme Kai? Have you come to take us home?" Shin freed himself from Goku and dusted himself off, "those are very good questions, Goku, and I need answers for both of them as well."  
  
Gohan slapped his forehead in exasperation. So much for calling the Supreme Kai for help.  
I'm sorry it's taken so long to get this chapter up, please review!!! 


	5. Chapter 5

*cough* I think I owe everyone an apology for the severe delay.... what can I blame it on? Let's check the list -  
  
large amounts of homework  
  
large amounts of tests  
  
going away on holiday to France  
  
spending most of other time schooling horse  
  
suffering from writer's block  
  
being chronically lazy?  
  
Once again, I AM DEEPLY SORRY AND REGRETFUL AND THANKFUL FOR ALL YOU KIND READER'S FORGIVENESS AND PATIENCE FOR MY USELESS SELF!!!!!!!!!! Thank you for continuing to read my story and please review!!!!  
  
Ok, that's about all my excuses and with little further ado, I present *drum roll please* the next chapter!  
  
Disclaimer: it's that time again where I admit to the world that I do not own Dragonball Z or Harry Potter and am simply an escaped mental patient with nothing better to do with her spare time *sigh* Maybe if I ask nicely and clean my bedroom once in a while I might get one of them for Christmas?  
  
Shin - I doubt it...  
  
Wild-filly - Quiet! I'm trying to wallow in self-pity here and you're not helping!  
  
Shin - Well I'm the one who should be complaining; I thought I was your favourite character and now you've dragged me into this madness!  
  
Wild-filly - *pats Shin condescendingly on the head* Don't worry, Dende's going to cop it as well. Very soon in fact.  
  
Shin - O.o What's going to happen to him?  
  
Wild-filly - ^_^; Kibito's not very happy.  
  
Shin - Oh dear.. I just hope Dende has life insurance.  
  
Wild-filly - *shakes head sadly* I don't think there'll be much point since he probably won't survive.  
  
Shin - You're horrible, you know that?!  
  
Wild-filly - *proudly* ^_^ I know!  
  
Shin - haven't you anything better to do than ruin other people's lives?  
  
Wild-filly - *considers for a moment* nah, not really.  
  
Shin - -_-;; ever thought about doing your maths assignment instead?  
  
Wild-filly - O.o* I forgot about that. oh well, never mind.  
  
Shin - *sigh* at least I tried.  
  
**Chapter 5**  
  
While it would be fair to say that in the Harry Potter world things had gotten a little out of control, things weren't doing much better back in the Dragonball Z home either.  
  
"Where could they have gone?" pondered Krillen as he flopped unceremoniously on the familiar royal-blue couch. Bulma and Chi-Chi had screeched loud enough at the disappearance of their children that even if the remaining Z fighters hadn't bothered to sense the disappearance of the two Saiyans, three demi-Saiyans and Namekian, they would certainly have heard of the disappearance without the benefit of telepathy.  
  
Bulma paced the living room in confusion, kicking at the lurking piles of wrapping paper in frustration. "I have absolutely no idea where they could have gone.... none of my transportation inventions were activated, nobody blew apart the wall in order to get in or out and the front door, for once in it's life, has NOT been blown off its hinges by a certain Saiyan Prince who believes that life's too short for doorknobs".  
  
Chi-Chi stared mournfully around the strangely silent room, "whatever it is, it must have been serious; I mean, since when does Goku leave the vicinity of the kitchen when I'm cooking?!" Sliding into the depths of a nearby chair, decked out with sparkly Christmas paper, Chi-Chi's concerned gaze flashed into one of rage. "HOW DARE GOKU LEAVE LIKE THIS?! IT'S CHRISTMAS FOR DENDE'S SAKE, IT'S NO TIME TO TAKE THE BOYS OUT TO TRAIN!!!"  
  
Partially deafened and blasted off of the couch by Chi-Chi's sudden bellow, Krillen shakily pulled himself to his feet, "Chi-Chi, I don't sense Goku or Gohan ANYWHERE, so I don't think they're off training."  
  
Chi-Chi treated Krillen to a glare all to himself, "then what about the Time Chamber? Couldn't he have gone there?" Cringing under the intensity of the raven-haired woman's ire, Krillen blanched, "eh.... why don't we go see Dende and ask if he knows where they are?" Chi-Chi removed her glare, allowing Krillen to heave a sigh of relief; off the hook at last. Eyeing Chi-Chi apprehensively as the enraged woman stormed out of the room, searching for the keys to her aircar, Krillen felt exceptionally sorry for the husband and sons of the Son matriarch.  
  
Following Bulma, 18, Marron, Yamcha and Puar from the festively scruffy room, Krillen padded down the hallway, mentally preparing himself for the furious outburst that would come upon reaching the Lookout.  
  
*  
  
Trouble was not only on Earth though; as Kaioshin's sycophantic bodyguard was beside himself with fury. In his frantic search of the Supreme Deity's office, Kibito stumbled across the remains of the crystal Seeing-Orb literally. Skidding on the fragments of glass decorating the otherwise spotless tiled floor, Kibito growled and tentatively picked himself up again; face contorted partly with pain and partly with realisation as to what he had slipped on. Staring around the floor, his coal-black eyes took in the shards of priceless crystal all over the place - perhaps they could give him a clue as to his charge's whereabouts.  
  
Raising a massive pink hand to shoulder height, the aged bodyguard called a small amount of blue energy into the palm of his hand, murmuring an appropriate spell as the blue light flared with magical energy. The tongues of blue flame flew from the creature's hand and spread out around the room, seeking in every crevice as they pulled the mystical Orb together once again.  
  
Moments later, Kibito smiled in relief as the last chip in the irreplaceable Orb returned to its rightful home. Not a single crack was evident, which was just as well - Kibito still winced when he remembered the price of the wretched thing. Pressing his hand against the surface of the Orb, Kibito concentrated, calling on the magic within his mind to pull an image to the glittering surface. A picture fluttered into sight, still clouded by the comparatively weak magical energy of its new user. Kibito squinted painfully into the misty depths and have a gasp of horror as he saw what lay within.  
  
Dropping the Orb in complete and utter astonishment and fear, Kibito barely winced as the massive sphere shattered on his soft brown leather boots. How in the name of all things holy did his master end up in such a dimension? This was not good at all.... he was used to the Kai attempting to escape from his duties occasionally, but he had never gone so far as to leaving the dimension!  
  
Something was strange about the situation though....and he could sense the lingering tendrils of another being's magical energy. Squinting even harder into the murky image, Kibito gave a furious yelp as he recognised a certain teenaged demi-Saiyan. Dende! This must have been what Gohan had contacted his master for earlier, and now that he thought about it, there was a definite feel of Namekian powers.  
  
Scarlet with fury, the already intimidating bodyguard stormed through the maze of chambers that was the sacred palace on Kaioshinkai, coming to a halt on the smooth grass plains outside. Focusing his energy on Earth's Lookout, a semi-circle of blue light engulfed the giant and he vanished from the surface of the planet of the Kais. A little Namek was in a lot of trouble....  
  
***  
  
Dende smirked; serve the leech right, trying to steal HIS job. Nobody was allowed to torture Gohan but Dende - virtually every fanfiction author said so!  
  
Peering closer at his smudged, glass Orb, Dende moved in for a closer look as to exactly who had been spying on him. From where Goku was standing, he could just make out the tips of a white Mohawk and a green-blue outfit, complete with scarlet boots. "Hmmmmnnnnn.....", pondered Dende aloud, "where have I seen that hair before? And those weird clothes are kinda familiar as well..." Dende paled, "oh dear lord, what have I done?!"  
  
Staring in disbelief at the cracked glass surface, Dende began to shiver in fright as he realised that he had just transported the Supreme Ruling Deity of the Universe into an alternate dimension and also.... his humourless bodyguard was about to find out. Life was definitely NOT looking good.... worse still, Dende had absolutely no idea how to reverse the situation - he was relying on Gohan to figure that one out himself, while he, Guardian of Earth, lounged luxuriously on a deck chair sipping an icy Pina Colada.  
  
Time to abandon all godly dignity and run like a coward.  
  
*  
  
The occupants of the Great Hall were not having a good day; more than one houseful of students was going to be visiting the hospital wing for an anti- stress potion and by the way things were going, they wouldn't only be humans. Kaioshin cursed himself mentally, how did he just know something like this would happen?! The one time in his life he decided to have a little fun wrecking someone else's life was the day his own was thrown in the blender. He considered praying for a moment, but remembered just in time that HE was the high God and would only achieve appearing even stranger.  
  
Gohan trotted over; there was no sign of Kibito anywhere - not a good omen. 'I contacted you earlier, have you come to take us back?'  
  
Kaioshin coughed slightly, highly embarrassed; one did not spend millennia training to become supreme god of the universe and then be outwitted by a small, drunken Namekian child. 'I'm afraid not Gohan. I seem to also have been pulled into this dimension'.  
  
Gohan stopped; jaw dropping with disbelief. How could it be Dende if even the Supreme Kai had been pulled in? Perhaps he should be more careful before jumping to conclusions. 'Do you know who sent us here?'  
  
Kaioshin considered revealing the reason how he came to be here, but looking at the generally disgruntled expressions on the Saiyans and Namekian he concluded that this wouldn't be his wisest decision in history.  
  
'I am not entirely sure, but it may well have been some superior power'. There, a nice lie to cover up the whole embarrassing situation - not a chance in the world of it backfiring.  
  
From where he stood, in front of his headmaster's chair and wand drawn, flicking rainbow sparks in the air to recapture the school's attention, Dumbledore caught this shred of conversation. Lowering his wand and shuffling around Professor McGonagal, muttering instructions to herd the school to their dormitories and have the feast brought up to each common room, the aged wizard joined the huddled group of dimensional visitors. Goku looked up, 'hi!'  
  
Albus looked gravely into the grinning Saiyan's dark eyes, 'I fear that your friend's entry may bring ill tidings. I suggest that you all accompany me to my office. You too, Harry, Ron and Hermione'. Dumbledore smiled at the nervous adolescents standing to the side of the curious group. Harry, much to his own surprise, hadn't felt at all shocked at the sudden arrival of the newest visitor and had advanced while the majority of the population fled in terror.  
  
'I reckon it's amazing just what we get ourselves into, although I bet this is a new record for speed', muttered Ron into Harry's ear.  
  
**** 'I don't believe it! Where could they have gone?' growled Chi-Chi, towering over the terrified Dende.  
  
'I have no idea!' moaned the wretched Namekian, trying to shuffle out of range of the ferocious death glare that was threatening to pin him to the manicured flowerbeds. Kicking his hastily packed suitcase out of sight in what he hoped was a discreet fashion, Dende scrambled through his mind in search of an excuse to leave, but his blood ran cold as an electric blue orb of energy flashed into life at the entrance of the Lookout.  
  
'I'm really sorry Chi-Chi! But I have to go and..... look for them! Yeah, that's right!' Magnificent excuse Dende, you always were more intelligent than Piccolo. Turning away from the crimson woman who was slowly grinding her teeth in pent-up rage, Dende smiled the dazed grin of a human given death row pardon a minute before his execution. Gathering up his bag of godly possessions, Dende took off into the blissfully cool, free sky.  
  
Well.... he nearly made it, but one did not become the sworn protector of the Supreme Kai by slacking off in training. A dark shadow loomed over the fleeing Namek, blotting out the sun in a dramatic display of the youngster's doom. Dende felt the rippling air grow colder and looked resolutely at the ground flashing by.   
  
'Dende...' came a mutinous growl. The green guardian gave a woeful yelp of fear and sped faster. Maybe he should have told Chi-Chi the truth about what he did - at least then his death would have been swifter.  
  
****  
  
'His name is Voldemort, and he is the most powerful Dark Wizard of our time.'  
  
Goku looked confused. Goku was confused. 'what's a dark wizard?'  
  
Vegeta gave a contemptuous snarl, 'what do you think it means? It's one of those freaks with an attitude problem'. Harry couldn't help but feel that the spiky-haired alien needed to be a little more specific, as Voldemort was not the only candidate in the vicinity.  
  
'He is power-hungry, and this power has been growing substantially. If it is true that you are as powerful as you claim you are, then I believe that it is possible that he is the one who summoned you here to use as weapons.' The Supreme Kai's stomach twisted - this wasn't going well at all, at least now though there was a convenient evil being to shoulder the blame. How long before he was discovered as an associate though?  
  
Gohan sighed, 'I should have guessed it wasn't Dende, I mean, he's not THIS horrible to me usually'. Goku shook his head disapprovingly, 'now son, it's not polite to always be arguing with the Guardian of the Earth'.  
  
Goten and Trunks snickered evilly as they watched Gohan squirm in discomfort as Dumbledore, Harry, Ron and Hermione treated him to a calculating stare. Dumbledore cleared his throat, still watching Gohan carefully over his half-moon spectacles, 'either way, this is a serious situation and we have to take precautions that Voldemort was not the one who sent you here and cannot control your minds'.  
  
Goku blinked in confusion (as per usual), 'how can he control minds? Is it like Babidi and the Majins?' Vegeta growled irritably, 'that is none of your concern Kakarott, since you don't have a mind in danger of being controlled'.  
  
Goku turned his confused gaze to the glaring Saiyan prince as he pondered over a suitable answer to Vegeta's comment while his sons shot loathing expressions over their father's shoulder.  
  
So sorry that I didn't write more, but more is on the way very shortly! I am going to start updating more regularly and with longer chapters, so please review.. Even though I really don't think I deserve it after this hideously long break *puppy eyes* please? 


	6. Chapter 6

*sniff* you're all so kind... thanks to everybody who reviewed! Some quick messages first up though -  
  
Vampiric Entitie - I am deeply sorry if I have offended you in any way, but the truth is that I AM NOT DISSING VEGETA. He's my second favourite character and was my favourite not that long ago, but he's so much fun since he's naturally mean! Please forgive me if you take any of my wordings wrong - I don't purposely diss him, I give him some of the best insults and in turn he has to pay for them, although I never do anything that leaves lasting damage. *weak smile* forgive me?  
  
I am going on holiday soon and will not be updating for a couple of weeks, therefore this chapter has been done with much haste and I'm already starting the following! It's time to get my lazy self back into gear....  
  
Shin: Why am I still here?  
  
Wild-filly: if I have to keep writing and not cruise aimlessly through the internet then you're going to suffer too!  
  
Shin: Don't I suffer enough as it is?  
  
Vegeta: I could say the same as well you know  
  
Wild-filly: *sweat drop* ok I'll lay off a little.... now please drop those sharp objects  
  
Vegeta: *looks at choc-chip cookie* this?  
  
Wild-filly: yes that! I made it myself you know!  
  
Shin and Vegeta: *Drop cookies in horror and the rest of the Z team can be heard gagging in the next room*  
  
Wild-filly: *shakes head* there's a lot to be said for my cookery skills..  
  
Vegeta: Especially by the victims -_-*  
  
**Chapter 6**  
  
Dende whimpered pathetically, hoping to drive a little sympathy into the deadly furious bodyguard. No such luck. If anything the fury factor went up an octave.  
  
'Land RIGHT NOW, NAMEK!' bellowed Kibito in Dende's quivering ear. With a yelp Dende complied, jerking to a halt in mid air and hovering nervously, diligently avoiding eye-contact with everything but the confused humans scanning the skies below them. mumbled Dende to himself - he was going to be butchered in front of those he supposedly protected, guided and cared for. Not that any of those principles really applied here, it's just that he didn't want a huge crowd to view every detail of his undoing, especially since they were supposed to worship him.  
  
Grinding his teeth in pent up rage, Kibito struggled to control his voice - another roar like that would probably damage the Namekian's acute hearing, rendering him unable to hear any further abuse. 'Dende', he willed himself only to growl, 'what have you done with the Supreme Kai, and don't play innocent with me, I can recognise your ki signature. Where have you transported him?'  
  
Then Kibito realised - the Supreme Kai was not the only being missing from his ki readings. 'Where are the Saiyans? And the older Namek?'  
  
Dende sighed, somehow contriving to scuff his feet in mid air. 'I didn't mean any harm', he murmured, attempting to mimic the Son Puppy Eyes , 'I was just playing a joke on Gohan - I didn't mean to pull your master into it as well'.  
  
Kibito once again fought the urge to wring the trembling green creature's neck. Sympathy was not part of his training course. 'Where did you send them, Dende'. If that kid gave him one more pathetic answer and tried to sob his way to sympathy, Kibito was not going to be responsible or sorry for whatever bloodshed would come on the young Namek.  
  
Dende pondered over a lie... But decided that his life meant more to him. Avoiding eye-contact, Dende muttered something that Kibito couldn't quite catch.  
  
'What was that?' he growled dangerously, pinkish ears craning to catch the Namek's resentful answer. Dende looked up, eyes watery with a mixture of fear, horror, terror and nervous resentment, 'I said I sent them to another dimension. A different dimension of Earth.' Kibito released a deep breath. Must control bloodthirsty urges. Must control bloodthirsty urges. Must control bloodthirsty urges. Must control bloodthirsty urges. Oh who cares.....  
  
*  
  
'Voldemort threatens the very existence of wizardkind, he is practically unstoppable', said Hermione quietly to the confused Goku. Goku turned to the weary teenaged girl, 'I wasn't unsure about that, I just didn't get what Vegeta said'. The room's occupants including Vegeta all froze in horror that it was possible to be so deadly and yet so.... "innocent".  
  
'What should we do about it Professor?' queried Harry, 'I mean.... are you going to talk to the Order of the Phoenix?' Dumbledore stared levelly at the young wizards and witch, 'I need you three to keep a close watch on our guests and yes.... I will be speaking to the other aurors about this event.'  
  
Turning back to the now distinctly uncomfortable group of Z fighters, Dumbledore said, 'don't worry too much, the Order of the Phoenix is a group of elite witches and wizards whose' main goal is to eliminate Voldemort and his followers; the Death Eaters. I will consult them and build a guard that will protect you and work on sending you back home'.  
  
Piccolo sighed, he really shouldn't leave Dende unattended for so long - even though the young Namekian knew the rules, he was equally talented at breaking them. 'Is there any way that we could return home sooner?'  
  
Ron snorted incredulously, 'not unless he-who-mus...Voldemort is destroyed!' Much to the surprise of the wizards and witch, the Z team appeared to relax. 'Is that all?' said Goten in disbelief; Trunks wearing a similar look of confusion, 'why don't you just destroy him then? I mean, he's only human isn't he?'  
  
Harry shuffled from foot to foot, was Voldemort even human? How could any human delve so deeply into the Dark Arts and not become....different to others? His mental question was answered swiftly by Dumbledore.  
  
'Voldemort is human, but he has evoked many varieties of ancient magic that cannot be defeated by brute force. Harry Potter here, has faced Voldemort and was even responsible for his supposed "death" sixteen years ago, but even that did not stop his revival and clawing back to power'.  
  
Vegeta's eyes narrowed, scanning the apprehensive and more than slightly embarrassed Harry. A vein above his left eye twitched - he could not sense any great spiritual or physical power within the boy, yet something was definitely.... unusual. Glancing back at where Piccolo was conducting a similar test, the two caught eyes in silent agreement to watch this teenager carefully.  
  
Dumbledore stood up, gilded violet robe sweeping majestically behind him as he strode towards the door of the study, opening to admit Professors McGonagal, Snape and Flitwick. Murmuring swiftly under his breath, Dumbledore quickly brought them up to date with the new plans. Snape jerked, whether in apprehension fear or distaste Harry could not tell, and strode from the room, black cloak billowing out like an ill-tempered cloud. Professor McGonagal stepped forward, smiling nervously, 'I am the Head of Gryffindor house and will be making your timetables - if you wish to participate in school activities'. She was cut off by an enraged snort by the arrogant Saiyan prince.  
  
'Me? "participate in school activities"?! Wouldn't it be far easier if I just disposed of this lunatic you're so terrified of?' Vegeta was not impressed, and neither was Professor McGonagal. Drawing herself up haughtily, the elderly witch retorted, 'for one thing sir, I am NOT your house leader, Professor Severus Snape is. Secondly, I highly doubt that you are able to take down a murderous wizard, trained in unspeakable Dark Arts!'  
  
Vegeta nearly displayed a different variety of Dark Art in the form of Final Flash until he was nearly flattened by his son and Goten. 'Stupid brats!' he roared, trying and failing to fling them off, but both the chibis had been practising on Gohan - and on they clung, screeching their objections.  
  
'Leave her alone Dad! Listen to them!' Vegeta nearly transformed all the way to SSJ 4 in fury - he was being contradicted by everyone, including his own offspring. Kaioshin sensed an explosion coming and sprang to Vegeta's side, prying Trunks and Goten from the thoroughly pissed-off Saiyan. 'You can go after the wizard after you learn more of their craft!' cried the Supreme Kai, breaking free from the standard monotone as the risk that the office would be blasted into miniscule portions by the SSJ transformation hit home. 'Know thine enemy, Vegeta.... you know that!'  
  
The golden sparks flaring on the limbs of the dignified Saiyan prince died down, the emerald flashes that had been flickering through his eyes subsided and Vegeta gave a growl of disgust, flinging the two boys from his arms contemptuously. Goten was safely caught by Goku, who was debating whether or not to step in and stop the enraged prince, while Trunks went sailing into the tiny Professor Flitwick, together cutting a path through Dumbledore's extensive collection of wizarding equipment.  
  
Vegeta gave a cough of would-be embarrassment, regaining his dignity and son from the wreckage. Gohan massaged his temples vigorously, Letting out a hesitant chuckle, Gohan reached back to scratch his neck in the classic Son pose, 'ummmm... when do we start?'  
  
*  
  
Dende gave a moan of agony, spitting out a mouthful of purple blood. In actuality he had not been hurt severely at all, but Dende always loved human soap-operas - if there was a chance to be dramatic, seize it. Kibito had teleported back to KaioshinKai in disgust, taking Dende's prized (albeit ill-treated and dusty) Viewing Orb with him - supposedly to "keep him out of trouble until a more fitting punishment comes up". Dende stifled a cynical snort, yeah, as if old fossil-features would remember that. As soon as he got the Supreme Kai back to stalk and control the life of he would forget all about little-ol' Dende.  
  
The young Namek grinned evilly, absentmindedly casting a healing light over himself and straightening his formal white robes and marron overcoat. Honestly, if Kibito had hit him a little bit harder, he may have had to clean grass stains from the fabric. Dende shuddered - not even his powers could master the Art of Laundry.  
  
Leaping back into the thermals of the bright blue sky, Dende ignored the cluster of amazed humans that had gathered below him - some screaming about aliens and others just screaming. Jumping into full flight speed, Dende headed back to the Lookout - time to feed the rest of the Z morons errrr.. Team a little story about how this was all Gohan's fault. Now where had he put that spare Viewing Orb....  
  
*  
  
Kibito tore frantically through the massive books and mouldering scrolls that lined the legendary library in the Supreme Kai's palace. Nothing! Nothing that could help him bring back his master, except maybe the Elder Kai... No. Kibito shuddered; although he would never speak ill of any of the Supreme Kais, that old... weirdo was disgusting.  
  
The ancient bodyguard sighed, chucking the last scroll back into its silvery marble shelf - time called for desperate measures.  
  
Thanks so much for reading! Please review! As a special treat I'm giving out cookies and advertising to everybody who reviews!  
  
Shin: Pathetic really  
  
Wild-filly: Quiet in the cheap seats over there.... 


	7. Chapter 7

Wild-filly: I'm BAAACCK!!! Did you miss me?  
  
*crickets chirp*  
  
Wild-filly: wonderful.. just wonderful, I feel so unappreciated.  
  
Supreme Kai: I wonder why..  
  
Wild-filly: who gave you permission to speak?  
  
*all other characters raise their hands and glare at author*  
  
Wild-filly: Oh well, ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer..  
  
Yami Bakura: Get on with it, foolish mortal!  
  
Wild-filly: Bakura? Wrong fic I'm afraid - this is a Harry Potter/Dragonball Z crossover, not Yu-Gi-Oh!  
  
Yami Bakura: Why am I here then?  
  
Yugi, Yami Yugi, Ryou Bakura, Malik, Marik, Seto Kaiba, Mokuba Kaiba, Pegasus: And us?  
  
Wild-filly: -_-* good question - you are all now honorary muses.  
  
All YGO cast: NOT A CHANCE!!  
  
Wild-filly: very good chance I'm afraid - unless you can destroy the magic keyboard AND create a plot for this fic, then you are trapped here forever! *evil laughter*  
  
All DBZ/HP/YGO: can we call our lawyers?  
  
Disclaimer: Don't own, but have abducted until I get a plot ^_^ but still don't own..  
  
Yugi: -_-* this is a very cruel and unusual punishment  
  
Yami: AS THE PHARAOH I ORDER YOU TO LET US LEAVE!  
  
Wild-filly: -_-* like that's going to work...  
  
***Chapter 7***  
  
Professor McGonagal gave a slight smile, 'you can join Potter, Granger and Weasleys' classes for now. I believe you three have Care of Magical Creatures now?'  
  
Hermione nodded in configuration, 'but what about wands?' 'You will all be given some spare wands on loan from the school', replied Flitwick, using his own wand to rebuild Dumbledore's shattered display cabinet.  
  
Goku gave his standard, cheerful grin, 'thanks!' Goten and Trunks exchanged glances, what would they do? Risk learning something, or make the most of the opportunity to learn new ways of causing trouble? Tough choice...  
  
Foraging through Dumbledore's highly-polished desk, McGonagal heaved out a pile of slim, battered boxes. Handing one to each of the bemused Z fighters, she drew out her own wand, 'open the boxes, hold your wand like this and try to make sparks shoot out from the tip'.  
  
Watching the uncomfortable visitors with fascination, Harry darted forward towards Goku, 'other way up!' 'Huh?' replied Goku, shooting sparks towards himself, causing the front of his orange training gi to catch alight with emerald green sparks, 'YAH!'  
  
Hermione moved forward and extinguished the sparks with a casual flick of her wand, whilst Vegeta barely concealed a contemptuous grin. Slightly agitated by his father's accident, Gohan cautiously reversed his own wand tip and concentrated, . To his amazement, the tip of the slightly chipped, beech wand released a delicate waterfall of sapphire flames, as McGonagal watched with obvious approval. 'You seem to have a talent for this, my friend'. Gohan blushed as his younger brother and Trunks giggled.  
  
Goten glared at his own wand, The wand burst into flame and fluttered to the ground in a sorrow little pile of ashes. 'Oops, wrong kind of sparks', grinned Goten sheepishly. Trunks wasn't having much more luck. Flitwick sighed and replaced their wands, 'please try to have more respect for school property boys. Sparks and fire are DIFFERENT things'. This time both the boys performed the spell properly, smug expressions writ clearly over their faces.  
  
Piccolo and Vegeta hadn't the slightest problems with the task, to no great surprise of the other fighters. Vegeta gave an arrogant smirk as a miniature golden fireball engulfed one of the candles floating gently in mid air. The Supreme Kai however, stared at the coppery wand with the expression of one who has just been given training wheels on a motorbike.  
  
'Is there a problem....sir?' queried McGonagal, mentally questioning herself as to how one DID address a vertically challenged, purple elf creature. Kaioshin looked up in surprise, 'do I need to use this piece of wood? Or can I just use my own powers normally?' McGonagal was taken aback, 'can you show me what you mean?' The deity gave a brief smile, his gaze flickering for a moment and left hand gesturing slightly. In a flash of silver sparks, a floating ball of reflective molten silver appeared just before him. The candlelight dappling off its surface and speckling the walls of the room like a disco ball.  
  
Flitwick fixed the Supreme Kai with an intrigued stare, 'are you capable of doing any other variation of magic?' The purple deity felt a slight pang of annoyance, 'I am the Supreme Kai, the Supreme Overseer of the Universe from which we come. There is comparatively little that I cannot do with my magic'. Taken aback, McGonagal fixed Kaioshin with her own stare, 'would you be able to teach, rather than learn in that case?'  
  
Now it was Kaioshin's turn to be taken aback, 'teach what?' Gohan grinned, 'why don't you teach about magical artefacts? Remember the Z sword and the Potara earrings'. McGonagal nodded, 'we could arrange for you to teach this type of magic if you wish'. What could he do? 'I thank you', replied the Supreme Kai, 'I shall preform this task to the best of my abilities'.  
  
***  
  
Kibito marched down the winding, creamy stone passageways to the chambers where the Elder Kai had requested to take up residence. Requested was putting it politely. Barging in complaining of his younger counterpart's incompetence and the lack of respect for the aged was closer to the truth. Ever polite, the Supreme Kai had offered Rou-Kaioshin some of the finest quarters in the temple and attempted to steer clear of the area as much as physically possible.  
  
Kibito shuddered, he could hear the old fool crowing over yet another fitness program. Sending out a flicker of magical energy, he caused the contraband television set to short-circuit just before he knocked tentatively on the richly gilded marble door. There was a jumble of ungodly cursing, eventually followed by 'come in! Cheap piece of junk...'  
  
Gingerly weaving his way through piles of discarded magazines, magical apparatus and dishes, Kibito located the ancient Kai in front of the TV set; pounding furiously on the screen. 'Stupid, lousy... Yes Kibito, what is it?' The Elder Kai did not even turn around from his losing battle of wits with the lifeless, and by now, battered television set.  
  
Coughing slightly in disgust at the "respectable" Kai's antics, Kibito plunged ahead, 'sir, the Supreme Kai is missing'. No response. Kibito glanced up from the floor, where he was attempting to avoid witnessing some of the posters that the old fool had placed on the otherwise beautifully designed walls. 'Sir?' Rou-Kaioshin was completely ignoring him.  
  
'Sir? Your descendant is missing!' barked Kibito more earnestly. Finally the Elder Kai looked up, 'what was that?' 'THE SUPREME KAI IS MISSING!' Kibito snapped furiously, dropping all pretence of dignity. Rou-Kaioshin blinked, perplexed, 'how? Isn't it your job to make sure this kind of thing doesn't happen?'  
  
Kibito resisted a snarl; today was not the right day for patronising comments. Gritting his teeth in impatience, Kibito growled, 'he was drawn in through a magical field by Dende. He is trapped in another dimension!' The Elder Kai glared, 'you mind your temper there, youngster, I know what's happening. So if my descendant is gone, who's looking after the universe?'  
  
The penny dropped for the second time this fic. 'Oh bugger'.  
  
*** Dende sipped a new Pina Colada with relish, sprawled out on his favourite deckchair. Not only had he located a spare Viewing Orb, but also a special Danger-Detector; perfect for warning him of Kibito's return, or worse, Chi- Chi's discovery. Eyeing the Orb smugly as the little green Guardian witnessed the Z fighters and their new consorts exit the bearded weirdos office and disperse into different areas of the castle, Dende felt a brief tug of annoyance. 'Wonderful', he growled, 'Kibito took my headphones for the Orbs... can I lip read?' Examining the scene below, where Goku appeared to have gotten lost on the way to class and was heading for the kitchens at full speed, Dende tried his luck. Nothing. Perfect.  
  
Reluctantly abandoning his comfortable chair, bathing in the gentle sunlight of the mid afternoon, Dende took off into the shining blue skies. Now where could he find a lip-reading class on this backward planet quick enough....  
  
***  
  
Wild-filly: chapter long enough? I wrote all this just right now *inhale exhale* my poor back aches...  
  
*crickets chirp*  
  
Wild-filly: *glares* this lot couldn't find sympathy in a dictionary  
  
Yugi: *chokes*  
  
Gohan: No! Stay away from those choc-chip cookies!  
  
Goku: Even I can't stomach them!  
  
Ron: Poor guy..  
  
Wild-filly: -_-* I need some allies here... please review! 


	8. Chapter 8

Wild-filly: ^_^ yay! Cookies other than my own poisonous creations!!! Special thanks to El Loco Uno for this kind donation and everyone else who reviewed, especially to GuseBat - the first one to respond and say they were allied with ME ^_________^  
  
Kaioshin: Oh the horror... why did you all have to go and encourage her?!  
  
Vegeta: if you want support, then quit annoying us and write this stupid chapter - the quicker you finish this pathetic excuse for fanfiction, the quicker we can escape.  
  
Wild-filly: Yay! Support from the cast! Sort of... but either way, celebrate!!!!!!  
  
Bakura: I'm not so sure that the others are being very supportive  
  
Wild-filly: Don't worry about that, who do I have on my side, besides my beloved reviewers?  
  
Bakura: *backs away from pointed glare being directed at him* uhhhhh.... me, Vegeta, Kaioshin and possibly my Yami. I'm afraid that he appreciates evil schemes like this...  
  
Wild-filly: Oh, I'm pretty sure Yugi will join the dark side as well  
  
Bakura: What makes you say that?  
  
*author holds up the Millennium Puzzle, evil grin writ across her face*  
  
Kaioshin: O.O are you sure that's a good idea?  
  
Wild-filly: no, but this is going to serve for bribery....  
  
Yugi: WHERE'S MY PUZZLE??!!  
  
Wild-filly: time to run.... on with the fic!  
  
***Chapter 8***  
  
'Hmmmm... I could have sworn they went down this way', pondered Goku, who was hopelessly lost having stopped momentarily to stare at Nearly-Headless Nick. The Saiyan was now wandering aimlessly down the corridors, having decided against blasting through the castle walls to locate his offspring and the rest of the group. A colourful painting caught the fighter's eye, it was a picture of a large bowl of fruit.  
  
Pausing to gaze longingly at the inedible delicacies, Goku noticed something strange about the light green pear near the centre of the painting. Reaching out curiously, as the Saiyan's fingers brushed the canvas, the painting contorted and a light green handle burst from where the pear had once been. With a yelp of shock, Goku shot backwards, accidentally taking out a nearby cabinet at the same time. 'How did that happen?'  
  
Eyes darting nervously, Goku hoped no one had witnessed him "break" the picture. Grabbing the handle and attempting to push it back into the frame, the painting suddenly swung inwards, revealing a warm chamber. The aroma of cooking struck Goku like several tons of bricks; he was HUNGRY. Sticking a spiky-haired head around the frame, Goku called out, 'is anyone there?'  
  
'Hello sir! Dobby is very happy to see you!' Came the welcoming reply as Dobby the house elf hurried over to where the more-bemused-than-normal Saiyan was debating his next course of action. 'Errrr....hi!' answered Goku, 'do you have any food around here? I'm starving!' Dobby's golf-ball eyes lit up with excitement, 'yes sir! Come this way sir!' Leaping ahead happily, Dobby lead Goku into the depths of the magical kitchen, where he was greeted by the entire staff. 'Nice to see you all!' grinned Goku, eyeing the pile of food that was being complied on the caramel-oak table behind the smiling and bowing house elves. 'Is all that for me?'  
  
The house elves nodded in delight, 'make yourself at home sir!' squeaked Dobby. Goku eyed the ever-increasing pile of food, a look of utter joy on his face, 'I've died and gone to heaven..... again'.  
  
***  
  
'Where's dad?' queried Goten to his older brother. 'Huh?' replied Gohan, halting in his tracks, 'oh no, where could he have gone?' Vegeta snorted, 'trust that third-class fool to get lost in the five minutes he has to walk in something remotely resembling a maze. Probably stuffing his face somewhere'. Gohan glared at the Saiyan prince, yet slightly figured that this was the most likely explanation. Harry shook his head, 'don't worry, we'll find him!' Hermione looked horrified, 'but we'll be late for Care of Magical Creatures! We can't start off on the wrong foot this year!'  
  
Gohan smiled, 'I'm sure dad will be fine, I don't want to make you late'. Piccolo eyed his former pupil with bleak understanding; Chi-Chi had drilled THAT particular rule into Gohan VERY well. Breaking into a jog, Hermione lead the way out of the castle and into the vast grounds; headed towards the group of students massing around Hagrid's hut.  
  
Judging by the mixed expressions of terror and morbid fascination, Harry's heart sank; just what had Hagrid brought to class this year?? Gohan noticed the less-than-cheerful expressions on their guides' faces 'is something wrong?'  
  
Ron's freckles stood out even more clearly than usual on his suddenly paled face, 'uh.... I'm afraid that our teacher has a rather dangerous taste in subject matter for care of magical creatures'. Trunks gave a smirk so remisant of Vegeta that Gohan and Piccolo turned away with a slight shudder. Goten looked delighted, 'd'you mean dragons??? I LOVE dragons!!!!!'  
  
Harry, Ron and Hermione exchanged similar looks of horror; the last thing Hagrid needed was encouragement to get ANOTHER dragon!  
  
Standing head and shoulders over the nervous crowd, the towering bulk that was Hagrid noticed the strangers accompanying Harry, Ron and Hermione, and regarded them with great curiosity. 'Hey there you three, who're your friends?'  
  
After some quick introductions and a brief explanation as to just why the strangers who had disrupted breakfast so badly had turned up in Hagrid's class, Hagrid smiled amicably at his new "students" and beckoned them around a sturdy metal crate that was in the middle of the apprehensive circle of pupils.  
  
The massive box gave a violent shudder, and a nasty shrieking like someone dragging their nails (or claws) down a metal pole rang through the cringing group. Most of the students were exchanging mournful glances. Hagrid was beaming. Striding forward over to the solid box, Hagrid heaved back an intricate series of bolts as the class stepped back; the Z fighters eyed the box with a mixture of apprehension and fascination.  
  
There was a vicious snarl as Hagrid heaved back the reinforced steel door and released the creature within. Lunging out of its confines, talons out stretched and wings flared, the young dragon was checked backwards by the heavy chain around its crimson neck. The class leapt backwards, murmuring in awe while Hagrid's eyes became watery with adoration as the golden- fringed dragonling attempted to savage his leg.  
  
'This is a Japanese Inferno Dragon, a cousin of the Chinese Fireball which you would have seen at the Triwizard Tournament. Beautiful creatures, aren't they?' Gohan stared at the thrashing dragon as it tore mercilessly at Hagrid's right boot with murderous intent; if Hagrid thought that the dragon was beautiful during his own assault, then the dragon was beautiful, no further questions.  
  
Shaking out the chain and diverting the Labrador-sized dragon's attention away from Hagrid's now-exposed leg, the elegantly plumed reptilian snarled at the crowd of onlookers, spitting a mouthful of flame at the mesmerized Goten. The students let out a shriek of horror as the little boy was engulfed in the fiery blast, but the shriek turned to one of amazement when the smoke cleared to reveal a slightly sooty, but unscathed Goten.  
  
Blinking slightly, the young demi-Saiyan laughed and grabbed the dragon by the tail, pulling it into a hug as one would a disgruntled cat. Hagrid stared in amazement as the dragon fought and then appeared to give in. 'That's incredible', he said in a proud voice, 'you certainly have a way with magical creatures... Goten'. Goten let go of the heartily embarrassed dragon, 'we have a bigger dragon at home, but niisan says I can't play with him'.  
  
Hagrid's eyes lit up, 'what kind of dragon?' The Z team turned to look at Piccolo questioningly. Piccolo glared back, 'what?'  
  
Vegeta snorted, 'baka, you BUILT that dragon, remember?!' Piccolo fixed the Saiyan prince with a loathing glare, 'KAMI built the dragon, he didn't make it any set breed. Either way, I don't like to tap into Kami's memory all that often'.  
  
Hagrid blinked, deciding to abandon the topic, 'ok, now who can name the differences between the Japanese and Chinese dragons? Yes, Hermione....'  
  
***  
  
Soaring over West City, Dende consulted the yellow pages he had found conveniently stashed under his bed. 'Yep, there's the lip-reading clinic, right next to that bar......' Dende pondered to himself, hovering in midair. After being beat up by Kibito, didn't he deserve a medicinal drink? Those Pina Coladas and eggnog seemed so far in the past...  
  
'I deserve a drink', confirmed Dende out loud, 'just one though, I still need to catch up on watching other peoples' problems'.  
  
'Hic...must...get...home' Dende swayed and fell off the barstool, clattering onto the greasy floor into a moaning heap. The barman looked up from the glass he was smearing with a sodden rag, peering over the counter to stare at the groaning God on the tiles. 'Look buddy, you can't drive home while you're that drunk - call a cab or something', shaking his head in disbelief, 'I don't think an immortal could have knocked back all those spirits and still be breathing.... let alone sober enough to drive'. Dende staggered to his feet, clutching at his head, 'I swear to drunk I'm not god!'  
  
With that inspiring outburst, the little green Guardian collapsed back onto the wonderfully soft floor.  
  
***  
  
Kaioshin followed Professor McGonagal into the staffroom, she smiled briefly at him, 'I have to go teach now. If you speak to the teachers off duty at the moment, they'll show you what classroom you can use and provide any equipment you may need'. 'Thank you madam', replied the Supreme Kai, ever courteous as his mind blindly panicked.   
  
Pushing open the heavy wooden door, the depressed purple deity glanced around the room to the see the least helpful teachers in the whole facility. Professors Binns and Snape.  
  
***  
  
Wild-filly: amazing - something vaguely resembling a cliffhanger, I'm impressed.  
  
Kaioshin: weren't you trying to keep that strange pyramid necklace away from one of the other muses?  
  
Wild-filly: still am  
  
Kaioshin: how?  
  
*wild-filly is standing with one arm stretched in the air, clasping the Millennium Puzzle in said hand. Yugi is attempting to grab the Puzzle, but is unfortunately vertically challenged*  
  
Wild-filly: this grows tiresome, can't you try a more original way of getting the Puzzle back?  
  
Yugi: *stops jumping and glares* YAMI!!!!!!!!!  
  
Yami: What's wrong?  
  
Yugi: The author stole my Puzzle!  
  
Yami: LEAVE MY HIKARI ALONE, THAT'S MY HOME YOU'RE DANGLING IN THE AIR!!!!!!!  
  
Yami Bakura: the Puzzle?! IT'S MINE!!!!!  
  
Marik: MINE!!!!!  
  
*all three yamis lunge for the Millennium Puzzle, author ducks for cover and the Puzzle goes flying. The yamis crash into each other headfirst and land in a concussed heap on the floor. Yugi retrieves the Puzzle and attempts to revive his yami*  
  
Kaioshin: -_-* when they wake up, you will regret this you know  
  
Wild-filly: *glares* why do you think I'm packing?!  
  
Note: I do not mean to bash any characters in either my disclaimers or fic - I don't hate any of these characters, but I like to annoy them ^_^  
  
Please review!!!!  
  
I also recommend that you read "When a Spoof Threatens, Run For Your Lives!" by Darkness Eternal - a very funny parody of MacBeth written by a friend of mine. I also recommend reading the works of El Loco Uno, Krazed Kaioshin Fangirl, Gusebat, DBZandCharmedrule, calikocat, Shian, Lost-Saiyan- Warrior, The Freaky Clique, gimeGohan, hAdOwCat, Eclipse75, Skye-Chan1, Axis-the-galacticoutlaw, ArchAngal William, Saia, Lightning Goddess, LadyShin, Niori, Kewla, shadow_lancer, Ss JK, Wolf Lupin, Dazcha Vegeta-Briefs, gaul2000, Sarah Buu, and Katt7  
  
Thanks also to all of my anonymous reviewers - cookies for all!!!! 


	9. author note

Wild-filly: *sigh* I've been going so well with not one author note, but finally I have one *shakes head dejectedly*  
  
Kaioshin: -_-* it barely even qualifies for an author note!  
  
Wild-filly; *glares* I know, but still! It's a momentous occasion for me as an author!  
  
All muses: *howl with laughter*  
  
Wild-filly: *glare intensifies*  
  
Kaioshin: just get on with it, they'll stop laughing eventually....... maybe  
  
Wild-filly: right, I just want to say that I found some mistakes in chapter 8 and had to de-upload it and upload the edited version *teary eyes* unfortunately I have also lost some reviews as a result......  
  
*author collapses into a sobbing pile on Kaioshin's shoulder, Kaioshin looks horrified and is slowly bending at the knees as the author is more than slightly taller than him*  
  
Kaioshin: wild-filly, get a grip on yourself!  
  
Wild-filly: *sniff*  
  
Kaioshin: -_-*  
  
Wild-filly: *regains slight control and stands up again, Kaioshin backs hurriedly out of collapsing range* I just wanted to apologise to those wonderful reviewers whose work I have lost as a result of my own bad grammer.  
  
*author spies Kaioshin out of the corner of her eye and collapses at just the right angle to send him flying into a pile of books*  
  
Kaioshin: X_X  
  
Wild-filly: serves him right for not offering much sympathy -_-*  
  
*all other muses are still laughing* 


	10. Chapter 9

Wild-filly: Thank you once again to all of the wonderful reviewers!!! And I have some fascinating news........ I have discovered *drum roll* a plot!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
All muses: *keel over in shock whilst author is standing like an overly enlightened dramatic poet*  
  
Ryou Bakura: *staggers to his feet* didn't you promise to let us go after you found a plot?  
  
*Yu-Gi-Oh! characters surround computer hopefully whilst Dragonball Z and Harry Potter cast grumble about unfairness and being more deserving of freedom*  
  
Wild-filly: change of mind I'm afraid *grins evilly*  
  
*evil grin turns to one of horror as the Yu-Gi-Oh! characters' expressions change from hopeful to murderous, the yamis suddenly recall their grudge*  
  
Wild-filly: however, thanks to the VERY kind El Loco Uno, all of you now have Pepsi to enjoy with the cookies ^_______^  
  
All cast/muses: -_-*  
  
Marik, Yami Bakura: DIIIIIIIEEEEEE!!!!!!!! *Marik transforms the Millennium Rod into the dagger, author pales and bolts as Yami Bakura opens a gateway into the Shadow Realm*  
  
Wild-filly: O.O KAIOSHIN DO SOMETHING!!!!!!!!!  
  
Kaioshin: ^_^ wild-filly does not own Harry Potter, Dragonball Z or any of the Yu-Gi-Oh! cast she is currently terrorising. Thanks to El Loco Uno and Gusebat, all she owns is a crate of Pepsi, a bag of cookies and a Special Edition DBZ Blooper reel..... which I am still yet to discover the use of and manipulate to aiding the torture of the author  
  
Wild-filly: I MEANT HELP ME, NOT DO THE STUPID DISCLAIMER!!!!!  
  
Kaioshin: -_-* you could have been more specific  
  
*author manages to scramble out of the Shadow Realm using "Completely- Unfair-and-Unoriginal-Author-Magic" whilst Yami Bakura and Marik are busy arguing over who gets to kill wild-filly*  
  
Wild-filly: *glares at cast* places you lot, and on with the chapter! *stalks off muttering incomprehensibly*  
  
***Chapter 9***  
  
Snape jerked his head up irritably as the door swung open, believing that it was yet another lost or incompetent student come to disturb one of his only pupil-free hours. As the admittedly short shadow of the Supreme Kai cast down on the beaten stone floor, Snape's spirits rose slightly - an unwary student, he could yell at them for some amusement during this admittedly rather dull free session. As he watched the figure step tentatively flame-lit staffroom, Snape's spirits sank back to their original frigid state. Upper lip curling slightly in distaste, Snape glared at the extremely uncomfortable little purple elf and returned to his edition of Potions Monthly.  
  
Kaioshin eyed the hazy Professor Binns, who was snoring placidly in the furthest corner away from the door, in front of the fireplace. Returning his nervy gaze to the greasy-haired human who seemed to exude unwelcomeness, the Supreme Kai pondered over performing some highly complex and illegal magic in order to get back into his own dimension, rather than disturb either of these two. Mind you, Kaioshin sighed openly; if he managed to perform the ritual perfectly, he would be left with several millennia of Kibito and the Elder Kai shrieking obscenities at him for tearing the fabric of reality. Honestly..... those two always got so worked up over such small details.  
  
Regaining a more regal composure, the Supreme Kai hovered over to where Snape was sitting, pretending to ignore the unusual "visitor". With a slight cough, Kaioshin spoke, 'excuse me sir, could you please tell me what classrooms are free?' As the little deity watched the potions teacher carefully, he was intrigued to feel a definite increase in the level of hostility the human was exuding. ~remarkable~ thought Kaioshin in a rather morbid mood ~most creatures rely on eye-contact to convey such dislike for another's presence~.  
  
Avoiding eye contact, Snape jerked the chair backwards and slowly stood up, towering head, shoulders and most of torso over the intimidated deity. Sneer etching an even deeper curve on the potions master's face, he replied 'I daresay you would appreciate being shown the way? As you no doubt have not learned enough about the castle to avoid losing your way within three seconds?'  
  
Kaioshin blinked in surprise; he had rarely been exposed to such rudeness **A/N: wild-filly: ^_^ see? It's in the best interest of your mental health that I annoy and insult you occasionally. Kaioshin: *glares and ignores author* ** 'Thank you, Professor Snape. I am also grateful that you did not mistake me for some unfortunate student', replied Kaioshin in clipped tones. The slight widening of the smug human's eyes gave the Supreme Kai knowledge that the human did not understand the majority of the God's powers, especially not the ability to read minds. Sighing in relief mentally that the magical powers of the people here where not as acute as his own, the deity met the slightly-rattled Snape's eyes and followed him out of the staffroom, down the winding corridor towards the Transfiguration department.  
  
***  
  
Kibito stared hopelessly at the stacks of paperwork and complex golden measuring devices that littered the Supreme Kai's desk and surrounding tables. The Elder Kai was snoring loudly in Kibito's master's chair; reclined back and murmuring obnoxiously in his sleep. With a shudder, Kibito shook his head. There was no way he could run the universe without the proper training. The snoring old fool had declared that technology had advanced too far for him to operate the new devices without causing serious damage to the fabric of reality.  
  
Glaring at the drooling disgrace for a Kai, Kibito wondered if the Elder was really being serious or just lazy - after all, the old Kai HAD had a considerably longer life than most creatures in the universe so universal destruction wouldn't concern him all that much. Returning his gaze to the whirring, whining instruments on the desk in front of him, Kibito flickered blue and then disappeared from sight. The only other being in the universe that may have a clue about how to operate these tools would be the Grand Kai. Let's hope he wasn't throwing another stupid disco again....  
  
***  
  
Goku emerged for air, gasped a breath and then dived once again into the generous pile of food that the house-elves had provided. The astonished elves were standing well back; torn between fretting that this guest was steadily eating his way through the castle's entire food stock for the school year, or being delighted that someone was so obviously enjoying their cooking. Indeed, the only time the "famished" visitor stopped eating was to pause for breath or momentarily choke. At this rate, there wouldn't even be enough food for the students' lunch, let alone the rest of the year.  
  
Dobby was nominated by the anxious crowd of elves to catch the gorging Saiyan's attention. 'Sir?' he squeaked nervously.  
  
Goku's brain took a full three minutes to register that someone had spoken to him. Lifting his head out of the massive bowl of rice, he searched for the speaker, until spotting the edgy elf behind a glistening cooked ham. 'Sorry about that. What's wrong?'  
  
Dobby shuffled awkwardly through the pile of discarded plates and wrappers into hearing range. The Saiyan's mouth was still very much stuffed full and his speech was unintelligible. 'Sir, won't the people you came to the castle with be looking for you?'  
  
Goku leapt to his feet in horror, 'oh no! I forgot all about them!' Tearing out of the kitchens at an incredible turn of speed, Goku left the bewildered elves behind with hastily called thanks.  
  
***  
  
Harry turned to Gohan as they walked back up to the castle, 'how did you enjoy your first class here?' Gohan grinned back, 'it was great, what do we have next?'  
  
Hermione delved into her book bag, rummaging through sheaths of paper and quills in her search for her timetable. 'We have...... potions'. Harry and Ron let out a devastated groan in perfect unison.  
  
Gohan looked puzzled, 'what's wrong with potions?' Ron stared gloomily at the passage down to the dungeons which they had by now navigated their way to. 'Haven't you seen Snape before? He's the Potions Master. That's all the reason you need'.  
  
Vegeta's eyes narrowed and a slight smirk played across his face. He had been meaning to pay the obnoxious teacher a visit anyway.  
  
Trunks and Goten exchanged glances. A temperamental teacher? Perfect for annoying..... Let the evil plotting begin.  
  
***  
  
Kaioshin stared into the dank classroom he had been led to. Snape jerked his head in the room's direction, 'that's the classroom you'll use'. With that pleasant note, he stalked off with his long black cloak fluttering out behind him. The little purple deity watched him leave, shaking his head in chagrin. That was some attitude - almost as bad as Vegeta!  
  
Shuffling into the dark, unkempt room, the Supreme Kai cast a critical eye over the battered desks, chairs and impressive mountains of dust and rubbish. The deity's eyes flashed silver and instantly the room was bathed in shimmering silver light. When the pale mist cleared, the mutilated furniture had vanished, replaced instead by lush grass similar to that from KaioshinKai. A miniature waterfall bubbled into a snaking stream that wormed its way all the way to the original place of the teacher's desk. Several willowy trees had taken root along the walls. ~All in all, an improvement~ thought Kaioshin to himself in satisfaction.  
  
Looking up at the ceiling, the deity once again concentrated his magical energy, forming a small, silvery orb of light. Casting the orb into the air, it hovered at the ceiling's highest point, serving as a miniature sun.  
  
A cloak rustled behind him, and the Supreme Kai turned around, discovering to his surprise that a sizeable group of students had been watching the entire process with fallen jaws. Kaioshin sweat-dropped slightly as the students didn't even seem to notice his attention turn to them and continue to stare awe-struck at the remodelled classroom.  
  
After five minutes of this uncomfortable silence, Kaioshin had had enough. With a small cough, he caught the pupils' attention. 'Should we begin?'  
  
A ripple passed though the crowd as each person returned to a conscious state and then filed inside the indoor glade. Sitting down awkwardly onto the smooth turf, the students focussed the Supreme Kai with a critical, measuring stare. Quietly closing the ugly wooden door, Kaioshin desperately attempted to recall all of the school lessons he had ignored in his youth.  
  
***  
  
Entering the freezing dungeon that was the Potions room, Gohan felt a distinct chill down his spine. Eyeing the pickled décor, it was easy to see why Professor Snape was considered "creepy". Even Vegeta looked somewhat put-off by the shelves stacked with large jars filled with floating dead creatures. Piccolo looked similarly disgusted, but Trunks and Goten didn't seem to notice the menagerie at all.  
  
The waiting students turned to stare at the "new pupils", their gazes following them all the way through the dungeon. Malfoy's eyes were glittering with malice, his facial expression curved with more than the usual dislike at Harry's presence.  
  
Vegeta and Piccolo chose a suitably shadowed section of the classroom. While Vegeta sat down on the chair with a look of pure arrogance on his face, Piccolo spurned the crude wooden chair and instead began to meditate in mid-air, attracting yet more strange looks. Gohan shuffled into a seat next to Harry, Ron and Hermione, all the while eyeing Goten and Trunks distrustfully as they sat nearest the front - a place that was strangely devoid of all but Slytherin students.  
  
The door was flung open, and Snape stormed into the class, completely ignoring the students and declining to explain why he was late. Taking a seat up the front of the class, Snape addressed the new "students". 'I daresay you will not understand any of what is shown to you today. However, I do not see this as any different from the rest of the class, so I shall expect for you all to perform to the same standards they do'.  
  
Gohan stared in disbelief - not even the teachers at Orange Star had been this curt or rude to the students. The rest of the class seemed to twitch slightly as well, especially Hermione, who was positively writhing in her chair in disdain. Vegeta fixed Snape with a poisonous glare, calmly re- shuffling the order of his prized "People to Kill List". Piccolo continued to meditate, but a vein was starting to bulge on his forehead.  
  
Goten and Trunks didn't look offended at all, in fact they both had utterly angelic expressions on their faces and were staring back at Snape with huge innocent eyes. Snape was feeling more than slightly nervous at their attention - there was no way that that expression wasn't fake. Just what were they planning???  
  
***  
  
wild-filly: memo to self - do not invite homicidal maniacs to be muses  
  
Kaioshin: to be fair, you didn't even invite them, so they have every reason to be homicidal  
  
wild-filly: -_-* thank you SO MUCH for that vote of confidence  
  
Marik: I GET TO KILL WILD-FILLY, AND AFTER THAT I WILL TAKE THE STUPID PHAROAH'S PUZZLE!!!!  
  
Bakura: NO!!!! I WAS TRYING TO STEAL THE PUZZLE WAAAAAYYY BEFORE YOU WERE AND THEREFORE, I ALSO GET TO KILL THE AUTHOR!  
  
wild-filly: -_-* charming  
  
Yami: HOW DARE YOU CALL ME STUPID? YOU'RE JUST JEALOUS THAT YOU'LL NEVER BE PHAROAH!  
  
*Marik, Yami and Bakura all attempt to murder one another instead of the author*  
  
wild-filly: I feel ignored...  
  
Kaioshin: -_-* you WANT them to try to kill you?  
  
wild-filly: no.... but it does give me an interest  
  
Kaioshin: *shakes head in disbelief*  
  
wild-filly: please review!! ^______^ 


	11. Chapter 10

Wild-filly: Welcome back everyone an-  
  
*loud crashes can be heard in the background, a pile of suitcases clatter through the door, followed by an obnoxious chanting*  
  
MoonWraith: wild-filly stole my plot! Wild-filly stole my plot! *waves banners around eagerly, wacking into already pissed-off cast*  
  
Wild-filly: -_-* you lost the plot a while ago MoonWraith  
  
Kaioshin: what IS that?  
  
MoonWraith: I am a PERSON, not a that! *resumes chanting and annoying cast*  
  
*Ryou Bakura hears the commotion approaches the screen*  
  
Ryou: what IS that?  
  
Wild-filly: possibly an author.... in disguise  
  
MoonWraith: hmph! You stole the plot from the story from ME!  
  
Wild-filly: I resent that! You're not even writing this fic, and it was ME who thought up most of the plot - you just had it talked at you!  
  
Kaioshin: I can foresee this becoming painful.....  
  
Wild-filly: *evil glint in eyes* oh MARIK, BAKURA!!!!  
  
*Marik and Bakura come to the keyboard, glaring at author*  
  
Bakura: what now, you foolish mortal?  
  
Wild-filly: I grant you my supreme permission to attack that monstrosity!  
  
MoonWraith: hmmm? *whacks Bakura in the face with her misspelt sign by accident*  
  
Bakura: @_@  
  
Marik: DIIIEEE!!!! *Millennium Rod transforms into a dagger, but is deflected purely by coincidence by another half-hearted sign wave*  
  
MoonWraith: *finally notices that she is under attack* If you want to fight, then let's fight! I challenge you to a duel!  
  
Marik: *smirks evilly, not believing his luck at how stupid the invading author is* Very well  
  
*MoonWraith draws sabre that has more than a few rust spots, which she hastily tries to scrub off, otherwise her French instructor will yell at her in French. Again.*  
  
Marik: I summon the Winged Dragon of Ra, and I ask that stupid pharaoh and priest to hand over the other two Egyptian God cards so I can properly crush this moron!  
  
*Yami and Seto Kaiba lunge at Marik, the Millennium Rod goes flying and gives author mild concussion*  
  
Wild-filly: @_@  
  
all cast/characters: FREEDOM, ESCAPE THE INSANE CAPTIVITY OF THE AUTHOR!!!!!!!  
  
MoonWraith: What's THAT? Is that a Pokemon card? *Pokemon cards being the only monstrosities (cards) she has seen* What do you think you're doing with that thing? Can't you face me like a man, wimp! Duel properly you white-haired Petit Angel!  
  
*Marik manages to throw Yami and Kaiba out of the way. Marik doesn't look happy*  
  
Marik: HOW DARE YOU REFER TO THE LEGENDARY EGYPTIAN GOD CARDS LIKE THAT? AND I DO NOT IN ANY WAY RESEMBLE A STUPID SHINING FRIENDSHIP!!!!!!! I WILL TAKE ALL OF THE MILLENNIUM ITEMS AND RULE THE WORLD, ERADICATING ITS POPULATION OF IDIOTS LIKE YOU AND THE AUTHOR!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
*Yami, Yugi, Bakura, Ryou, Seto, Mokuba, Kaioshin, Vegeta, MoonWraith and the groggy Wild-filly all watch with interest as Marik's face turns the same colour as his eyes*  
  
MoonWraith: What is a Petit Angel again? Wild-filly just told me to call you that.  
  
Wild-filly *in an insane, suicidal moment* A Petit Angel is a fluffy, fairy thing....*it is at this moment wild-filly realises just what she has done*  
  
*Marik transforms the Millennium Rod into a dagger and stabs at wild-filly. Wild-filly receives the foresight to dodge, Marik continues murderous rampage, crashing into computer, knocking over Yami who knocks over Yugi who knocks over Bakura who knows over Ryou who knocks over Mokuba who knocks over Seto who knocks over Kaioshin who knocks over Vegeta...*  
  
Vegeta: *powers up to SSJ 4* DIIIIIIIIEEEEEE!!!!!!!  
  
Marik: O.O *gets ki-blasted and joins the rest of the muses in a grumbling pile on the floor* X_X  
  
Wild-filly: I'm sick of this, MoonWraith SHUT UP!!!  
  
MoonWraith: *ignores wild-filly and continues chanting*  
  
Wild-filly: -_-* Still don't own Dragonball Z, Harry Potter or Yu-Gi-Oh!  
  
MoonWraith: Or plot!  
  
Wild-filly: must... not.... kill.......yet, however I have been given cake for all of the characters, more cookies, some vanilla coke, a Kaioshin plushie, an Award of Kewlness, pocky, some mangas and "The Homicidal Maniacs Scream". Thank you El Loco Uno, Gusebat, crazy buttafly and mhnomi! ^____________^  
  
***Chapter 10***  
  
Snape sneered at the two innocently smiling demi-Saiyans, turning his back to them in a dramatic flutter of midnight-black robes and stalking over to the blackboard behind his cauldron. Drawing out his ebony wand, he flicked the tip towards the board and a jet of white light began to scrawl its way down the scrubbed surface, chalking out the recipe for today's potion.  
  
Harry prodded the small pile of kindling under his cauldron with his wand, sparking it alight as Ron and Hermione followed suit. Gohan looked nervously at his own wand and then at the kindling. Turning his head away and shutting his eyes, Gohan poked at the pile of dry twigs with his wand; not wanting to witness what may happen. Which was absolutely nothing. Gohan eased one eye open and prodded the sticks again. Still nothing. Gohan opened the other eye and leant forward, glaring at the seemingly inflammable twigs as he stabbed more viciously at the pile. Even more nothing. Gohan slid a sideways glance towards the other students to ensure that no one was watching, then placed one hand flat on the mound, quietly calling up a tiny fraction of ki to light the fire.  
  
Hermione looked up from her rummaging in the universal potion's cupboard to see smoke rising from Gohan's kindling. Smiling, she walked over to where the demi-Saiyan was sitting and handed him the bundle of ingredients required. 'Well done! It usually takes beginners much longer to master spells like that'.  
  
Gohan carefully avoided eye-contact, pondering if he had just in some small way made his stay here more difficult.  
  
Vegeta and Piccolo were surveying the blackboard, distaste clearly written across their faces for much the same reasons. Vegeta snorted, idly flipping his cauldron over and resting his feet upon it, reclining on the chair and proceeding to ignore the proceedings. Piccolo shook his head at the arrogant Saiyan, a part of him telling him to do exactly the same or better - leave the stupid class right now. Inclining his head towards where Gohan was chatting animatedly with Harry, Ron and Hermione, the Namekian warrior sighed and uncurled his legs, returning his feet to the ground. Weaving his way through the desks and the students' wary eyes, Piccolo searched through the cupboard for what he could only hope were the ingredients. Hands clasped firmly around a bundle of fragrant herbs and decomposing animal matter, he wove his way towards an unused cauldron, ki- blasted the pile of wood and chucked the whole lot into the cauldron. Hermione gave a small shriek and started out of her chair, eyes wide with fear as Piccolo emptied the last of his ingredients into the pewter depths.  
  
BANG  
  
The room remained in utter silence as the smoke cleared. Eyes travelled from Piccolo to Snape and back again. Piccolo rocked back from the shock of having a bridging-on-major-explosion take place uncomfortably close to his face. His beloved turban and cape were badly scorched and a vile- smelling, burnt precipitate clung malevolently to the bottom of the cauldron. The Namek's face was expressionless, except for the scorch marks and splatters from the cauldron.  
  
Vegeta chose to break the silence with maximum respect for Piccolo's dignity.  
  
Howling with laughter, the Saiyan prince fell from his comfortable position partially on the desk, chair and cauldron and clattered to the floor. Gohan looked sympathetically towards his mentor, knowing how much the proud warrior hated to be defeated by anything. Especially by an inanimate object.  
  
Snape fixed a mockingly condescending expression on his face and glided over to where Piccolo had replaced his shock with a lethal glare aimed towards the hopelessly laughing Saiyan. With an intricate sweep of his wand, the smoke and ruined materials disappeared and Piccolo directed his glare to the smirking Potions master.  
  
'Don't worry,' drawled Snape, sarcasm dripping from every syllable, 'the ingredients you just destroyed weren't INCREDIBLELY rare or expensive and you certainly haven't disrupted the entire class or my marking time'.  
  
Apprehensive silence had a firm grasp on all the students, every one of them leaning over their cauldrons for a better look. The majority of expectations, or rather hopes, was that Snape would provoke the alien and get himself splattered against the opposite wall. Indeed those closest to the opposite wall were attempting to edge themselves out of suspected impact zone.  
  
Gohan held his breath, mentally praying that the exact same thing wouldn't happen, but who could tell with Piccolo? He was, if possible, as bad as Vegeta at taking this kind of criticism.  
  
Piccolo fixed Snape with a chilling glare and stretched out his left arm, fully extended and palm flat. Without breaking eye-contact, Piccolo formed a small ball of ki and released it. A jar containing what wouldn't be out of place in the scenery of an insane-axe-murderer-on-rampage-film exploded, showering the floor with slippery preservative, glass and its unpleasant contents.  
  
'My mistake, please accept my apology'.  
  
***  
  
Shimmering back into the visible spectrum, Kibito emerged on the smooth manicured lawns of the Grand Kai's planet. The giant broadened his senses, searching for the Grand Kai's somewhat depleted energy level. In his day the old Kai had been a formidable fighter, nowadays the only fighting he ever did was when his stereo system played up. Finally an energy reading flickered from one of the chambers in the temple-like palace. Setting off at a swift walk, Kibito tried to maintain as much dignity as possible as he passed the groups of deceased fighters staring in confusion at him. Every instinct screamed at him to bolt the way to the Grand Kai, for fear that the universe wasn't being overseen and could implode at any given time. However he couldn't let those fighters who recognised him think that he, Kibito, had ever failed his task of protecting the Supreme Kai. Reputation comes before the safety of the universe, naturally.  
  
Gritting his teeth in annoyance, he lengthened his stride, bulldozing his way through a line of guards who didn't step out of the way quick enough. Staggering upright and calling after the impatient bodyguard, one of the more foolish guards roared, 'who do you think you are?! The Grand Kai does not have time for visitors! Get back here!'  
  
Kibito didn't even turn around. Judging by the length of the sentences the guard was using, being diplomatic or speaking at a rate of more than ten words a minute would be a complete waste of time. The others knew who he was; either that or they were still learning how to string syllables into words.  
  
Rounding a corner and continuing down the polished marble floor, the giant's sensitive hearing could pick up the faint humming of music that should have been put out of its misery millennia ago. Shuddering slightly and mentally bracing himself, Kibito shoved open the glittery chamber doors and entered the Grand Kai's throne room.  
  
He was greeted by the thunderous bellow of the Grand Kai's obnoxious taste in "music" as well as the blinding combinations of sycadellic décor and glitter. Disco balls and coloured lights shone from every available ceiling space, throwing the cavernous chamber into a head-aching rainbow and sparkles. Kibito nearly threw himself out of the chamber from the sheer horror of it all, however he was greeted with the wonderful removal of the dreadful music and the Grand Kai calling out, 'hey Kibito! Watcha doin' here?'  
  
Cringing inwardly and mentally processing the Grand Kai's message into passable sense, Kibito began to explain the situation nice and slowly, his eyes tightly closed in emergency self-defence from the attacking colours.  
  
***  
  
Trunks growled irritably. A nice explosion had been what he and Goten had been hoping to try. Now Piccolo had gone and ruined all surprise factor.... stupid Namek. The chibis would just have to think up something more original, more interesting, more destructive, more.... annoying.  
  
Goten glanced at Trunks, a confused expression on his face, 'are we still going to blow up the weird vampire man's desk?'  
  
Trunks shook his head discreetly, beckoning Goten to keep his voice down, 'nah, too boring. Let's try something else...'  
  
Several seconds of evil demi-Saiyan plotting ensued  
  
Goten grinned in delight, 'that's great! When do we start, Trunks?!' The younger chibi could hardly contain his excitement at the prospect of their prank-that-would-EASILY-over-shadow-that-stupid-Namek's-explosion-that-was- copied-off-THEIR-idea-somehow.  
  
Trunks leant back leisurely in his chair, fixing the back of Snape's head with a sinister smirk, 'just wait for the right moment, then we attack'.  
  
Snape was trembling in rage, wand shaking in its white-knuckled grasp, the Potions Master see-sawing back and forth between hexing the coolly contemptuous warrior and storming straight out of the dungeons and to the headmaster's office. No. He, Severus Snape, could not appear cowardly in front of so many dull-witted, slack-jawed imbeciles disguised as students.  
  
Lips curving into a threatening sneer, Snape locked eyes with Piccolo and snarled, 'I accept your apology and also remind you, that I can do far more than simply blow up material. I could make it beg for death'. There. A suitably evil, sinister and intelligent response. Excellent work Snape, keep it up.  
  
Turning away and marching over to his desk, Snape flicked his wand casually over his shoulder and the shattered bottle disappeared in a shimmer of silver sparks. Trunks and Goten eyed their prey watchfully, patiently waiting, watching. Almost in range, nearly...  
  
At last, Snape strode gracefully in front of the anxious chibis' desks. Goten launched himself at the Potions master, hugging Snape around the knees and bawling loudly, eyes watery with tears and innocently displaying the Son Puppy Eyes . Gohan started up from his chair in fear, wondering what ailment had befallen his younger brother, 'Goten! What's wrong?!'  
  
The spiky-haired chibi ignored his older brother, continuing to sob heartbreakingly into the horrified teacher's robes. Snape was engaged in a terrible struggle with himself. His dark, sinister personality told him to kick the little brat off and have someone or thing cart it off to the Hospital ward and out of his list of problems. The much beaten, covered up, ignored and bedraggled side of Snape that was a good person begged plaintively for him to comfort the poor, adorable, innocent little child. The two forces locked in an epic battle, leaving Snape's eyes glazed with indecision. All he could do was stare numbly at the sobbing chibi.  
  
Gohan stumbled over to the front of the class and bent down, trying to pry Goten off the now serious-disturbed Snape's knees. Goten resisted all attempts and instead howled louder. Trunks smirked, raising his wand and yelling for the whole class to hear, 'DON'T WORRY GOTEN! THIS SPELL WILL MAKE YOU FEEL BETTER!'  
  
The battered wand arched viciously through the air, time seeming to slow as though crawling through solid treacle. Trunks roared an incantation, and Hermione and Snape's eyes widened in horror, as they realised what the angelic little child had just done. The class watched in shock as the blast of fluorescent pink light issued from the tip of the wand and struck Snape and Gohan.  
  
The result was immediate, both Snape and Gohan turned neon pink from the spikes of Gohan's hair to the soles of Snape's shoes. Goten had reeled back just in time and was choking himself laughing, as were all the other occupants of the room. Students were lolling out of desks, scarlet faced with mirth, the other Z fighters stifling smiles or howling along with the rest of the group.  
  
Gohan examined his clothing and hands in horror, looked up and caught the eye of the choking Trunks, who was rolling on the floor laughing. Trunks stopped abruptly, however Goten continued to giggle as Snape ducked behind his desk and began trying to reverse the spell.  
  
Goten chuckled over the roaring of the crowd, 'you're right Trunks! I DO feel much better now!'  
  
Gohan always tried VERY hard to stay calm. Control your anger, it's not worth fighting over, you could hurt someone etc etc etc. This is a very good way to behave most of the time. However, if you have just been attacked by your brother's best friend and turned a violent shade of pink from head to foot in front of a class full of strangers, some new friends, your mentor and your father's arch-rival, you may just feel entitled to have a slight fit to yourself.  
  
'DDDDDDIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!' came the inhuman shriek from the demi-Saiyan's lips, head thrown back and ki level barrelling right off the charts and inventing some new ones. The utterly furious teenager transformed straight to Super Saiyan 3 and the ki-aura that built up around him proceeded to scorch a hole through the ceiling and continue in this fashion until it punched a hole through the castle roof and sent several post owls fleeing for their lives. Students dived under desks or fled screaming from the classroom. Goten and Trunks exchanged nervous glances - perhaps now would also be a good time to run.  
  
Without a backwards glance, the two terrified chibis bolted through the wreckage that was once the classroom and flew through the corridors as fast as the frequent corners would allow. 'This is all your fault, Trunks!' shrieked Goten as he jetted alongside the other Saiyan, 'I TOLD you we should have just had an explosion but nooooooo, you wanted to cast maaaaaaagic'.  
  
Trunks chose to avoid eye contact, 'it's not MY fault Goten, if you hadn't gotten Gohan all worried then we wouldn't be in this problem!'  
  
'How dare you blame me?! It's all your fault!'  
  
'is not!'  
  
'is too!'  
  
'is not!'  
  
'is too!'  
  
Sheltered by a shield charm and the majority of the offensive colour blacked out by a sudden collapse of the pile of inkbottles balanced on his desk, Snape was slightly relieved that this commotion may prove more memorable than his....ahem... new look.  
  
***  
  
Students inside the indoor glade leapt up in fright as the huge explosion rocked through the castle, accompanied by an echoing scream. Wands were drawn and everyone was staring fearfully at the floor where the noise had originated.  
  
Kaioshin felt the dangerous ki-spike before the transformation occurred and had the foresight to shield the room with his own brand of magic before the ki blast made a nice new skylight for the classroom. One of the girls called out, 'what's happening... sir?'  
  
The little purple deity buried his face in his hands. Somehow he figured that explaining the origins of the Saiyan race would serve only to complicate matters. The rest of the class all fixed him with an expectant glare. The Supreme Kai sighed, eyes trailing to the ceiling then to the floor, then to the trees, then to the waterfall the to anywhere the students weren't. Time oozed slowly past, each second serving to further increase the tension in the room. Shaking his head dejectedly, Kaioshin drew a ragged breath, opened his mouth and began, 'that was...'  
  
The magical chimes signalling that the class times had finished rang throughout the castle, its crystalline tones relieving Kaioshin from his task of explanation. With a considerably more cheerful expression on his face, Kaioshin met the eyes of the students and smiled, 'off to your next classes please. I'm sure your teachers will explain there'.  
  
Feeling somewhat cheated, the students trooped out, leaving Kaioshin to meditate over the cost of the ceiling bill and whether or not it would wind up forwarded to HIS address.  
  
***  
  
Wild-filly: I..can't....take..any...more..of....this...  
  
MoonWraith: wild-filly stole my plot! wild-filly stole my plot! wild-filly stole my plot! wild-filly stole my plot! wild-filly stole my plot! *draws breath* wild-filly stole my plot! wild-filly stole my plot! wild-filly stole my plot! wild-filly stole my plot! wild-filly stole my plot!  
  
Wild-filly: *growls* MoonWraith THE ONLY THING YOU HAD TO DO WITH THE PLOT IS THAT YOU LISTENED TO ME TELL IT TO YOU!  
  
MoonWraith: wild-filly stole my plot! wild-filly stole my plot! wild-filly stole my plot! Huh? That's not true, I GAVE YOU SUGGESTIONS!  
  
Wild-filly: I can foresee this taking a looooonnng time *sigh* please review and continue to ignore MoonWraith!  
  
Kaioshin: I didn't even get a mention in the ending bit, I feel so insulted...  
  
Wild-filly: oh yeah, ignore him as well -_- 


	12. Chapter 11

Wild-filly: YAHOO!!!!!!!!! EXAMS ARE FINALLY FINISHED!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *breaks into victory dance*  
  
Kaioshin: O_O I don't believe it...... the author is actually CHEERFUL about something?!  
  
Ryou: Don't worry - the sugar will wear off sooner or later  
  
Marik: With any luck, sooner.  
  
MoonWraith: *is sitting in a tent constructed out of the protest signs she had brought earlier* wild-filly stole my plot! wild-filly stole my plot! wild-filly stole my plot! wild-filly stole my plot! wild-filly stole my plot! wild-filly stole my plot! wild-filly stole my plot! wild-filly stole my plot! wild-filly stole my plot!  
  
Wild-filly: *freezes in mid-caper and attempts to murder invading authoress*  
  
Kaioshin, Vegeta, Ryou, Marik: -_-* she's back to normal  
  
Yami Bakura: I haven't banished anyone to the shadow realm for hours.... IF I DON'T KILL A FOOLISH MORTAL SOON, I'LL GO INSANE!!!!!!!!  
  
All: *stare at Yami Bakura* O_O  
  
Wild-filly: *freezes in mid strangle* uhhhh... aren't you already insane?  
  
Yami Bakura: there's no need to be rude about it *sulks*  
  
Wild-filly: right... that was... unusual, but either way - this is supposed to be a disclaimer  
  
Disclaimer: No.... sadly no kind reviewer left me the ownership rights to Dragonball Z, Harry Potter or Yu-Gi-Oh! *sigh* I don't suppose anyone can see fit to donate me anything *hopeful expression*  
  
Vegeta: *snorts* you really are pathetic  
  
Wild-filly: *sulks and sits underneath computer desk, glaring at even more disturbed muses*  
  
***Chapter 11***  
  
There was relatively little consciousness actually filtering through Gohan's rage-filled mind. The demi-Saiyan's nerves had been grated to something approaching a fine powder over the last few hours, and Saiyans in general did not respond well to this degree of pressure.  
  
There was no room left in Gohan's head for reason - only concentrated fury. Something however, was concerning him. A nagging, biting feeling at the back of his head that moaned something was wrong. The adolescent Saiyan pondered momentarily over what could be wrong.... he had just crashed through his previous best levels of power during training, why was he worried?  
  
Then it struck him - this place did not even remotely resemble the wilderness in which he usually trained. In fact, it almost looked like a classroom that someone had driven a tractor through. After the driver had consumed an impressive quantity of whiskey. And had been blindfolded. Hang on a minute..... classroom?!  
  
The sudden recognition was all it took to jolt Gohan out of his stupor and into the crumbling, ki-scarred reality around him. The demi-Saiyan blinked in confusion as Vegeta and Piccolo stared at him; both their faces twisting as they tried to prevent themselves from laughing.  
  
Gohan glanced down at his hands. They appeared to be a rather painful shade of fuchsia pink. The demi-Saiyan's eyes widened in horror as he examined his waist-length, blonde hair. Gohan looked up in terror as Vegeta spluttered with laughter and Piccolo started to snicker at the unfortunate warrior.  
  
Vegeta choked in disbelief - it was Super Saiyan, Barbie style.  
  
Harry spat out a mouthful of ash, crouching behind his pockmarked cauldron until the pulsating roar typical of a transformation had died down. For some reason Harry himself could not fathom, he had not joined the majority of the class in the desperate dash for the exit. Ron and Hermione had followed Harry's example and were also taking shelter behind their cauldrons, black robes flaked with plaster and carbonised potion ingredients. The three caught each other's eyes and slowly stood up.  
  
Harry surveyed the damage in disbelief. Cauldrons were overturned, smashed and scorched; not one piece of furniture had survived. Parchment that had escaped the blasting energy continued to flutter through the air, spiralling as the crisp breeze entered the newly-installed window.  
  
Just to improve the mood, it began to rain - invading droplets of water mixing with the powdery plaster to form a chalky slush all over the floor of the dungeons. Harry stared in fascination at Gohan; not only because of the spell's affects, but also because of what Gohan had done himself - he barely resembled the previous Gohan.  
  
Hermione however, was watching Piccolo and Vegeta - they did not seem even slightly concerned about the transformation..... just amused. Perhaps this was normal? Maybe this kind of magic was what Dumbledore hoped could be used to destroy you-know-who. She shook her head in disbelief and chagrin - doubtless it would have been more impressive if Gohan hadn't also been turned an eye-smarting pink.  
  
The fact that the pink was so offensive also drew Snape into the trio's vision, despite the ink the Potion's master was also wearing in liberal amounts, the colour would have shown up on a pitch-black night when the seeker was blindfolded. It was the kind of colour that you could not only see, but hear.  
  
Snape searched desperately on the grubby floor for his wand, hoping to reverse the spell, or at least change his contaminated robes. Forcing himself to stay as silent as possible and try to remain out of sight, Snape stretched out on his stomach across the floor, reaching for his errant wand. Sadly for Snape's dignity, his flailing fingertips accidentally sent the wand skittering further away, catching the attention of his three least popular pupils.  
  
Ron tried and failed to suppress an incredulous snort as Harry carefully hid his expression under pretence of scrubbing the chalk slush from his face with a bedraggled sleeve. Hermione determinedly pretended she had not noticed the heartily embarrassed Potions Master and continued to survey the Saiyans and Namek with a calculating gaze.  
  
Snape abandoned dignity, grabbed his wand and hastily removed the majority of the pink. Unfortunately, Trunk's inexpertise had resulted in leaving Snape's skin as though it had been severely burnt. There were pink highlights through his hair.  
  
Snape, now blissfully relishing the pink-free robes and partially pink-free skin tone, chose to regain some of the lost grace. Drawing himself up haughtily, he glared down his hooked nose at the dazed demi-Saiyan.  
  
'What in the name of all things holy do you think you're doing'.  
  
It wasn't a question, it was a softly spoken statement seething with venom.  
  
Gohan, much to Snape's slight surprise and extreme annoyance, didn't even seem remotely taken aback.  
  
The demi-Saiyan calmly met eyes with the enraged Potions Master, 'I apologise sir, I'm afraid that I lost my temper. I'm sure the Supreme Kai can repair the damage. No one was hurt?'  
  
Snape snarled, 'you were lucky, you freak of nature, that no one was hurt, or I'd have been forced to take steps to prevent it for continuing'.  
  
Vegeta snorted contemptuously, deciding that this was an insult directed at the Saiyan race as well as Kakarrot's brat. 'Stupid human. The noble Saiyan race and ultimate transformations of my race are not "freaks of nature" as you call them. Even the weakest of Saiyan's could cripple you by vaporizing your ridiculous magic stick'.  
  
'So you think'. It was the best response Snape had. As much as he hated the notion; a wizard would be helpless without their wand. The fact that these aliens had already figured this out was not a comforting thought.  
  
'Enough of this idle talk - you have disrupted my class, scattered my pupils and destroyed the dungeons. You're going back to the headmaster's office and I doubt he will be so welcoming now'.  
  
*  
  
Goten and Trunks, still fearful of their lives, now discovered themselves in the main entrance hall. The demi-Saiyans skidded to a brief halt to decide the next course of action.  
  
'What do we do now Trunks? Is Gohan following us?'  
  
'I can't sense his energy coming any nearer, I guess we outran him'  
  
Goten sighed in relief and sank onto the tiled floor, 'so what now?'  
  
Trunks pondered to himself, 'well, even if Gohan isn't following us, he's probably still pretty mad. I think we should avoid him for a while'.  
  
'Can we go find dad?'  
  
'Do we have to? Why don't we go exploring in that cool forest outside'.  
  
'But the old wizard guy said we shouldn't!'  
  
'Hey, what's more dangerous? Some dumb old forest, or your brother seeking revenge?!'  
  
'I guess you're right. Can we bring dad?'  
  
'No Goten, he'd support Gohan'.  
  
'Oh, ok'.  
  
With something vaguely resembling a plan in their minds, the duo casually shoved open the tightly locked double doors and ran off, laughing excitedly, towards the dark and forbidding forest.  
  
Within a few minutes, the chibis were deep into the heart of the forest, keenly clambering through the dense undergrowth. For some reason, most of the creatures inhabiting the forest seemed to be avoiding them. This possibly had something to do with the way Trunks ki-blasted an exceptionally large spider the size of a Clydesdale out of their path. Goten mentioned hearing something behind them, however after the spider decided that the chibis looked about snack-sized and launched an attack, the noises remarkably stopped. Noises following them, that is.  
  
*  
  
'Where could they have gone?'  
  
Yes, once again the Z team, Kaioshin, Harry, Ron and Hermione were back in Dumbledore's office. Goku had been steered in the right direction by a helpful house-elf who was sent out to look for the completely and utterly lost Saiyan.  
  
Dumbledore sighed, steepling his fingers together, 'you have absolutely no idea where your younger companions are?'  
  
Gohan shook his head, now de-pinked, 'I think they're trying to avoid me. Since they were responsible for my, ahem.... loss of temper, they're afraid that I may brutally maim them in return'.  
  
Dumbledore raised one grey eyebrow, 'You brutally maim them frequently?'  
  
Gohan blushed slightly, 'no sir. I usually just threaten to lock them in the Gravity Room when Vegeta's in a bad mood'.  
  
The aged wizard noted the one referred to as Vegeta spit contemptuously. However, he also noticed that the seasoned warrior did not press the subject with the younger male. Returning his penetrating stare to the demi- Saiyan, Dumbledore sighed and stood up, beginning to pace anxiously around the circular study.  
  
Piccolo didn't like the situation at all; the boys had absolutely no idea what kind of enemies were out there. These weren't the kind of opponents who ki-blasted and struck their point into you; these ones could ensnare your senses to the point that you couldn't even differentiate between friend and foe. The Namek was worried; Trunks and Goten could be walking into a trap.  
  
Hermione appeared to be thinking along similar lines, 'Professor, what will happen if the Death Eaters find them?'  
  
'They'll regret it'  
  
The answer came not from Dumbledore, but Vegeta; the Saiyan prince was smirking arrogantly. Goku nodded, stepping forward.  
  
'Yeah, I mean, the boys have the fusion technique in case anything goes wrong...'  
  
'What's "the fusion technique"? asked Ron, perplexed.  
  
Goku looked questioningly at Vegeta. Vegeta glared back. 'Not a snowball's chance in Hell, Kakarott'.  
  
'Aawwwww.. come on Vegeta, just to show them?'  
  
'No. And if you ask me again, you will regret it'.  
  
Goku pouted, but decided to drop the subject. The Supreme Kai cleared his throat, drawing the attention of the wizards and fighters.  
  
'I can faintly detect the boys' energy signals. As this is not the dimension that I rule over, I cannot pinpoint their exact locations, however I do know that at the moment they are not incredibly far from here'.  
  
Vegeta's eyes flashed menacingly, 'then why didn't you tell us this before?'  
  
Kaioshin blinked nervously, 'the opportunity did not arise, and either way the signal is so inaccurate that they could be miles away'.  
  
Dumbledore shook his head, 'Inaccurate or not, we have to find them before someone else does. If not the boys' safety, but the secrecy of the wizarding community is at stake. It would not take much effort for one of them to transform or do something muggles aren't accustomed to seeing for the word to spread'.  
  
*  
  
The two monsters in question were still stumbling around the forest, as lost as Goku on his way back from the kitchens.  
  
'Trunks, I don't think this was such a good idea'.  
  
'Shut up, I'm trying to get my bearings'.  
  
Goten sank to the leaf-littered forest floor cross-legged and sighed. 'We haven't tried flying yet'.  
  
Trunks shook his head irritably, 'we were told not to do anything that non- Saiyans or wizards can do, otherwise the whole world security, secrecy, whatever thing gets trashed'.  
  
Goten's lower lip quivered, 'but I'm so huuuuuunnnnnngry, can't we just quickly scan the area?'  
  
'Fine. But if we get caught, it was your idea'.  
  
'As long as I can have some food soon, I don't care'.  
  
Leaping lightly into the air, the young demi-Saiyans carefully rose to the same level as the tops of the trees, squinting into the distance for the looming form of the castle. Honestly, how could you lose some bloody huge building in the middle of nowhere?!  
  
Well, they had managed. "A bit of a wander" by demi-Saiyan standards would qualify as a small marathon or possibly a three-day wilderness camp. Now they had no clue whatsoever where they were, and Trunks' skill at finding bearings was as limited as his knowledge of properly feeding a competitive dressage horse.  
  
Trunks gave up on the "secrecy thing" and leapt further into the air. Still no sign. 'Goten, they must have moved the castle or something, let's fly and look for it. There isn't anyone out here anyway'.  
  
Without a second thought, the younger demi-Saiyan nodded his spiky-haired head and plunged after his friend.  
  
Trunks, however, was wrong once again. The Dark Lord's powers in the Forbidden Forest are exceptionally strong and his spies numerous in hope of gathering more information on Dumbledore's habits, plans and weaknesses. One very startled Death Eater, expertly disguised in an unregistered Animagus form, was intrigued to hear the duo's conversation and was even more fascinated to admire their amazing strength and abilities.  
  
The coal-winged crow hopped from the branch of a pale oak tree and took flight, following the boys and cawing out a signal to other spies positioned around the forest. The Dark Lord would be most interested in employing these two...  
  
*  
  
wild-filly: Terribly sorry this chapter took so long to post, please review! And by the way, if anyone is interested, I CAN actually tell them a bit about properly feeding a competitive dressage horse ^_^  
  
MoonWraith/Kaioshin/Marik/Ryou/Vegeta: PLEASE NO! ANYTHING BUT THAT!!!! 


	13. Chapter 12

Wild-filly: O.o Apologies to Kaye for not updating sooner.... I've been given many threats in my lifetime, but never that someone would feed me to their little brother if I didn't update sooner.  
  
All muses: *rolling on floor laughing*  
  
Wild-filly: -_-;;  
  
Kaioshin: *recovers slightly* She also asked you to write shorter disclaimers and more story... Somebody's getting sla-ack!  
  
Wild-filly: -_-;; Kaioshin, there's OOC and just plain disturbing, so I suggest you stop doing both.  
  
Kaioshin: *pouts and retreats to corner*  
  
Wild-filly: Yes.. Since MoonWraith moved in my disclaimers are getting progressively longer, so today *strikes heroic, patriotic pose* MY DISCLAIMER WILL BE LESS THAN A PAGE LONG!  
  
All muses and MoonWraith: *anime fall*  
  
Wild-filly: ^_^ at least I'm trying  
  
Disclaimer: *crickets chirp* Oh yeah, the disclaimer.. still haven't been donated the ownership rights, so currently do not own *pouts and joins Kaioshin in the corner*  
  
***Chapter 12***  
  
The animagus skimmed swiftly through the skies after them, easily avoiding all attentions of the demi-Saiyans, to whom giant winged dinosaurs where a perfectly normal sight. The disguised Death Eater had absolutely no intentions of capturing and stunning the two obviously gifted children by himself. Why do this when some lower-ranking and expendable servant of the Dark Lord could do it for them? All the wizard was interested in was seeing exactly where they were going and then sound out for an attack by a group of other concealed Death Eaters.  
  
'Trunks, I think we're going the wrong way'  
  
'Have you any idea which way IS the right way?'  
  
'No..'  
  
'Then what makes you think this ISN'T the right way?'  
  
'... I'm hungry'  
  
Trunks sighed, returning his attention to the endless sea of trees, small valleys and twisting silver rivers below them. Of course neither of them had a clue where they were going, but the scenery was certainly pretty enough. Although the scenery's beauty was hardly compensating for the distinct lack of food.  
  
Frustrated, the older demi-Saiyan slid to a halt in mid-air, 'how could we lose the castle?!'  
  
Goten stopped alongside his friend, 'I dunno, but we can't even sense the other's energies!'  
  
The crow banked left, the wizard's beliefs confirmed that these two were hopelessly lost, being that they had completely avoided Hogwarts, Hogsmeade and the train track leading out and were hazily heading towards the distant mountains, as infamous as the Forbidden Forest. Now was the time to call in for reinforcements.  
  
Goten glanced behind himself as a scraggly black crow cawed mournfully as it hung in mid-air behind them. 'Look Trunks! A birdie!'  
  
The animagus was so busy cawing out a message in a screechy version of Morse Code, that he didn't even notice the spiky-haired chibi gliding towards him, a wide smile on his face.  
  
'Birdie!'  
  
Too late the crow shot downwards, realising he had been discovered. The chibi's hand reached out with inhuman speed and gently grasped the struggling bird, an even wider grin spreading.  
  
'Look! I caught him!'  
  
Trunks turned a bored eye to the proud Goten, now carefully stroking the wing feathers of his new and frantic pet. 'Goten, I don't think he likes that'.  
  
Goten looked crestfallen, 'you don't think he likes me?' The chibi's huge black eyes filled with tears, causing even the captive wizard's heart to erupt with pity. Resentfully, the Death Eater ceased his struggling and allowed the overjoyed boy to hug him. Hopefully the others would come soon and fail to notice this embarrassing circumstance he was now landed in.  
  
Trunks shook his head disdainfully, continuing to scan the horizon for any remotely familiar landmark. Nothing. Whose bright idea was it to fill a forest full of trees and nothing else?!  
  
Then there was something, something bursting out of the uninterrupted winding trees in the distance, its wings thrashing for height. 'Hey Goten! What do you think that thing is?!' yelled Trunks in a combination of fascination and fear.  
  
Goten glanced up from his inspection of the disgusted crow, 'I'm not sure Trunks, it looks a bit like a pony from here. What do you think, Raven?'  
  
"Raven", who was in fact named Macnair, did in fact recognise the Death Eater headed towards them and heaved a mental sigh of relief. Antonio Dolohov's cruel and relatively unusual prowess in handling magical creatures had gained him a sizeable advantage in working within the Forbidden Forest.  
  
Trunks shook his head 'nah, it's too big for a pony, and it's flying towards us!'  
  
Goten scratched his head pensively, 'is it maybe a flying horse then? But I thought they were just a story!'  
  
Trunks shook his head, eyes never leaving the charging black winged horse heading straight for them, 'I'm pretty sure THAT one's not a story, either that or no one's bothered to tell it that small fact'.  
  
Macnair was slightly surprised at the complete lack of a reaction from the children. Even though they appeared to possess incredible power, they obviously had not the faintest idea that the creature headed towards them did not bring fair tidings. Perhaps they were not wizards and their powers not magical...  
  
Dolohov was not in any form of disguise, arrogantly astride the galloping winged horse with white mask and long black robes streaming out behind himself in the strong breeze, hardly visible against the creature's own midnight flanks and plumbed tail. It was apparent though, that Antonio's skill with the extremely rare and powerful dark Pegasus was not through natural ability, for the noble stallion was criss-crossed with deep, bloody scars. A heavy lead-rimmed bit was held by vicious hands, controlling the stallion by the Pegasus' inability to tolerate the taint of lead on their flesh, coupled with serrated lead spurs.  
  
Goten was impressed, 'wow Trunks, that horse thing is HUGE!'  
  
Trunks did not have time to respond, as the massive horse surged between the two boys, Antonio drew out his wand, 'STUPEFY!'  
  
Trunks was struck face-first with the full power of the magical attack, completely unprepared and unaware of what danger he was in. The lavender haired chibi lost control of his hover and plunged like a limp ragdoll down towards the dark forest below. Dolohov drove the spurs deep into his steed's torn flanks and his black wings tucked neatly into a dive, catching up to and catching the falling child before he even reached the tree level.  
  
Goten gave a scream of horror as Trunks lost consciousness and let go of the ruffled crow, continuing his scream as he leapt straight into his Super Saiyan form, angry tears springing from his eyes.  
  
'KA....ME...HA..ME...HAAAAAA!!'  
  
The huge beam of light blue energy blasted from the young Super Saiyan's outstretched hands, striking Dolohov right out of the lead-lined saddle and down through the tightly clustered trees. The Death Eater gave one final scream as the pure concentrated Ki ripped through him, biting a huge crater into the forest floor. Trunks remained slung over the saddle, secured by magical bindings.  
  
Goten's breath heaved as the chibi fought to recover from the ferocity of his own attack; the rage of his best friend's unfair defeat had drawn virtually every ounce of strength he possessed. Gliding over to the snorting stallion's side, Goten reached over to where Trunks remained bound over the pommel of the metallic saddle. The chibi didn't notice the crow land on the cantle as he fought to check Trunks' pulse, not until it was too late.  
  
'STUPEFY!'  
  
Macnair transformed back into his human state and used the same magical ties to hold the dazed Goten over the front of the saddle. Unable to move with the poisonous lead burning his flesh, the stallion danced nervously in mid-air. He did not recognise this new pilot, yet he certainly did not expect any kindness to come from him.  
  
The Death Eater responsible for the executions of countless "dangerous beasts" gathered up the leather reins and barked out a charm to minimise the effect of the lead, only so much that the Pegasus could move forward with being burnt. Kicking into the unresisting stallion's butchered sides, Macnair pushed the horse into a hand gallop and towards the foggy mountains, to present the prize to the Dark Lord and edit Dolohov's will.  
  
*  
  
A hopeful Goku, a slightly less pink Gohan, a concerned Piccolo, bored Vegeta and nervous Supreme Kai were all standing on the expansive smooth lawns just outside the main castle entrance, staring into the overgrown expanse that was the Forbidden Forest. Dumbledore was speaking to Hagrid whilst Harry, Ron and Hermione tried their best to eavesdrop on just what was being said.  
  
'You are certain that they went into the forest?'  
  
'Yes mister Dumbledore, two little kids came tearing out of the castle and right into the woods beside my hut. I came after them, but couldn't find a trace of where they had gone; either they knew exactly where they were going or were moving faster than me or Fang could ever go'.  
  
Dumbledore shook his head sadly, 'I had hoped this was not the case. I am afraid that you are right about the latter, Hagrid. Why did you not come tell me?'  
  
Hagrid shuffled his feet in shame, 'I was intending to sir, but I only just got back. I've asked the centaurs to look for them, but you know what they're like these days..'  
  
Dumbledore smiled slightly, 'if the centaurs see them, they will tell you Hagrid'.  
  
Returning to where the Z fighters, young wizards and witch were standing, Dumbledore cast a disapproving glance towards Harry, Ron and Hermione, completely aware of their attempts, 'Hagrid agrees that they went into the forest and he has asked the herds of centaurs inhabiting there to look for the children'.  
  
Goku blinked, 'what are centaurs?'  
  
Hermione swallowed, 'they are magical creatures that look like a combination of both humans and horses; they have the head, torso and arms of a human and the body, legs and tail of a horse'.  
  
Goku pondered on this for a moment, coming up with a mental image that resembled a centaur if centaurs were indeed related to scorpions and bestowed with more limbs than necessary. The Saiyan warrior broke into a wide grin, 'they should be easy to find if we go ask them if they've seen the boys!'  
  
Gohan glanced at his father in surprise, for Gohan's knowledge of "mythical" animals was considerably extensive due to one of Chi-Chi's whims that he may aspire to be famous historian as well as mathematician, scientist, doctor and Nobel Prize winner as well as author and artist in his spare time. Oh yeah, and lawyer.  
  
'Dad, I'm not entirely sure, but I think that centaurs would be pretty hard to find if they don't want to be found. They're as smart as us'.  
  
Vegeta snorted quietly, 'although I'm sure that doesn't say much about them in general if this includes Kakarott'.  
  
Piccolo was the only one who heard this comment and chose to ignore it, keeping it in mental storage as possible fuel for a fire. Bulma did not appreciate her husband's frequent remarks at her friend's expense but certainly did appreciate being informed of Vegeta's comments when she wasn't around. Denying the Saiyan Prince certain luxuries was one of the scientist's favourite hobbies. She often mused over selling tickets to people just to witness the planet destroyer's reaction to the threat of having the Gravity Room torn down and its materials used to build a new statue to Hercule.  
  
The Supreme Kai closed his eyes, sinking down into the closely-cropped grass in a meditative state. The others fell into silence as they observed the lavender deity lapse into intense concentration. Kaioshin may not be from this parallel universe and his powers therefore incredibly weak in this field, but his powers as Supreme Kai still existed and locating life energies was a basic act on his part. He may not be able to pinpoint the location of the young demi-Saiyans, but he could certainly find the people who were supposed to be here.  
  
Several minutes passed with the Supreme Kai sitting delicately cross-legged on the lawn in utter silence save for his rhythmic breathing. At last Kaioshin's almond-shaped eyes flickered open, a smile forming, 'there is a group of fifteen or so centaurs due north-west from here. They are moving consistently in this direction as though they are tracking something. I could not penetrate the leader's mind to find exactly what, but does the name "Bane" sound familiar?'  
  
Harry nodded, 'yeah we've met Bane before, but he hates humans! Why would he be helping us?'  
  
Dumbledore shook his head, 'no Harry, Bane has witnessed the atrocities committed by wizards many times throughout his life. He is not an evil centaur, although he has little reason to show humans any faith or affection'.  
  
Hermione blinked and then slowly opened her mouth in dawning understanding, 'Professor...'  
  
Dumbledore smiled, 'there is no time now Hermione, but I do believe that you are on the right track. You can take your friends to the centaurs?' The question was directed to Kaioshin.  
  
Nodding, the deity rose from the grass, brushing stray blades from the crisp blue fabric, 'we must hurry though, they seem to have increased the pace'.  
  
Ron gazed apprehensively into the darkness of the edge of the forest, pitch- black despite the brightness of the afternoon sun, 'are we going too Professor?'  
  
'Only if you want to go, Mister Weasley. I will send what members of the Order I can spare as soon as I make your excuses, but I daresay that our guests would appreciate your insight and knowledge of the forest'.  
  
Piccolo cleared his throat, casting a grave eye over the adolescents, 'forgive me for saying so, but I think they would be in considerable danger if they were to come along with us'.  
  
Harry felt himself riling, a stubborn surge of arrogance and annoyance at being thought of as too weak and cowardly to come, 'Professor Dumbledore, I want to go'.  
  
Hermione glanced at Harry nervously, 'then I'm going as well'.  
  
Ron sighed, kicking at a lump in the otherwise perfect turf, 'me too'.  
  
Gohan grinned at them, it was nice to see that he wasn't the only one who could stand up to Piccolo. The Namekian grunted and turned to Kaioshin, 'sir, will you lead?'  
  
'Certainly, although I must further impress the need for greater speed'.  
  
Harry nudged Ron, 'should we go get our brooms?'  
  
Goku grinned, 'that won't be necessary, I can transport you to different parts of the forest until we meet up with Gohan and the others'.  
  
The young mages instinctively took a step back, 'how do you mean?' queried Hermione in a mixture of curiosity and apprehension.  
  
Kaioshin glanced at Goku, 'the centaurs are continuing to head in a north- westerly direction several miles from here. They've just cantered alongside a lake almost as big as the one beside this castle, can you find that?'  
  
'Dunno..' The Saiyan closed his eyes, 'it's different locating people here than it is back home!' Finally he opened his eyes, 'right, you guys go on ahead, we'll meet you by the lake ok?'  
  
Kaioshin nodded serenely and rose into the air, as Piccolo, Gohan and Vegeta did the same, the demi and full-blood Saiyans transforming in order to make better speeds. In a heartbeat they were gone, only their glinting energy signals winking in the distance showing their path. Goku returned his focus to Harry, Ron and Hermione.  
  
'This is called Instant Transmission, it's a lot faster than flying or running, but you'll need to grab hold of my arm for it to work ok?'  
  
Harry stepped forward and seized the fighter's wristband, fingers feeling through the soft blue fabric to the strings of thin metal weights beneath. He supposed this was some part of increasing muscle strength, but it didn't half seem a little extreme.  
  
Ron and Hermione followed suit and the four flickered out of sight, leaving Dumbledore behind. The aged wizard hurried into the castle. Hopefully the centaurs would have found the children before the guests reached them, however if this wasn't the case, then he and the Order of the Phoenix had been intending an attack on the Death Eaters for some time now.  
  
It was time to call in Lupin, Tonks, Moody and anyone else who could be spared for the moment. If these aliens had the strength to give the dungeons a skylight without the use of a wand or even breaking a sweat, then perhaps they stood a chance in the war against Voldemort after all. Either way it was worth a shot... as long as the dungeons didn't end up looking like a Swiss cheese, there wouldn't be any harm in the aliens staying for a while, could there?  
  
*  
  
Wild-filly: I just wrote that all at once and my back is KILLING me!  
  
Kaioshin: Just because this isn't disclaimer doesn't mean you can fill it with all of your usual complaints!  
  
Wild-filly: just watch me ^_^ I have some stuff to say anyways  
  
1) A certain reviewer by the anonymous name of Suzuka Blade has left a collection of rather random reviews - I would much appreciate it if they would please leave me an explanation of just why they did such a thing as I am at a loss as to their meaning.. Yes they are humorous in their way, but still confusing...  
  
2) What is with MoonWraith? MoonWraith is in fact the penname of one of my school friends and I am writing a Dragonball Z fic with her (A Fairytale Work Experience) and she helped me come up with the plot of Broken Wands and Evil Gods. The problem is that I have actually forgotten the plot we made up and am now making it up as I go -_-;; MoonWraith has her own fictionpress account and shares the fanfiction account Darkness Eternal with another of my friends ^_^ does that clear up matters?  
  
And finally, many thanks to everyone who has reviewed and given me their comments, contributions and random words of wisdom for the last few chapters - Kaye, El Loco Uno, Suzuka Blade, Nitte iz, elvenjedi, Sozoku and uknowwhoiam! 


	14. Chapter 13

Wild-filly: ^_^ yes I'm back!  
  
Muses: *assorted grumbling and complaints*  
  
Wild-filly: And I have a sad announcement to have... MoonWraith will no longer be in the chapter disclaimers, as since I have forgotten what the previous plot was, she no longer has anything to complain about (in this story at least)  
  
MoonWraith: humph! I'll be back.. you'll see *packs up crudely-made protest signs and clatters out of room, smacking into various muses who didn't get out of the way fast enough*  
  
Wild-filly: by the way, MoonWraith and I have been writing a Dragonball Z fic called "A Fairytale Work Experience" - we haven't done very much of it yet, but feel free to have a look at it and maybe review to say whether or not it should be continued ^_^ You know what - I'm semi tempted to actually write a fic which is nothing but disclaimer, just to see what people think of it *pensive expression*  
  
Kaioshin: uhhhhh.. bad idea I'm afraid  
  
Wild-filly: Really? Oh well.. there goes my dream of posting possibly the only COMPLETELY pointless fic on fanfiction.net  
  
Marik: *shakes head in disdain* Are you going to start the chapter or not?  
  
Wild-filly: oh yeah, that's what I was going to do ^_^;;;  
  
Muses: *sweatdrop*  
  
Disclaimer: Wild-filly still hasn't been donated the rights to Dragonball Z, Harry Potter, Yu-Gi-Oh!, the television remote control, the fossilized tubs of icecream in the freezer or her toothbrush, however she would like to add that she started this fic before the 5th book came out - therefore Fred and George are still in Hogwarts, however Sirius is dead *sniff* in order to try and keep up with the original book without re-writing everything.  
  
***Chapter 13***  
  
Dumbledore hurried through the castle, ignoring the startled stares of the general student body following him. The fact that the Headmaster was agitated enough to break into a run was more than slightly disturbing - perhaps now would be a good time to find a place to hide or write wills. Flitwick was nearly flattened coming out of his classroom as the rest of the class decided it was safer inside.  
  
Scrambling back to his feet, clustered by sheepish pupils, the tiny wizard squeaked in complaint, 'what on earth is wrong with all of you?'  
  
Fred and George were the last to enter, both twins looking considerably less rattled than the rest of the class, 'Dumbledore's looking worried about something; went tearing off towards his study', commented George.  
  
Flitwick furrowed his brow. Albus must be going to alert the Order of the Phoenix, there was no other explanation, unless of course he had just remembered a previously-forgotten packet of muggle sweets he had acquired. Clearing his throat and pushing his way through the bunch of students, Flitwick called, 'nothing to worry about probably; I'll go see what's the matter, you all just go to your next class'.  
  
Exchanging anxious glances and forming a tight-knit group, the Charms class exited, walking past Flitwick much the same way as water breaks around a rock. Fred and George remained nonchalant, lurking at the back of the group in order to magically attach a couple of 'Hex Me' signs onto the backs of the unfortunate Slytherins with whom they shared a class.  
  
Flitwick chose to ignore this and hurried off towards what remained of the stone gargoyle, meeting up with McGonagal, Hagrid and Snape on the way. The Order was obviously being summoned.  
  
*  
  
Kaioshin continued the fairly low flight, weaving occasionally to avoid towering oak trees that seemed to erupt from nowhere from the uneven tree line. Vegeta was following close behind, holding back a snide comment that he could fly much faster than the pace the Supreme Kai was setting. However, even Vegeta had to give the ultimate overlord responsible for enuring that everything in the universe kept operating a little respect - in Vegeta's case, this meant toning down the insults slightly.  
  
'How much further? We COULD get there a lot faster you know'  
  
Kaioshin didn't even turn around. 'I am trying to focus on the centaurs' energies, but they seem to have a repelling magic of their own. I would appreciate it if you wouldn't distract my attention'.  
  
Vegeta felt snubbed. People who snubbed Vegeta generally didn't live much longer. Vegeta was quite happy about this standard procedure of events, but was not impressed when it was made apparent that this could not act out as normal. The proud Saiyan decided to hold this in insult storing capacity - just in case the stupid little purple elf one day lost his position as supreme deity and needed a favour..  
  
Gohan shook his head, deciding it best just to ignore Vegeta and actually try to help matters instead of plotting to complicate them further. The demi-Saiyan couldn't read minds, but what was on Vegeta's mind was practically tattooed on his forehead. Closing his eyes and letting the ki signatures of the other fighters guide him through the air, Gohan gently cleared his mind and sought to recognise the life signatures of the centaurs.  
  
In the blackness of his concentration, a sketchy image appeared to his far right - an image distorted by the limitations of ki existing in the magical creature, but clear enough to distinguish as having four legs, two arms and a tail. Gohan opened his eyes again, just about to call to the Supreme Kai that he had found them, when his flight guidance wavered and the demi- Saiyan opened his eyes just in time to smack face-first into a tree.  
  
Dazed, covered in suddenly dislodged branches, leaves and acorns, the demi- Saiyan slowly glided to the ground with a distinctly cross-eyed expression. Piccolo slid to a halt in mid air, looking down at where his pupil was curled up on the ground clutching his skull and yelping.  
  
The Namekian shook his head, partially in mirth, partially in exasperation. The kid was too much like Goku for his own good, but it would seem that his head was perhaps not as solid.  
  
Squinting up at the sky, through the sea of stars fluttering around his eyes, Gohan observed the quiet attentions of his sensei. Blushing slightly in embarrassment, Gohan leapt back into the air and took off as fast as he could to catch up with the Supreme Kai and Vegeta. At least the prince hadn't witnessed his fall from grace - else he would never have been allowed to forget it.  
  
Kaioshin had sensed Gohan tapping into the centaur life force and had literally used the demi-Saiyan's head like a map. One of the perks of being Supreme Kai - nobody's mind was safe. Although he was quite thankful this didn't work on other Kais, being as how he was now sharing a planet with the Elder Kai and his fascination for aerobics videos.  
  
As the Kai drew closer and closer to where the centaurs were continuing to gallop, he pondered over just how the universe was coping without him pretending to be watching over it. There was a nasty possibility that said Elder Kai would reinstate himself as Supreme and redecorate and restaff the entire temple on KaioshinKai - the lavender deity shuddered at the mere thought. The sooner he returned, the better.  
  
At last, through the filtering oak trees, a surging herd of centaur emerged; galloping in a strange silence. Vegeta dove down just ahead of them, coming to land directly in front of the leader and putting out a hand. Taken by surprise, the centaur kept going until it was brought to an abrupt halt by the Saiyan prince's hand planted firmly on their chest.  
  
Gohan rolled his eyes - there goes the nice peaceful entrance. It was highly doubtful that the centaurs would help them now after this indignation.  
  
*  
  
The disturbed musing had earlier by Kaioshin was in fact, more than worthy of his concern than the deity had first deemed worthy.  
  
Kibito stood in the only shadowed corner in the Grand Kai's throne room, muttering darkly to himself about just how much trouble his master was going to be in when he got back. He couldn't take much more of this disco- obsessive maniac and his fluorescent wall paper - if Kaioshin-sama didn't return soon, the he would destroy the deity's "secret" stash of contraband computer games just to show him when he got back.  
  
The Grand Kai sat comfortably burrowed in the depths of his sequined cushions, gazing into his own Viewing Orb, with a look he hoped could pass as concentration. In all honesty, the Grand Kai was easily as competent as the Supreme Kai to oversee the universe, but it was hard to take on the job of a being you have never met in person because he's so "holy".  
  
Basically, he was terrified of making a mistake and accidentally bringing on the destruction of the universe. Minor things like that.  
  
Kibito shuffled impatiently; the universe seemed to be continuing in the normal fashion, but if he had to hang around here any longer then it was unlikely that his eyes would ever function the same way again.  
  
'Sir.. do you require any further assistance? If not I will go and try to find a way to find my master, the Saiyans and the Namekian'.  
  
The Grand Kai almost wept in relief, 'no, of course I don't. You go find them then'.  
  
Carefully watching the retreating back of the pink giant, the Grand Kai unceremoniously dumped the Orb onto the glittery floor and heaved a sigh of relief as Kibito slunk out of the room, still partially blinded. That guy really freaked him out.... he had to feel kind of sorry for the Supreme Kai, whoever it was.  
  
Glaring at the Orb, the Grand Kai slumped backwards in the pile of cushions to stare at the shimmering ceiling in a bored stupor - it seemed that the universe was perfectly capable of managing itself without him. Kibito was just being paranoid, after all, if there's a possibility that something is supporting the existence of life, the universe and everything, then it generally isn't a good idea to experiment with what would happen if you took it away.  
  
*  
  
Harry blinked as the castle before him seemed to flicker, and then flicker completely from view. Being a human, he was incapable of seeing the universal fabric swirling around them as Goku heaved himself and the three young wizards from one area to another miles away. However what he did see was the sudden appearance of a misty lake surrounded by ominous weeping willows.  
  
Hermione let go of the Saiyan's armband and stared at him in amazement, 'you could do that without a Portkey?!'  
  
Goku stared at her with a look of utter confusion, 'what's a Portkey? This is called Instant Transmission; it's a fighting technique'.  
  
Ron shuddered; he'd hate to imagine someone using this particular technique in a fight.. just thinking of where this guy's opponent could end up was rather unpleasant.  
  
Harry squinted through the dense cover of the forest enveloping them, 'wasn't Gohan going to meet us here?'  
  
Goku nodded, 'yeah, they should be somewhere nearby, but I can't sense their Ki very easily here'.  
  
A deafening bloodthirsty roar issued from the depths of the forest, causing Ron, Hermione and Harry to leap backwards in fear, but Goku's face to brighten as he stepped forward.  
  
'HEY VEGETA!! CAN YOU HEAR ME??'  
  
Harry glanced at the Saiyan, debating whether or not this was the best of ideas he'd had all day. It was unlikely that anything would attack them with the aliens nearby, or at least unlikely that the attacks would be effective.  
  
The answering cry came from Gohan. 'DAD? WHERE ARE YOU?!'  
  
Goku grinned at the trio, 'this way, come on!' And the fighter took off through the underbrush, travelling at a speed just slow enough for them to follow without getting hopelessly lost, but fast enough for them to think that they were.  
  
When Harry stumbled, panting and heaving into the lighter clearing, his decision to come with the aliens in search of the children was immediately shuffled to the position of worst idea he'd had this year.  
  
Gohan, Vegeta, Piccolo and the Supreme Kai were surrounded by an intimidating group of centaurs, in varying stages of anxiety, concern and boredom. It appeared that one of the centaurs had fired an arrow at Vegeta - there was a small nick on the prince's arm and a chestnut centaur moaning on the ground beside a charred quiver.  
  
The largest centaur, his flanks a deep blue-black and expression murderous, turned sharply towards the line of trees as Goku came crashing through in no show of dignity. His iron-grey eyes then widened in recognition as the three wizards came stumbling after.  
  
'You! You humans have been warned many times before, I will not tolerate this insult!'  
  
With unnerving speed, the centaur drew his bow, cocked and released a sharply-tipped hunting arrow. Barely thinking, Gohan fired a compacted Ki blast, catching the arrow in mid air and sending it smoking to the ground. There was a sudden pain in his back as three centaurs behind him had fired their own arrows, each catching the demi-Saiyan in the spine. There was no way such weapons could threaten the safety of the young man, but it wasn't much fun being treated like a pin cushion just the same.  
  
Charging up a Ki-shield, Gohan burned away the feathered tips of the arrows deeply embedded in his back and discharged the metallic tips. The watching centaurs backed away, expressions unreadable, but cautious just the same. Bane turned to Gohan, a look of dawning comprehension writ over his aged face.  
  
'You're not human, nor are you a wizard.... the aliens Hagrid told us about?'  
  
Gohan nodded, never breaking eye contact with the wise centaurian. This was like some kind of test, which could only really be expected after someone suddenly drops from the sky and hits you in the chest so hard you keel over backwards. Not very dignified for any centaur, let alone Bane.  
  
Arrows were returned to their quivers, bows strung over backs and the circle disbanded. Goku, Harry, Hermione and Ron moved over to join the others as Bane surveyed them carefully.  
  
'I am afraid that I do not have good news for you. The two foals you seek came this way, appearing unable to pinpoint the location of the castle. They were followed by a wizard disguised as a crow for some time until they discovered him. Their discovery was made too late though and they were attacked, knocked unconscious and taken off towards the mountains. The small one with black hair managed to kill their new attacker, but was defeated by the disguised human'.  
  
Vegeta snapped, voice incredulous, 'how could any mere human defeat those boys?! They both carry Saiyan blood in their veins.... My son!'  
  
Bane shook his head, 'they were caught by surprise and not even raw power can overcome a spell. Speed perhaps, but not power'.  
  
Vegeta looked away, face unreadable, but pure fury irradiating from every pore. Goku's expression was serious, 'where exactly did they go?'  
  
'After hearing from Hagrid who these children were we began to follow the path we had seen the Death Eater take. I believe that there may be a hideout in the northern mountains; its exact location I cannot say, but you should be able to find it'.  
  
Goku nodded, 'thank you'. Turning to the adolescent mages standing beside him, Goku spoke sombrely, 'if these wizards were able to overpower the boys, then this is pretty serious - I could take you back to the castle if you want, or you can help us to find the hideout. It will be dangerous though, and I don't want to put your lives in any unnecessary danger'.  
  
Harry shook his head, 'we've fought Voldemort and his Death Eaters before; we could help you in some way. Besides, we want to help you as much as we can... I lost my godfather last year to the Death Eaters; I don't want you to lose your family either'.  
  
Gohan stared at Harry, unaware that the young wizard had lost so much.. Gohan had known about his parents, but not about his godfather - perhaps if they ever got out of this parallel universe and found his brother, maybe he could help..  
  
*  
  
Massive black wings pounding through the crisp mountain air, the elegant dark Pegasus gingerly manoeuvred his way onto a narrow outcrop on the face of a sheer jagged cliff. Iron-shod hooves clattered onto the slippery stone surface and Macnair dismounted, the two demi-Saiyans still magically bound now floating eerily alongside him.  
  
With a malicious grin, the black robed and cowled Death Eater swung an iron gauntleted hand and smacked the scarred creature hard on the rump, ridges biting deep into sensitive flesh. A strangled scream issued from the great horse's mouth, wings thrashing as the creature fought to gain height away from his new master. There was nowhere for him to go but a barren ledge within the magical bindings where he could await his next summoning.  
  
Chuckling brutally to himself, Macnair rolled up his right sleeve, exposing the livid Dark Mark on his upper arm and pressed it carefully against the icy rock of the mountain. The Mark flashed scarlet once, and left a burning imprint on the rocky face before sinking into the stone. Where the Mark was, a trap door appeared, complete with handle in the shape of a writhing serpent emerging from the eye socket of a skull.  
  
Macnair, Goten and Trunks entered the narrow stone passageway - Macnair ducking to avoid being decapitated by random stalactites threatening to bludgeon all in their path. After what seemed like several miles of staggering in pitch blackness, the passage erupted into a freezing stone chamber, tastefully decorated with massive snake sculptures and the odd Death Eater standing guard.  
  
With a casual nod to the masked guardians, Macnair beckoned towards the still-sleeping boys, 'something that might interest the Master. Dolohov's stuff is mine'.  
  
One of the Death Eaters stepped forward, eyes narrowed behind the skull mask, 'you'll be in trouble if you're wasting the Dark Lord's time today - it hasn't been a good one'.  
  
Macnair winced inwardly; if his lordship wasn't having a good day, it would probably be a good idea to stay as far away as possible. But with the chance that these two horrors could wake up at any moment, it wasn't a good one.  
  
He glared through the eye-slits his mask allowed, 'my business is important. Let me past'.  
  
The door behind the two guards rolled back, presenting yet another appealing stone corridor to crawl through. Muttering to himself, Macnair pressed onwards, ignoring the guards whispering behind his back.  
  
After an eternity, he reached the final chamber door, emblazoned with carved serpents with emeralds for eyes. The snakes seemed to leer at him through the musty gloom, sneering at his stumbling advance. Macnair glared back, extending one trembling hand to rap his knuckles sharply on the granite door. Before he could complete the action though, the door swung inwards to admit him, temporarily blinding the Death Eater as bright firelight burst from within.  
  
Tiptoeing as quietly and inoffensively as possible into the chamber, the door swung back to its original place, almost removing Macnair's elbow in the process as he attempted to slowly enter. A venomous snicker came from a high armchair in front of the fire.  
  
'What gift have you brought the Dark Lord, Macnair? Two little children that cost the fool Dolohov's life? He should have been more careful..'  
  
Macnair couldn't work out where the master was addressing him in third person or was talking about Dolohov, but decided to risk speaking.  
  
'My lord, I humbly apologise for invading on your time like this, but these two children possess a strange power I have never witnessed before. I... I thought it may be useful to you'.  
  
The snicker gave way to a gentle snort, 'and what strange power would this be? Mental prowess perhaps? Or maybe intelligence?'  
  
It would not be polite or good for his future health to respond to that decided Macnair in an unusual flash of brilliance. 'Master, one of them killed Dolohov with a beam of light shot from his hands. Neither of them used a wand but both of them have incredible power in their bodies. Is it possible that they could be used as weapons?'  
  
A deafening silence ensued, during which Macnair proceeded to have an elaborate slideshow of his life, until finally Voldemort spoke.  
  
'Very good Macnair. I would never I given you credit for such thought'.  
  
Another silence, this time punctured by a sudden thump. Voldemort rolled one soulless eye towards the floor where Macnair had just collapsed in a dead faint.  
  
'Very well. I take it back'.  
  
*  
  
wild-filly: ^_^ more apologies to Kaye... I must say I'm flattered that you enjoy my writing enough to issue death threats on late updates  
  
Yami Bakura: let me get this straight.... you punish US for death threats, and thank your reviewers for them?!  
  
Wild-filly: *puzzled* I punish you?  
  
Yami Bakura: we're still here aren't we?!  
  
Wild-filly: -_- I think I'll choose to ignore that. Ok, thanks go to the last reviewers ^_^  
  
Kaye  
  
Niori  
  
MoonWraith 


	15. Chapter 14

Wild-filly: *shuffles feet and has decency to look embarrassed* heh..... sorry?  
  
*Is swatted violently with leftover protest signs by various muses who have been out of work for some time*  
  
Wild-filly: Hey no fair! *knocks muses out of way and returns to keyboard* Am very sorry, but suffered from severe writers block at the same time discovered Naruto and have thus spent every spare computer moment reading the manga and trying to bully my computer into downloading the episodes.  
  
Kaioshin: -_- wild-filly takes her anime very seriously, and wholeheartedly recommends that EVERYONE reading this tries Naruto, as the person who made it is a huge DBZ fan and the series itself is superb.  
  
Wild-filly: ^_^ I may even introduce a new muse.... However he is proving less than easy to kidnap and force to help me write chapters and waste nice readers' time, so I'll get back to you on that next disclaimer.  
  
Kaioshin: *coughs*  
  
Wild-filly: O.O oh yeah, the disclaimer  
  
Disclaimer: Don't own, therefore kindly don't sue, because if you do you will simply be wasting your time as I still don't own anything remotely of value ^_^  
  
***Chapter 14***  
  
Drifting lazily on the cool thermals rippling above the low mountain range, Gohan silently cursed the lack of ki-signature readings here. Back home it would be a piece of cake to locate his brother, even if he and Trunks were suppressing their Ki after breaking or stealing something of Gohan's and fleeing for their lives. Now, it was as if he had lost a major sense; it was like not being able to open one eye.  
  
Vegeta flew a little way off from the group, face giving away no clues as to what he was feeling, but a strong sense of frustration and perhaps even of anxiety surrounded the air about him. Piccolo surveyed the emotionless warrior quietly, continuing his scan of the terrain from the air, yet one eye always fixed on the troubled Saiyan. The stubborn prince would be the last to admit it, but he truly was concerned for the well being of his son.  
  
Tripping ungracefully over a rocky outcrop, Harry sprawled on the mossy ground, nursing a gashed knee. The sharp marble had torn right through his black robes and now left an unpleasant streak of blood along the edges of his robe and trickling down his leg. Hermione clambered awkwardly over the uneven ground over to him.  
  
'Harry, are you alright?'  
  
Harry gritted his teeth and struggled back to his feet, trying to ignore the numbing pain crawling down his leg to join the gently oozing blood. Hermione covered her mouth with one hand in dismay as she noticed the deep cut, 'we'd better put a bandage or something over that. I'm not properly qualified to heal it with magic'.  
  
Harry shook his head stubbornly, 'don't worry, I'm fine. Where's Ron?'  
  
Hermione jerked her head towards an off-shooting valley, 'him and Goku headed over there; if he sees anything he'll shoot off sparks and either us or the ones in the air will see him'.  
  
Harry nodded, gingerly stepping forward towards the next bit of vaguely flat ground. A sharp jolt of pain shot up his leg, but he bit his lip and steadfastly ignored it. There was no way he was going to quit now just because of some stupid little cut leg – there were two children kidnapped by the evillest man in the world out here somewhere, and he had to help get them back in any way he could.  
  
Hermione sighed in exasperation, flyaway hair trawling over her face. If Harry passed out from blood loss, maybe then he'd see sense to ask for help. What was it with male egos? Didn't he remember that one of the aliens was a healer? Either way, they had more urgent matters to attend to. Harry would come to his senses in time, or lose them completely; which ever came sooner.  
  
Gohan did not observe this exchange, instead his glide brought him alongside a particularly forbidding cliff face. There were bigger mountains back home, and more treacherous cliffs, but this one seemed rather unusual for this world, let alone country. Sliding to a stop and hovering pensively in midair, Gohan pondered over just what had caught his attention about this particular cliff. The others surrounding it seemed almost identical, but something irked him about this one.  
  
Head cocked to one side in the classic "confused Son pose", Gohan floated cross-legged in the air, looking startlingly like his father who continued to unsuccessfully locate the boys as he too had several unscheduled meetings with the rather unforgiving ground. What was so special about this particular cliff?  
  
Then he saw it.  
  
*  
  
Cold black eyes casually avoiding the limp body of the fainted Death Eater, the Dark Lord unfolded from his high armchair, lithe form shrouded almost entirely by jet-black robes save only his head. Lord Voldemort appeared in considerably better health than when he had first emerged from the depths of Wormtail's cauldron; not quite so skinny, yet his face remained pallid, eyes snakelike and devoid of emotion.  
  
Striding in a slow, strangely elegant gait, he crossed the hearth to where the snoring boys hovered, bound in shimmering bindings, in the air. Smoothly drawing out a black wand from a hidden pocket in his sleeve, Voldemort murmured an overpowering spell, taking control of Macnair's former charges and releasing the bindings.  
  
Clattering to the floor like loose toys, the two demi-Saiyans thudded onto the densely carpeted hearth, still deep in slumber. The Dark Lord's eyes narrowed to near slits, delving through their minds like a thief in a pyramid, breaking into every corner and exposing every thought laid prone by the innocence of sleep. They were not of this world. They weren't even fully human.  
  
The Dark Lord snorted softly to himself. He himself was no longer fully human; no longer could he be any judge of humanity. These children whoever, were probably even less so than him.  
  
Voldemort had never held much interest in the alien paranoia of muggles and a very obscure branch of the Department of Mysteries, due to the simple fact that he wasn't interested in anything apart from himself. If these two possessed unusual powers due to an alien background, then that was just fate and could easily be manipulated to suit his gain.  
  
Two young, impressionable half-bloods. True their muggle heritage was nothing special, but the warrior blood infused in their veins and wired through their minds was incredible. Too easy would it be to ensnare their minds and use them as puppets. Dumbledore wouldn't kill children, but he may be killed by them.  
  
A low, echoing laugh erupted from the chilled chamber, filling the twisting corridors with a sense of foreboding. If the Dark Lord was happy, then someone somewhere was about to become VERY unhappy, very quickly.  
  
*  
  
'Dad! Piccolo! OVER HERE!'  
  
Gohan stood perched on the rocky ledge, peering intently at the smoother surface of the cliff face. Piccolo's sharp Namekian hearing caught the cry first and the fighter plummeted from the air, diving towards where his former pupil balanced with a look of intense concentration on the ledge below.  
  
From where he was grumbling, trying to extract his leg from a hidden crevice that had suddenly leapt up from where it had been lurking and grabbed the Saiyan's ankle with murderous intent, Son Goku looked up and tried to locate the sound of his eldest son's voice. He could see the fluttering of Piccolo's cape diving down behind an outcrop just a couple of hundred metres ahead of where he was currently trapped. Grinning in relief, Goku gently tapped the ground near where his foot was stuck, creating a series of fissures in the solid rock. Easing his foot from the gap, Goku scanned the area for where the teenagers had disappeared off to.  
  
Ron had met similar problems as to Goku, however was unable to free himself with such ease and his ankle was wedged firmly down a rabbit hole, complete with furry inhabitants not appreciating the sudden door installation. Goku glided over to where Ron was scrabbling the ground for his wand, which had conveniently jumped from his grasp in time of need and was nestled comfortably in a clump of weeds. Seizing him by the shoulders, Goku casually lifted the violently protesting wizard and dumped him on the ground beside his escaped wand.  
  
'Gohan's found something, I'll have to carry you and the others up to the cliff ok?'  
  
Ron stammered furiously, but was not given any opportunity, or notice to respond as Goku grabbed him by the shoulder again and materialised instantaneously on the narrow ledge. Gohan smiled as Ron hurriedly pinned himself against the cliff, edging back from the sheer drop barely a metre away.  
  
'We've found the entrance'.  
  
Tearing his eyes away from the certain death or at least, certain pain just before him, Ron's eyes gingerly surveyed the surface he was standing on. There were deep gouges in the rock beneath him, as though something metallic had ground into them for some time. Something waving gently in the crisp breeze flickered in his range of view. It was a little lock of snagged horsehair caught between two rocks.  
  
Comprehension dawned in Ron's eyes, 'they were taken by a Death Eater on some kind of horse thing, weren't they?'  
  
Gohan nodded, 'I'm sure there's a concealed entrance or something here, since this ledge has the most scrapes in it. Quite a few of the large ledges have some of these marks too, but not as deep'.  
  
Vegeta hovered beside Piccolo, bored concentration writ across his face, 'shall I simply blast our way in, or is there more to this entrance than meets the eye?'  
  
Goku reappeared, this time floating in midair with Harry hanging onto one arm and Hermione gripping the other. Neither seemed very happy with this particular turn of events.  
  
Gohan fixed the probable doorway with an annoyed glare, 'there has to be some way of opening it without alerting everyone that we're here. I know it's inevitable that they'll find out, but I'd rather not have them use Goten or Trunks as hostages too soon'.  
  
Hermione tore her gaze away from the unpleasant ground below and pensively surveyed the stone surface, murmuring to herself as she thought out loud.  
  
'They must use the Dark Mark or something to enter, since it's something that all Death Eaters have and can be used to identify them. If Voldemort were to use the entrance himself, he'd use something different since he doesn't have a tattoo to the best of our knowledge......... but what?'  
  
Something opened in Harry's mind, a brief moment of recognition. Something Dumbledore had said, something that had bothered him for sometime.  
  
'Goku? Could you let me stand on the ledge for a moment?'  
  
Goku glanced at the thin adolescent in surprise, 'sure, do you have an idea?'  
  
'I think so. I'll need to try it though'.  
  
Gohan slid off the ledge to allow Harry more room to manoeuvre his way to the freezing stone, Ron watched carefully as Harry groped down his leg, fingers disappearing into a deep tear in the robe's fabric. Wincing, Harry withdrew his fingers, now smeared with his own blood, spilt on the marble outcrop below.  
  
Tentatively, he pressed his hand against the icy rock, grimacing at the cold and pain of his leg combined. Taking back his hand, the fingerprinted blood stood stark on the iron-grey stone. Nothing happened. Just as Harry was about to sigh and say that he didn't know what else to do, the blood vanished, sinking deep into the mountain.  
  
A burnished gold handle appeared, skull and snake motif even more carefully fashioned; this was the Dark Lord's own door. Seizing the handle, Harry twisted and pushed. The ornate door swung silently open, revealing the pitch-black pathway within.  
  
*  
  
Remus Lupin clattered through the door into Dumbledore's office, breathing heavily and robes in disarray.  
  
'Sorry I took so long Dumbledore, do you know that something has happened to your gargoyle?'  
  
Dumbledore smiled benignly, 'I am aware, don't worry about it Remus'.  
  
Shuffling over to the desk where Snape, McGonagal, Hagrid, Flitwick, Tonks and Moody were already congregated, Lupin moved into a better viewpoint where Albus sat in his squashy armchair. Snape curled his upper lip in distaste, pointedly standing further from Lupin than was completely necessary while Tonks grinned amiably at her comrade.  
  
Dumbledore cleared his throat, 'as some of you already know, our castle has been visited by some strangers who are in fact not of this dimension, the problem however, is that two of them have been taken captive by Voldemort, who is more than capable of exploiting this "gifts". These gifts of theirs' are exceptionally powerful, not of magic origins at all, but something else. They are perfectly able to kill or maim without use of wand or any tool, yet they have offered us no violence in the least. Under mind control, however, we have no such guarantee'.  
  
Moody's magical eye went haywire, sliding in and out of focus, 'some branch of dark art?'  
  
Dumbledore shook his head, 'no, it's some sort of spiritual energy to do with martial arts'.  
  
Moody blinked in surprise, 'they're muggles?'  
  
'Not quite – none of them are entirely human and all are capable of magic in varying degrees'.  
  
Lupin sighed, 'what do the captives look like?'  
  
'No older than nine years each, just like normal children apart from their hairstyles and gifts'.  
  
Tonks' eyes flashed, 'Death Eaters kidnapped children to use as weapons?!'  
  
'It would appear so. Their gifts are extraordinary and I have no doubts that they stand on similar or even greater levels than the adults'.  
  
Hagrid growled, gripping the shaft of his crossbow even tighter, 'have you a plan for us, Professor Dumbledore, sir?'  
  
Dumbledore's eyes darkened, 'yes...... but we cannot act yet. We must wait for the aliens to find and recover the children. There is a possibility that they may prove a match for Voldemort but if they don't, then they will require assistance. It is vital that none of they die here. Especially the small purple elven one, as he is in fact their ruling deity'.  
  
One of Lupin's eyes twitched. This was definitely a mission never to forget.  
  
*  
  
wild-filly: once again I apologise for the very late update, I've just been having a real time of it with homework – I have NOT stopped writing any of my fanfics, I just don't always have enough to time to update as often as I should ^_^ sorry about that! 


	16. Chapter 15

Wild-filly: sorry about that slump in updates, had a nasty attack of school -_-;;  
  
Kaioshin: wild-filly and introductory calculus don't appreciate each other's company at all, as most of the nearby population will vouch for *glares at author*  
  
Wild-filly: *innocent expression* who, me?  
  
Kaioshin: -_- just get on with the notices will you?  
  
Wild-filly: oh yeah ^_^ Many thanks to all the reviewers! It's been a while since I last got so many in such a short time frame ^___________^ Thank you to Chobits89, bLacKBodian, Kid Gohan, vegetas-lover-forever, Kaye and SS112488 for their comments and support.  
  
Lol, I apologise to bLacKBodian for messing around with the SSJ forms, but SSJ 4 appears in DBGT and I just couldn't resist making that comment with Gohan and his unfortunate colouring at the time ^_^;;   
  
The time setting is a little messed up, I know, but I chose it because it works best for the fic in my opinion and also a couple of my own personal vendettas against characters and plot twists in the actual series.........  
  
Disclaimer: Still don't own, and it is unlikely that I ever will *sighs and turns to Kaioshin with dejected expression*  
  
Kaioshin: O.o;; what do you want me to do about it?!  
  
Wild-filly: that's a good question, I'll get back to you on that one.......  
  
***Chapter 15***  
  
Goku blinked, a wide grin spreading over his face, 'wow! How'd you work out to do that?!'  
  
Harry stared resolutely at the gleaming handle, a cold glare of resentment, 'because Voldemort accidentally placed a part of himself in me when he gave me my scar. Voldemort wouldn't need a password or anything like that to get into this place'.  
  
Gohan stared at Harry in shock, glancing over at Ron and Hermione's wooden expressions, gazing at Harry with visible pity. Ron tentatively shuffled over to Harry, about to rest a hand on his shoulder, but the other teenager jerked forward into the passage.  
  
'Come on. We may not have much time'.  
  
Eyes fixed firmly on the path ahead, the low rock headway that had admitted Macnair had contorted instead into a grand series of archways, carved with marble serpents entwining their way up the cavernous ceiling. It was like the Chamber of Secrets all over again. Without the water. And hopefully without the snake with the serious eye disorder.  
  
Ron filed after him, eyeing the décor miserably, 'not a chance we've got the wrong place, is there?' He queried mournfully. Goku gently set Hermione down on the ledge, grasping her hand for balance as she too entered the passage. She shook her head in disgust as the first glowing- eyed snake loomed from the darkness, 'beyond a doubt'.  
  
Goku leapt enthusiastically through the door, almost slamming face-first into the first statue, 'YAH! Who's bright idea was it to put that there?!'  
  
Gohan groaned inwardly as he stepped cautiously into the corridor after him, 'come on dad, we'd better keep up in case they run into trouble'.  
  
Vegeta snorted in distaste as he took in the towering serpent pillars, shaking his head in disgust. Great. An even more deranged megalomaniac whose bad taste in goals extended to interior decorating. Almost as bad as the inside of Frieza's ship.....  
  
Harry pressed on down the snaking passage *A/N: wild-filly: ^_^;; pardon the unintentional and very bad pun there*, squinting into the gloom for the slightest hint of an ambush. There was a faint buzz of conversation ahead. A couple of people must be in a chamber ahead of them. Who were they? How would they get past them?  
  
*  
  
And where, during all this, was the source of the whole tangled issue, little Dende? Well, little Dende was recovering in the local drunk tank after being hauled off the bar floor and dumped in the street, where he had conversed loudly with passers-by until being picked up by a kindly police officer.  
  
The young Namekian groaned. Hangovers were worse when you were Guardian of Earth and had to drink even more than normal world citizens to become drunk, but still had the same level of aftershock no matter the alcohol effects. Peering through slitted eyes, his brain fuzzily noted that the sun was brighter than was decent. He would have to see to that little detail when he got back to work.  
  
Work? Where did he work again?  
  
The murky light leaking through the barred window of the darkened room continued to cause offence, so the little Namek buried his head deep into the alcohol-soaked sleeve of his robe, pondering over how the pounding inside his head could be hurting his ears when it wasn't occurring outside of his head. There was also the matter that his robes appeared to have developed the texture of sandpaper and smelt like something you'd find on a barroom floor. What was sandpaper for anyway?  
  
Ah, the philosophical musings of the outrageously drunk.  
  
There was a rattle of keys and a click of heels as the charitable policewoman strode into the room, glass of water in hand. She tapped the moaning Dende's shoulder, 'how many troubles were you trying to forget today?'  
  
Wincing as the light launched another attack on his defenceless eyes, Dende mumbled into a mouthful of sleeve, 'can't remember...... something about sending some aliens into another dimension and the Supreme god's bodyguard trying to kill me for upsetting the universal balance'.  
  
Unfortunately, the poor officer heard every word as clear as crystal. Forcing the chilled glass into the dazed Namek's limp hand, she patted him carefully on the shoulder. Perhaps the drink was a last-ditch effort to cover up a mental defect of some form. Perhaps her young friend had been dabbling in something a little stronger than alcohol. Either way, he needed a little more help than a dark room and cup of water.  
  
She slipped into a side office, painted nails clacking as she picked up the pale receiver and tapped in a number.  
  
'Hello, Satan City Mental Aid Asylum? This is Officer Rendal, I have a young male here who requires your help........'  
  
Half an hour later, Dende was pondering over the mechanics of a bathroom sink when two gentlemen dressed all in white emerged through the cell door.  
  
Grudgingly focussing his protesting eyes on the newcomers, Dende growled, 'I swear to God I'm not drunk...... happy now?'  
  
One of the nice men sat down next to Dende, a falsely cheery smile on his face, 'don't worry sir, we're here to help you'.  
  
The Namekian's brain, even in its alcohol soaked state, instantly flashed onto red-alert-possible-hazard mode. 'Why shouldn't I worry, why do I need help?'  
  
Lurching to his feet and blearily searching for the nearest escape, the floor dodged the Guardian's attempt to stand on it and he ploughed into a wall before catching up with gravity and rescheduling his appointment with the ground. Seizing the Namek's arms before he hit the concrete surface, the two mental asylum officials carefully hauled Dende to his feet and half walked, half carried him out of the cell and into a large white van.  
  
As Dende mumbled bitterly to himself, the officials exchanged glances as they took in the distinctive skin hue and head accessories of their newest patient. This guy was going to be in for a loooooooong time.  
  
*  
  
Vegeta and Piccolo finally caught up to the rest of the odd little group as they reached a stalemate of what to do next.  
  
'If we take out the Death Eaters, we'll get a clear passage straight to Voldemort', argued Harry, 'we have to get to him as soon as possible!'  
  
'I know Harry', chastised Hermione anxiously, 'but if we make too much noise then we'll be at a disadvantage by alerting even more Death Eaters to attack'.  
  
Ron sighed, gazing hopefully back down the passage from which they came and noticing the pensive expressions of Goku and Gohan. 'Do either of you have a better idea?'  
  
Gohan hesitated, 'I'd have to agree that we shouldn't make much noise.......'  
  
'I on the other hand, disagree'.  
  
There was a colossal explosion from behind where Gohan, Goku and the three young mages stood. A massive beam of light scorched over Ron's head, lighting the dark passage as it twisted around a corner and out of sight. Two cries of surprise were abruptly silenced as a huge flash of blue fire engulfed the chamber.  
  
Peering cautiously into the serpent-girt room, Harry sneezed as a great wave of smoke surged forward to welcome him. The chamber had probably started out in the same way as the passage; dark, highly-polished and very into snakes. Thanks to the decorating skills of Vegeta, it now resembled something from a wartime movie, most likely in the middle of a shell-torn city. Not even such expensive marble could remain in one piece after a blast like that.  
  
Goku eyed Vegeta lazily over one shoulder, 'that wasn't very subtle of you'.  
  
Vegeta smirked in return, 'could you expect anything less?'  
  
Gohan sighed and took the lead, pushing past Harry and entering the chamber first, wary for any sign of other Death Eaters appearing. Vegeta's ki- blast tended to be a hard thing to ignore, no matter how far away from the scene you were. Yet nothing stirred from the depths of the chipped marble, stone dust and random pieces of stone ceiling cluttering the once-spotless floor. It was most disconcerting.  
  
'Come on, I think it's this way'.  
  
Aiming straight ahead for the bare skeleton of the next chamber door that had barely survived the wrath of Vegeta's greeting to the door guards, Gohan easily ambled through the piles of misplaced rock while the two wizards and witch clambered awkwardly over and around. It was an unpleasant thought that the vapourized remains of two or more Death Eaters lingered in this room, and not one that was worth dwelling on for any length of time.  
  
Gohan's dusty fingers reached for the door, this handle was a curved serpent in the shape of a doorknocker that seemed to have too many teeth for a snake, let alone supposedly harmless piece of metal. Before he could wrap a decent grip around the heated metal, it moved beneath his fingers. Someone else was turning the handle from the other side.  
  
Releasing the handle and leaping back as though he had just been scalded, Gohan gave a yelp of warning, 'someone's coming!'  
  
Piccolo stepped forward, roughly but firmly pushing Hermione and Ron off to one side and back, out of immediate danger. Harry sidestepped automatically, but refused to slip out of view. He was not going to show fear of his parents' murderer.  
  
The heavy pockmarked door creaked open, upsetting another pile of rock and sending a new cloud of dust to circulate the room. Blinking and squinting, Gohan silently cursed the not-so-strategic ki-blast of the Saiyan prince. Without the ability to sense ki readings and being partially blinded by the marble dust the demi-Saiyan felt more than a little vulnerable. Slipping back into a stance practised intensively since the age of five and a half, Gohan vaguely noticed his father, mentor, sadistic acquaintance and ruling deity move into their own attack positions, alert for the entry of their foe.  
  
The door completed its swinging arch with a dull thud against the opposite wall, echoing painfully through the darkened chamber. A thin waft of light issued from the new passage exposed, throwing two silhouettes into relief. The shadows of two small children.  
  
Gohan relaxed, smiling, 'hey Goten! Trunks! It's us, we're going to take you back now'.  
  
A cold silence whirled through the room with the restless dust. Neither of the boys moved; their eyes fixed on Gohan with a deadened expression. Goku swallowed apprehensively. Something very similar had happened to him and Vegeta when they joined Super Buu's lunch menu.  
  
'Gohan! Get away from them!'  
  
The demi-Saiyan lunged to one side just in time to swerve away from a ki- blast that would have put Vegeta's redecorating move to shame. Goku and Piccolo seized Ron and Hermione and hastily pushed them out of the beam's path, moving them to stand by Harry. Vegeta glowered. This was the second time something like this had happened to the essence of his son. This time, however, it was not just the essence.  
  
A high, cold laugh rang through the chamber, snatching the attentions of the Z fighters back to the passage entrance. Somehow they had been snuck up on from the opposite side by a mere human, without even basic ki- manipulation skills. Lord Voldemort grinned mirthlessly, snakelike eyes flashing with malice.  
  
'Even more of these aliens? Why, that old fool Dumbledore must be capturing you by the herd'.  
  
The sudden barrage of lethal ki-blasts was countered by a magical shield, thrown up just in time by the Dark lord as Vegeta expressed his disgust at being referred to in such demeaning terms. Shaking his head condescendingly, Voldemort snickered brutally, turning his attentions to the heavily-breathing Saiyan.  
  
Vegeta couldn't believe it, 'what the hell did you do?! You wizards can't create ki-shields, what the hell is going on?' Utter shock and great disturbance rampaged across the seasoned warrior's face. This opponent now merited careful consideration.  
  
Voldemort ignored the Saiyan prince, turning his attentions to the two boys at the opposite end of the room, eyes still bluntly piercing Gohan. His eyes narrowed, quietly observing Gohan's intense inner struggle. Kaioshin silently strode to stand at Gohan's elbow, hatred writ over his face and an edge to his voice.  
  
'They are not your brother or friend in mind, Gohan. This is a form of mind control'.  
  
Voldemort regarded the little lavender deity with a thoughtful expression, 'even though all of you, apart from you three', he threw Harry, Ron and Hermione a special leer, 'are aliens, you are the most unusual. How do you know so much about wizard craft, when it is apparent that none of you possess any great skill for magic?'  
  
Goku observed a vein twitch on Supreme Kai's forehead. That was certainly unusual. Well, I suppose you would feel pretty insulted if you were a several thousand year-old god responsible for overseeing the universe and manipulating dangerous powers being told by a mere mortal, scarcely a fraction of your power and even less age that you were a hopeless case. But... the mild Kai enraged? That was something you didn't see everyday. Most of the Z team were privately certain that part of the Supreme Kai training-course including completely detaching yourself from emotion.  
  
Undiluted fury slid from every syllable, 'I know far more than you can comprehend, the one who once called himself Tom Marvolo Riddle and now isn't human enough to wear any name other than your own brand Voldemort'.  
  
The Dark Lord smirked widely, 'you will prove most useful. I was unaware that any of you creatures would be skilled in Occulamency as well as combat techniques'. Turning his attentions to Harry, riveted to his spot on the chalky floor, Voldemort spat mockingly, 'don't you see what the fool Dumbledore has done, Harry? What your precious hero has done for the world? You've helped as well, after all, you wouldn't have been able to bring them here if it wasn't for that spawn of the muggle-lover's incompetence'. His glare flickered to Ron, now pale with horror and rage at the insult to his family.  
  
Voldemort casually nodded towards the two boys, stock-still in the doorway and completely unaware of what was happening. 'You have provided me with two tools that no wizard but I can control or defend against. My congratulations and condolences. I did not even need my Death Eaters to come and interfere with this little session in which you three meet your demise and the rest of these animals are recruited'. He gestured easily with one hand.  
  
'Kill'.  
  
Harry froze as the two boys jerked to life as though puppets awakened by their controller. The demi-Saiyans began to perform some sort of strange ritual of movements, much to the confusion of Ron, Harry and Hermione.  
  
Ron, despite his fear, nudged Piccolo who had not moved from his stance beside him, 'what are they doing?'  
  
Piccolo's answering growl did not fill him with hope. 'They are preparing for their strongest attack that will prove harmful to even the strongest of us. My suggestion is that you try to stay out of harm's way and do exactly as you're told when the time comes'.  
  
Hermione tentatively joined Ron by Piccolo, 'do you have a plan?'  
  
Piccolo frowned, 'not yet. Wait until Gotenks engages in combat with one of the Saiyans, then we'll have a little more time to come up with something'.  
  
'Gotenks?' queried Harry, curious despite the paranoia of the entire scene.  
  
'-HAAAAA!' A great flash of light temporarily blinded all who were not prepared for it, the Dark Lord reeling back slightly in surprise. Harry painfully tried to refocus his eyes, the boys had gone, there was only one of them. Where had the other child gone?  
  
Gotenks. Goten and Trunks' names combined. Of course.  
  
Gohan gave a dramatic sigh, 'shall I go first, dad?'  
  
Goku nodded, 'if you want son, we'll try to break the wizard's control while you keep the boys busy'.  
  
A tight smile formed on Gohan's face, crackling sparks flooding from his hands, 'I think we'll have to find a different arena'.  
  
Voldemort's pale face took on an even whiter hue as the demi-Saiyan blasted a skylight through the mountain and leapt into the air, Gotenks powering up to Super Saiyan as he followed, driving even more chips of marble from the once-elegant stone chamber. He hadn't delved very far into the boys' minds as far as standard battle engagements went. The Dark Lord didn't feel vulnerable at all, even though he was surrounded by some of the most feared fighters in an alternate universe, a vertically challenged god and three shell-shocked adolescents. In fact, here he could sort out a little problem that had begun to fester more than fifteen years ago...  
  
*  
  
wild-filly: ^_^ sorry this one has taken so long to post, the next one will be up much faster, I promise!  
  
Kaioshin: Finally some plot is starting to come into play.... -_- it's about time  
  
Wild-filly: Yes! ^_^ *victory dance* I have the whole conclusion all planned out, so there isn't any threat of me discontinuing this fic.... It took me this long to think up an ending, I'm not wasting it now!  
  
Please review! It's wonderful to be bullied into writing another chapter faster ^_^ 


	17. Chapter 16

Wild-filly: Even more apologies for the delay – last weeks of school resulted in every teacher throwing as many tests at me as they could muster -__- To my disgust, I was forced to spend every available moment studying. Add that to some very impressive writer's block for the fic (despite the fact I know exactly what I want to write) and you have a rather flimsy excuse for my update crash ^_^;;; forgive me???  
  
Kaioshin: *snoring under computer desk*  
  
Wild-filly: -_- All the muses have been out of work for too long... Guess I'll have to do the disclaimer myself... oh the tragedy of it all.  
  
Disclaimer: *crickets chirp* ..... Without muses to annoy I'm having trouble thinking of something original to do - I FEEL SO ALONE!!!!!!!!!! *muses continue to snore* -_- fine, ignore me then *storms off to sulk in a suitably shadowed corner*  
  
***Chapter 16***  
  
Voldemort's breathing eased. The rather unpleasant shock of the fact that the combined form of the two alien children had taken off completely of its own accord to do battle according to some alien rules had rattled him slightly. He relaxed now; the "child" had more or less done what he had commanded, and either way, he now had a far more interesting game to play.  
  
'And what way would you like to die this time Harry? The last few times didn't go as smoothly as expected, but I can assure you that death is quite imminent now'.  
  
Harry shook with blind fury. How dare this cowardly murderer taunt him so? To tease him about the fact that he could so easily take his life?  
  
Voldemort strode slowly, lightly stepping over the chunks of marble, eyes filled with mad bloodlust and complete confidence. His voice dripping like venom, riveting all who listened to their places.  
  
'Your parents certainly didn't take this much effort to kill. As for your god-father...'  
  
Something snapped. 'SHUT UP YOU BASTARD!'  
  
He launched across the floor, feet pounding as the blood surged in his head, deadening his hearing and fear. Harry drew his wand from his sleeve as he ran, breath gasping as he sprinted the sizable length of the room. The twisted dark wizard loomed before him, the snakelike leer etching deeper in his face as his own wand trailed as though through treacle in the air. The yew tip hovered in the foremost area of Harry's vision, faint green light prickling and in the background only cold red eyes. The last things he would ever see.  
  
But then it was gone. Soaring into the air as a snowy white cape fluttered around him, the cave spiralled below as he rose up and up. The beam of green light blasted through the other side of the cave, shredding a hole in the mountainside.  
  
I've escaped again, was all he could giddily think as the countryside dropped to a mere stained carpet below.  
  
Piccolo glanced behind himself, Goku was right there, with the other two in his hands. Vegeta and the Supreme Kai must still be back there. Since a part of him was Kami at one point, he momentarily mused returning to aid the Kai, but it was quickly quashed by Piccolo and Nail. The man down there is a lunatic, this boy is in danger and Gohan is fighting somewhere.  
  
Goku drew level with the grim Namekian, 'that wizard sure is something isn't he? That blast took out most of the mountain, and he's not even trained!'  
  
Piccolo glanced back at the amused Saiyan, 'I doubt it's on a similar level to our Ki, Goku. It's something else'.  
  
Goku yawned, 'I suppose. It's nice to have a challenge again though'.  
  
Ron squirmed irritably in the Saiyan's grasp; this was definitely not his favourite mode of transport. 'Where are we going?'  
  
Goku glanced down at him, 'we'll find Gohan and give him a hand if necessary. If Vegeta and the Supreme Kai aren't back by then, we'll go back there'.  
  
Hermione struggled to look the Saiyan in eye, the great breezes making her eyes water, 'what about Voldemort? Your friends are still down there!'  
  
'Friends? Oh yeah, I suppose...'  
  
Piccolo shook his head, 'Voldemort, or whatever he calls himself may be a formidable wizard, but he cannot match the powers of the Supreme Kai, let alone Vegeta in combat. If it's a question of magic, then the Supreme Kai will be more than a match for him'.  
  
Hermione bit her lip, 'I'm not so sure about that'.  
  
Goku glanced at her in surprise, 'why do you say that?'  
  
'Well, I'd say that Voldemort has what may be colloquially termed as a home- field advantage'.  
  
*  
  
A great surge of light blasted from Gotenks's hands, Gohan ducked and shot off to one side, scarcely avoiding being caught by the dramatic attack. Blood flowing freely from numerous cuts in his face and arms, yet the demi- Saiyan smiled despite himself. The boys really had been practising hard. No wonder it was so hard to track them down after they'd broken something.  
  
'Gotenks, it's me, Gohan!'  
  
Another blast singed the top of his violent blond hairline, once again sending the Saiyan diving for cover.  
  
'Goten! Trunks! I know you can hear me in there, you've got to fight it!'  
  
A fist flew out of nowhere and caught him sharply in the gut, doubling the young adult over in pain, forcing the air from his lungs. The ground spiralled towards him, the rocky turf looming larger and larger. With a sickening thump Gohan met with the ground, groaning as he pulled his wretched self from the impressive dent he'd made in the ground.  
  
'You know what, I'm CERTAIN you can hear me in there now'  
  
This really is not my day he pondered depressively. Having reached such a great power height earlier in the day, the demi-Saiyan's energy allowance had more or less been drained. Coupled with the fact that he really didn't want to hurt his younger brother, the fight was turning out more or less to be Gotenks striking and Gohan dodging. More or less. His best option at the moment was to keep the boys busy until the fusion wore out, then he may be able to knock them out. Why not knock them out now?  
  
Not a bad idea actually. Swaying slightly, Gohan leapt back into the air, hair fluttering as the radiance of gold energy increased to fuel his attack. The energy wouldn't last, he had one hit left; one hit that would either knock the mind-controlled fusion creation out, or empty him completely of energy and leave him vulnerable to the child's attack.  
  
He curled a single fist, fingernails biting deeply into the folds of his palms, calloused with years of training. Empting his great Ki reserves into his one fist, he lunged for the hovering demi-Saiyan, still smirking the confident smirk of one who knows that victory is guaranteed. With a scream of effort, the demi-Saiyan struck at the boy's forehead with all the force he had available. Gotenks' eyes followed Gohan's fist all the way as it extended towards his face, smirk widening to a grin as the fusion easily stepped aside. Gohan's expression flickered to one of horror as his Ki died and energy plummeted.  
  
He was heading back for the ground, Gotenks right behind him. The boys couldn't control themselves. He was in serious trouble. Why couldn't he have checked his bloody horoscope before agreeing to go first for this one?  
  
Gotenks drew level with his part-brother's descent, black eyes devoid of emotion yet his face filled with malice. It wasn't the boys' face; it was the wizard's. The wizard. Only his death would free them, or something that would emotionally challenge the boys enough into regaining control.  
  
The ground beckoned once again and the Saiyan was enfolded into its unforgiving surface, sinking deep into the looser soil and forming his own personal crater. Talk about déjà vu.  
  
Rolling onto his back, Gohan spat a mouthful of blood onto the churned turf around him. The landing hadn't been as bad as it could have been, but it still hurt. Plunging a couple of hundred metres out of the sky without a parachute (or occasionally even with) generally wasn't listed as one of the more pain-free of hobbies on the market.  
  
Gotenks landed gracefully several metres away. Bloody show-off. The childlike entity stalked towards the helpless demi-Saiyan, the same mad arrogance glimmering in his eyes as he advanced on the beaten Gohan. Not exactly beaten; Saiyan pride was always careful to outline this fact; but feeling pretty sorry for himself.  
  
Would his own brother and friend kill him? If this day was anything to go by, then the answer was quite obvious.  
  
*  
  
The Dark Lord was not happy. Had he been a normal person he would have been swearing, even spitting in fury at this insult. However the great Lord Voldemort isn't a normal person is he? So he was resigned to something more fitting for an evil villain. In others words; lots of nasty threats and homicidal gestures.  
  
The Supreme Kai wore a fetching expression of complete disbelief and confusion, while the Saiyan prince was fighting the overwhelming urge to burst out laughing. Voldemort continued to hurl abuse and threats at the sky, where the retreating figures of Piccolo, Goku, Harry, Ron and Hermione were fading into the clouds. Apparently the Dark Lord was not capable of flying unaided.  
  
After sufficient venting of his rage on the deaf sky, Voldemort turned his rage on the two remaining warriors, now beginning to wonder whether or not they should remind him that they were still here.  
  
'You two will die here, skills or no skills. There will be many prices that the others will pay for this insult, but your deaths will be the first'.  
  
He levelled his wand at Vegeta's head and screamed, 'AVADA KEDAVRA!'  
  
Even though Vegeta hadn't been paying attention during class, he was already willing to bet that the wand wasn't going to do him any favours. Blocking the issuing blast of green light would probably be as effective as fitting a set of wheels to it. Delving hurriedly into his supply of Ki, he more or less materialised behind Voldemort, dodging the attack and as he did so, throwing a punch into the small of the wizard's back.  
  
The Dark Lord fell forwards, magical shield coming up in time to shoulder most of the force, but too slow not to catch part of the brunt. He dropped and rolled easily, lunging back onto his feet and surveying the annoyed Saiyan with a mad grin.  
  
'Not fast enough I'm afraid, if that's the best you can do!'  
  
Kaioshin mentally groaned. Challenging Vegeta to a show of strength couldn't rank highly in the top list of intelligent things to do. This was either going to be very messy, take a long time or possibly both. The Saiyan's trademark arrogant smirk surfaced as he clenched his fists, Ki soaring in bright waves of light.  
  
'What ever gave you the idea that I was doing my best?'  
  
With a roar of effort, Vegeta's body was engulfed with radiant golden light, hair taking on the same colouring and eyes flashing to green. Voldemort raised one eyebrow, yet still appeared bored.  
  
'An impressive light display I admit, however I doubt it will help you any'.  
  
The wizard pointed his wand directly between Vegeta's eyes, 'AVADA KEDAVRA!'  
  
The beam of light smashed another hole through the cave; now resembling a Swiss cheese more than an environmental feature. Kaioshin stumbled forward as the ground gave a nasty shudder. The mountain certainly wouldn't take much more of this abuse. The Kai squinted into the dust cloud that had resulted from the blast as Voldemort laughed maliciously.  
  
'I fail to see what you find so amusing'.  
  
The Dark Lord jumped slightly as the Saiyan prince's voice sneered at him from behind, jerking around with an ugly mask of fury. 'How did you avoid that? It was point-blank range!'  
  
Vegeta snickered, 'point-blank range? That doesn't apply to me anymore'.  
  
The Supreme Kai utilised his wonderful training in emotional-withdrawal to not roll his eyes. The amount of ego in this room was getting ridiculous. If he wasn't careful he'd find that it was contagious... I wonder how Kibito would react to that?! Kaioshin permitted himself a slight evil smirk at that thought; it would be a wonderful prank to pull... Kaioshin; evil-lord- high-master of the universe. A tad out of character perhaps, but highly amusing all the same.  
  
Voldemort began to blast at the easily-dodging Saiyan with almost desperate randomness, beads of sweat building on his face as Vegeta continued to avoid every effort. Kaioshin was forced to avoid several of the stray beams of light as the wizard's plight became greater. Not that the Kai could blame him. Being attacked by Vegeta isn't pleasant, even if you can defeat him.  
  
How long could the wizard keep up these attacks?  
  
*  
  
'Gohan!'  
  
The exhausted demi-Saiyan blearily focussed his eyes on the origin of the sound. It had come from over Gotenks's shoulder. Was he dreaming? It seemed too real... stupid concussion talking probably.  
  
A green fist smacked into the side of the fusion's head, sending the smaller Saiyan sprawling across the ground in surprise. Piccolo glared down at his pupil, 'didn't I warn you not to stop training?'  
  
Gohan coughed bitterly, 'I'm sorry Piccolo. I can honestly say that I am regretting the consequences of my actions. Where's dad?'  
  
'Right here son'.  
  
The voice came from behind, Goku knelt down on the ground beside him, a slight grin on his face. 'I'd have to agree with Piccolo on this one, Gohan'.  
  
Gohan rolled his eyes, struggling to sit up, 'thank you for the parental support, now if you don't mind I'll return to bleeding in agony'.  
  
Goku chuckled, 'I'm joking Gohan'. Fumbling in his pocket, he drew out a grubby Sensu bean as Harry, Ron and Hermione watched on in fascination. Gohan hastily swallowed the bean and then lunged to his feet, cuts sealing themselves and bruises lightening. Hermione blinked in surprise, 'you have magical plants in your world?'  
  
Goku nodded, 'just these ones though. They replenish energy and generally heal people, except they can only be grown by Korrin'.  
  
Ron shook his head, 'I guess you're not exactly muggles or wizards are you?'  
  
Goku's answer was somewhat delayed by the arrival of Gotenks's fist in his back. With a cry of surprise, the Saiyan pitched forward, smacking into Gohan and sending both of them back into Gohan's crater. Piccolo darted forward, attempting to shield the suddenly-vulnerable wizards.  
  
Harry stared into the charcoal eyes of the young warrior; those eyes completely devoid of emotion. The memory of Barty Crouch stumbling out of the Forest rose in his mind. Could the child possibly still be fighting the control? He reached out, wand in hand. Piccolo froze in horror as Harry extended his hand, Gotenks watching the teenager's every movement. The Namekian had no chance of helping him.  
  
The wand tip stopped, pressing lightly against the forehead of the fused children, yet still Gotenks did not move. Fingers trembling, Harry pondered over what he meant to do. The action of placing the wand on the boys' forehead had simply been an instinctive reaction; now he was completely stumped for ideas of what to happen next. The black eyes were boring into his own; could he see something in them?  
  
The wand suddenly gave a vicious shudder, wrenching itself almost out of Harry's hand. He clung on in surprise as Gotenks gave a cry of shock. What was happening now? Hang on a minute... this seemed familiar. The wand formed a gold bead right at his fingertips, the wood still vibrating at terrible speed. Voldemort and his wand shared the same core – they would not attack each other as easily.  
  
His wand was combating the Imperious curse on the boys. Gritting his teeth with effort, Harry mentally drove the bead away. Sweat dripped down his jaw, snaking down his neck as the golden spot slowly edged its way down the wand.  
  
Gohan's eyes never left the golden dot; he didn't know why, but he knew that it was vitally important for the bead to make contact with Gotenks. Something else was annoying him though. How long had the boys been fused? The bead couldn't hit both at the same time...  
  
*  
  
'What is your name sir?'  
  
'I resent this! I AM NOT INSANE!!!!'  
  
'Your name please sir?'  
  
'..... My name is Dende'  
  
'Is that your first or second name?'  
  
'It's my name'.  
  
The nurse gave the glowering little Guardian a wide false smile, candy-pink lipstick stretching into the grimace. Dende glared back, headache still distorting his vision; today did not rank among the better days he had been having.  
  
'Ok Mr Dende, we're going to take you to see the doctor now, if you could just follow me'.  
  
The glare intensified, 'I'm not going anywhere. I don't need a doctor'.  
  
The lipstick took on a more threatening edge, 'I assure you sir, the doctor will be able to determine whether or not you need help'.  
  
Two towering security guards moved to either side of the vertically- challenged God, offering some slight incentive to move forwards. Dende glared resolutely at the floor as he trudged after the nurse. He wasn't much of a fighter, especially against these human mountains. The nurse opened a door in front of them, beckoning the furious Dende into the room. He threw her a special glare of hatred before stamping in. The door slammed behind him.  
  
'Welcome, Mr Dende'.  
  
Dende didn't even grace that with an answer. The room was the same seen in psychiatrist scenes in soap operas all over the world; complete with long leather chair, assortment of doctor qualifications on the walls (most of which were probably printed out over the internet) and cheap nylon carpet. Clumping over to the couch, he sat down heavily and continued to examine the afore-mentioned carpet.  
  
'Sit down please'.  
  
The Namek rolled his eyes. No wonder this guy worked at a mental facility – he was already more than qualified as a patient as well as a "doctor".  
  
The psychiatrist sighed inwardly. This guy could be written off as a hopeless case already; not to mention the weird skin colouring and body art, the young...male was completely ignoring him in favour of watching the carpet.  
  
'Mr Dende, I'd like you to fill in this questionnaire for me so I can judge whether or not you need my help'.  
  
Dende glared up at the bespectacled old man, 'I do not need help. How many times must I say this?!'  
  
Completely unruffled, the doctor smoothly replied, ' if you just fill in this form I will be able to judge that for myself'. Handing the Guardian a flimsy piece of paper, clipboard and dying biro, he reclined in his own leather armchair. Not much analysis required for this nutcase.  
  
Dende stared down at the paper, frowned and began to scribble. After a few seconds, he tossed the clipboard contemptuously at the desk and resumed his glaring at the hapless furniture.  
  
The psychiatrist surveyed the paper mildly, 'You were born in Namek? Exactly where is that?'  
  
Dende rolled his eyes, 'a looooooong way from here. I can guarantee you've never been there'.  
  
'And you didn't fill in the work placement part properly'.  
  
'Yes I did'  
  
'No you didn't". The doctor returned the paper to Dende, where the Guardian yawned and scribbled something on the blank line.  
  
The doctor blinked, 'you oversee the world? What does that involve?'  
  
'Getting drunk mostly. Except this time I screwed up really badly and now the overseer of the universe wants me dead. Well, I don't know if he does, but his bodyguard certainly does, since he chased me through the air in order to beat me up'.  
  
The Namek hadn't even finished speaking when the door flew open and the security guards returned, called by a button under the doctor's desk. They grabbed the flailing Namek under each arm, hoisting him partially aloft.  
  
'Mr Dende will require a regular dose of tranquillizers twice a day. I recommend one of the padded rooms and if he becomes violent, perhaps a straightjacket as well'.  
  
Dende's curses echoed through the corridors of the hospital, educating the nearby population in how not to talk to people you like in Namekian. For a peaceful race, they certainly had some very graphic curses. The doctor sighed; he wasn't a bad person, but being treated like a moron all the time really annoyed a guy after a while. Anyway, the kid was definitely either insane or exceptionally weird. If someone came in to claim him, they might be able to explain some of the oddities by the appearance of the crowd he lived with.  
  
*  
  
wild-filly: once again, I apologise for the delay, but the next chapter should be up sooner now that the holidays are here ^_^ please review! 


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